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Throwback Write-Up #18: El-P - Fantastic Damage

2020.08.27 17:06 Aceofdave13 Throwback Write-Up #18: El-P - Fantastic Damage

Artist: EL-P
Album: Fantastic Damage
Label: Definitive Jux
Release Date: May 14, 2002

Background/Context:

The 3rd album released under EL-P's own label: Definitive Jux, Fantastic Damage stands out as one of the first major Hip-Hop releases released in the wake of the September 11 terrorist attacks. Despite its release date, the album was actually recorded before 9/11 actually happened. Regardless, the paranoia laced throughout the album resonated with the people who listened to it at the time immensely. It became enough of an underground success to be on the Billboard 200 charts and was also a critical darling for many review sites. It took many years for this album to emerge out of the underground despite EL-P enjoying mainstream success with Run the Jewels for 7 years. Hell, this album wasn't even put out on streaming services until just 3 months ago (physical copies have also never seen a repress in ages as well). With what's going on currently in the world, Fantastic Damage's reemergence couldn't have come at a better time and serves as an important reminder that the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Album Analysis: Themes

Fantastic Damage covers a myriad of themes throughout the 16 songs on the track listing: war, parental abuse, drug-induced paranoia, media fear frenzies, corporations shitting on artistic integrity in entertainment, EL's personal relationship issues, and the general paranoia that everything wrong with the world currently is only going to get so, so much worse. These themes reflect EL-P's upbringing and adult life in NYC leading into the 21st century. He had already dissolved his original group Company Flow despite riding off of the momentum of "Funcrusher Plus" and the falling out with Rawkus Records was even more pronounced ("Sign to Rawkus? I'd rather me mouthfucked by Nazis unconscious"). Dead Disney reflects the corporate fuckery that EL had to deal with during the founding of Definitive Jux. It was originally just "Def Jux", but Def Jam filed a lawsuit for the name and thus he had to change it. The rest of the song dives into a vigilante killing spree against Disney's characters and destroying Disney World itself. He makes similar comments on the entertainer industry in "Delorean" and the title track with references to both Star Wars and Back to the Future being uttered in his lyrics.
It's no shock that dystopian authors like George Orwell (1984, Animal Farm) and Phillip K Dick (The Man in the High Castle) were massive inspirations for much of the album. "Accidents Don't Happen" flat-out samples a scene from the film adaptation of 1984. Particularly the scene in Room 101 where O'Brien interrogates Winston and reveals the whole purpose of Big Brother. Clips of O'Brien's dialogue are spread throughout the song as EL-P, Cage, and the late Camu Tao unleash dense verses paralleling the themes of 1984 into what the US government had been rapidly turning into in the late 90s and early 2000s as information warfare and the "war on terror" were ramping up into full gear as a means to mortgage more of our fundamental rights away. The song that precedes this (The Nang, the Front, The Bush, and the Shit) uses the backdrop of the Vietnam War as a means to highlight how the government manipulates teenagers into signing up to the military only to have their lives thrown away over a pointless political endeavor. The lead single and most well known track off of this album (Deep Space 9mm) dives into how EL is detached from the decadency and corruption prevalent in NYC. The world is run by a few cronies that drain everyone's will to live through mindless consumerism and paranoia and all we're doing is sitting on our asses not doing anything about it and if anything, killing each other over stupid shit. Which includes EL-P himself on the hook ("Tell the historians I'm right here holding my nuts").
There are two songs on Fantastic Damage that primarily tackle the 3rd major theme with the record, that being EL's personal issues and anxieties surrounding both his childhood and his struggles with finding himself and caring about people he's loved in the past. The first song: Stepfather factory uses the concept of a corporation producing robotic stepfathers to both console and assist single mothers with raising a family. The consequences of these "stepfathers" is that they're simply cold, indifferent providers instead of actual parents and their fuel source is alcohol which has a side effect of leading the robots to attack the families they were designed to protect. EL-P is not shy about talking about the abuse that him and his mother faced at the hands of an abusive stepfather and this song is a poignant metaphor for not just EL's personal hardships, but the crumbling family structure of society in general. In fact, this is one of 3 songs (Company Flow- Last Good Sleep and another solo song titled "For My Upstairs Neighbor (Mums the Word)"). The second song (TOJ) is meant to lyrically be a love letter to an ex of EL-P that shows that in spite of the relationship crumbling between them, he had eventually been able to see the good in himself that she had seen in him and profusely thanked her for that revelation.

Album Analysis: Production

The dense and diverse lyricism and themes present on this album can't hide the fact that the main reason why this album is so revered is its production. EL's use of sampling and genre-bending create a dissonant, industrial, and... funky soundscape to which the album plays through. Production as classically "street" as 90s boom bap hip hop was as it is "industrial" and "progressive" like contemporary artists such as Dälek were doing at the very same time. Dissonant droning intros are very common in this album. "Accidents Don't Happen, "The Nang, the Front, The Bush, and the Shit", and the title track all use this to help set up the dystopian themes that these songs explore. "Truancy" dedicates the last few minutes of the track to an instrumental with no verse layered over it. EL allows the song to essentially break itself down until it is slowly manipulated into resembling the intro of "The Nang...". The second half of the album showcases examples of funk-infused hip-hop beats throughout many tracks such as "Lazerface's Warning", "Blood" and "Dr. Hellno and the Praying Mantus". It's also impossible to forget the jazz influences that are laced in much of the production. EL uses jazz drumming samples on songs such as "Deep Space 9mm" and "Truancy" and it greatly enhances the tone that each beat has laid out. One line in "Squeegee Man Shooting" cites his biological father as the main reason why he often samples jazz in many of his beats ("Dad played jazz when he drank, it's no accident Hands on the piano and make my foot tap to it Different path, same love, Dad, thanks for passing it").
Every style that EL pursues on each beat is a masterclass in Hip-Hop production and allows for a wider appeal than the experimental and esoteric reputation that this album has will lead you to believe. My personal favorite beats off this record include "Accidents Don't Happen", "Truancy", and "Tuned Mass Damper". Each song captures specific aspects of NYC that EL-P tries to describe in these songs and they help visualize the mayhem that goes on in that city perfectly. The droning industrial rhythms of "Accidents Don't happen help visualize the dark and gritty reality of being in a dense, disgusting, and over-policed city where everything that you do either is monitored, or feels like it's being monitored. "Truancy's" beat helps paint the mayhem of EL's rebellious and rambunctious childhood in the streets of New York. Skipping school, getting into fights with figures of authority, and his random interactions with the crazies that the city provides plenty of. And "Tuned Mass Damper" to me feels like the ultimate "walking the streets of New York" feel to it. I'm amazed that out of all the movies that does the same "panning shots of NYC" at the beginning of every damn movie taking place there, not one of those scenes uses this song to complement the scenery. I've been to NYC multiple times visiting family or just exploring shit and it's been the main staple of the shitty earbuds I use to listen to music on the streets to avoid getting robbed.

Album Analysis: 3 Most Notable Verses

Narrowing such a lyrical album to just going into 3 verses is drastically understating what EL says throughout this album, but these are the particular standouts that have stuck with me throughout all the years I've been listening to this album"
  1. "The Nang, the Front, the Bush, and the Shit"- Verse 1: EL dives into the lies that military recruiters use to hype up the army to susceptible kids wanting to go out and blow shit up and be respected by their peers. The verse contains the most poignant line in the entire album and something that perfectly condenses the message of the song ("I'm not a mechanism born from disdain, I had to be trained"). It proceeds to describe the perspective of a soldier stuck in Saigon in 1975 as the US Embassy is being overrun with NVA troops and is trying to get on the last helicopter evacuating the last remaining Americans in Vietnam. The verse then transitions into a flashback to when the said soldier is being lectured about the joys of the military by the recruiter. He's told that he can pay for school after his service and get tons of women with uniform fetishes trying to get into his pants. That he'll be a hero to his country and that everyone will suddenly respect him more as a result. He enthusiastically signs up for the army as a result but it's very clear that this is a man that 100% regretted his decision and he now knows that he was simply being used by his government.
    (Pass me the tiger piss) I tunnel rat into the hidden habits of collage dog inferno No turning paths back(charlie attack!) The half man have orders to burn the village And come out with both hands intact I'm not a mechanism born from disdain, I had to be trained Now I catcall with dead walkers I'll send a postcard form the Nang If I can get onto the roof in time to hang From the leg of this last chopper
Son of an obese burner perturbed to grow in a row Of rotating blood colors on brick textures And others modified climates make nasty tongue plunge (head shots) With opposite of chameleon blends from cartoon dreadnoughts There was this parasite inside my wide intestinal tract That took over my bark box before I had a chance to take my life back And his deformed banter suprised me (where at?) At the recruiters office, learning how to get a head in advertising He said: "Sure, others have passed, this is a gate to definition But thats not the singular attraction to the setup Not the action or the sacrifice of past draftees Actually more of a layaway ducats plan For the young get up and go out motivators See the new soldiers smolder different From that antiquated taste of stately hatred" Well I came from melting options on the D train to the lobby See academics played second in my life To unmatriculated brain hobbies And I admire the dedication to you ranks Plus want the training Loss is not a big problem it's all about what I'd be gaining, "Well you'll get power, respect, an audience, a check, a car, Money for school, honey with uniform fetish on your tool, You'll travel, form bonds, be a part of something have a structure, catch bullets..." (catch bullets?) "...I meant cash bonus See this gold plaque, you could own it After killing half a million It's such a good feeling To earn your country's respect and love So what do you say son, are you my man?" Fuck it, sign me up
  1. "Accidents Don't Happen"- Verse 3 (Camu Tao)- Not a verse done by EL-P, but Camus verse on this song absolutely bangs on top of having some of the most memorable lines on the entire album. Going off on how the war on drugs has given the government a blank check to violate peoples' rights just because they use drugs. So much money is put into combating the drug industry and it's only resulted in an over-policed society where we think we're afforded many freedoms, but doing something as basic as smoking weed can ruin your entire life by being forced through the US prison system. A system that focuses on punishment rather than rehabilitation.
It's the year 2010, you can say what you want But I bet if you light this blunt, dummy, the feds'll come runnin' Lock you up, lock you out, you ain't tryin' to listen Cameras in your food, dude, look they're trying to listen Lock you up, lock you out, we got bugs in the house We're being monitored, they know we got thugs in the house Don't light your blunt, bitch, they'll hit you with a switch Hit you with a beam, hit you in the brain, make you go totally insane Wild out, guns in the spot, flippin' on you niggas They take you out, then the Feds push guns on the roof They take 'em out, melt you out 'cause you know too much After that you know your ho's get touched Look, Then the meaning starts Download your chip to a memory card Give your chips and send 'em to a city job
  1. "Stepfather Factory"- Verse 1- EL takes the perspective of a CEO of a company that's been developing robotic stepfathers to help combat the epidemic of single mothers in America. He describes how single mothers are often driven to the brink by the stresses of both parenting and the loneliness caused by not having a significant other in their life. He criticizes how technological advancements have often been used to distract people from problems rather than solve them head on. He proposes that these robots will actually serve to end the issue of faithlessness once and for all. As his speech goes on though there are subtle hints that he's losing his confidence towards his product as he stutters over his lines when it comes to describing the robot's features and composition. It shows how corporations pander to social issues and pretend to fight for social issues when it's clear that they only care that people buy their product.
Spilling the leftovers of [creational clique] We grew with the concept now we're ready to go public Today's a big day for the company A big step for the little-steppers who slept for years uncomfortably Little man, little lady, cute little baby Reach your hand out to the future of automated robotics On display here for the first time in under a year here At the World's fair - but is it really? Ladies and Gentlemen I propose that the market is sinking under the weight of useless contraptions added to the shopping carts of all hard-working families Electric doodads and wizard hats [exist] to keep the munchkins entertained But get replaced by newer versions such as breakdown systematically Mothers - how many times have you debated sub-euthanasia tablets for breakfast snacks When restlessness attacks seemingly at random? With an emptiness inside that's hard to identify, maybe Pursuing obvious like pill-popping [the cossanova edict] Chances are you've been abandoned Well I'm no scientist, that's not what I went to school for And I'm not a doctor, so I don't know much about medicine But I'm willing to bet that you, yes you little what's your name sweetheart? (dada) yeah, whatever Get a funny feeling in your tummy when your mommy cries Something between woozy and confusion And you spend your thoughts on how the sadnessin your mommy can be rooted out, burned, scorched, turned out, forgotten Different concepts than the candy and little baby dolls or Whatever it is that normal kids get to think about Well I can honestly say that this invention is, Let me start by saying we've grafted only the finest stuff Inserted the most high tech, state of the art, with brain charted for authentic Truly human emotion and trained to be domestic Made from the most easily available materials and, uh, loosely inspected Guaranteed to revolutionize Perfectly realistic and even somewhat institutionally respected Robotic relative

Addendum

Fantastic Damage is my all-time favorite Hip-Hop album and one of my top 3 albums of any genre. It's been an extremely influential album both in my musical journey and my personal worldview as a whole. The production still feels light years ahead of its time and for a 70 min-long album, it's a shockingly easy listen for me. As I've been writing this, I've listened to the album almost a dozen times back-to-back-to-back-to-back and it never felt tiring. It's an amazing thing that EL is finally putting out his older material again because in my opinion, I believe that is solo work as well as Company Flow are much more interesting and creative and engaging than Run the Jewels despite being a very big fan of RTJ in spite of my own comment.

Favorite Lyrics:

  1. "I'm not a mechanism born from disdain, I had to be trained"- The Nang, the Front, the Bush, and the Shit
  2. It's the year 2010, you can say what you want But I bet if you light this blunt, dummy, the feds'll come runnin'- Accidents Don't Happen
  3. "Sign to Rawkus? I'd rather be mouthfucked by Nazis Unconscious"- Deep Space 9mm
  4. "And now I'm grown and I still can't protect my sister But I know she has her mother's strength within her And maybe I can tap that strength and burn with greatness EXPOSE THESE ALCOHOLIC STEPFATHERS AND RAPISTS!"- Constellation Funk
  5. "It's like the Bilderburgs came to dinner with filthy birds they pussy all infected I'm lookin for milky words they pulled my third eye out then they let it dry out had to pour my belief in Christ to find out"- Accidents Don't Happen

Favorite Songs

  1. Accidents Don't Happen
  2. Tuned Mass Damper
  3. The Nang, the Front, the Bush, and the Shit
  4. Stepfather Factory
  5. Truancy

Discussion Questions

  1. How does this album hold up compared to EL-P's other albums as well as the stuff that he's done in both Company Flow and Run the Jewels? Is this your favorite era of EL's music? Or does something feel lacking with his style at this point in his career?
  2. When did you first listen to Fantastic Damage? Are you a (relative) newcomer to his older music? Or are you an OG that's been listening to him since the 90s?
  3. What is your favorite album that was released through Definitive Jux? If it's also Fantastic Damage feel free to add on to any characteristics I might have missed out on in this write up.
  4. How does the messaging of Fantastic Damage hold up in 2020? Are there certain lyrics and references that date the album too much to truly be an "ageless" record?
  5. What's your favorite album that EL-P has done? It can also extent to albums that he's produced and not just rapped on as well.
submitted by Aceofdave13 to hiphopheads [link] [comments]


2020.08.15 04:54 jivanyatra A different reason to learn: programming as a tool, not a career

Learn programming to improve your current job

This place is a wonderful place to learn things. I, myself, have spent a lot of time here and have learned so much because of the community. I wanted to give back a bit, and in light of what's going on in the world now, I figured I'd detail a different reason to learn programming and tell you a bit about my experience. I hope it inspires people to learn, but especially those who aren't ready for a full-blown career change (yet, or ever).

My Background

Before I dive in, I think you guys might appreciate a bit of background about me. You probably don't have the same background I do, nor will be at a company like mine, but that doesn't mean you can't start learning things or find a way to adjust your job within your company.
I have been a techie for a very long time. I'm in my mid-thirties, and I've been using computers since I was about ten years old. A lot of that time was spent on basic stuff - games, typing, word processing, spreadsheets, browsing the web. From there, I started repairing and (re)building/upgrading computers for myself, family, and friends. I learned a lot about what NOT to do professionally at a time when I didn't have much in terms of consequences (see /talesfromtechsupport for their opinion on how to help family... haha). I also got into Linux around this time and made TONS of mistakes on an old computer learning how to get things running. Didn't know what I was really doing, but it was a fun way to kill time when I couldn't spend it with friends.
A few years later, I started learning html and css in the early days of html 4.0. I thought I might enjoy programming, so I took some classes in high school. I was good enough at it, but it felt super tedious for me and I figured I just didn't like it, despite having spent time with VB, VC++, and a little bit of JavaScript. I learned the basics of things like variables, data types, loops, control flow... The basic grammar of the languages. Built some small stuff, but it was frustrating enough that I gave up on it. I also stopped messing with Linux because I got a nice computer and started gaming heavily.
When I went to college, I follow a pre-med path. I worked at the computer labs and ended up in supervisory role. This taught a lot about customer service and really interacting with co-workers. Soft skills are super important, as I learned. I graduated college without a full-time job and without a competitive advantage trying to get into med school. I gave up on that. Around this time, I got back into linux fairly seriously, learning commands, running a home file server, then adding torrenting functionality, music streaming apps, etc.
I ended up working for the US Census for a while doing everything from address canvassing and mapping through a short stint as a supervisor in their IT dept, though I ended up moving back to Admin because I could train people more effectively than others could and they needed me.
I was a writer for a tech blog for a while, doing guides, a few reviews, and just generally
Fast forward a few years, I moved to NYC for a post-bac, and I landed a job at a tech startup for a while being paid decently and doing a lot of data management work.
A few years later, I gave up on grad school (too expensive) and ended up working for an e-commerce company that's relatively small, but was growing moderately at the time. This was roughly 5-6 years ago now. It wasn't until about three months before I got this job that I started to (re)learn programming. I went through codecademy for python, then did a bunch of supplemental stuff, learn python the hard way, relearned python 3, and did an online group course through I company I ended up working at as a side-gig later. We had live zoom classes and office hours and projects and homework. This course started about 3 months into my new job.
So, to recap, I was messing with computer since I was 10 years old, got exposed to a lot stuff even if I didn't do much with it, and just nurtured a love of all kinds of technology. Later in life, I self-studied python for 3 months, got a job doing tech support for an e-commerce company and continued studying for another 3 months, and at that point did a 10-week online course. So, about 9 months after I started learning python, I did a project with two others where we used the stripe API to pull dummy data from fake customers' accounts, and then display very basic trends and metrics using the bokeh library, and threw this into a django app. We each did a different part, but taught the other two how to do what we did.
That brings me to my current job and the end of any real formal learning. When I started, I was employee #8, and alongside 3 free-lancers overseas, that was our company. One founder and one manager (together, the two partners, owners of the company), me as tech support, one as customer service, one manning the store, one doing ppc/etc, and one shipping out customers' orders.

Disclaimer

I am absolutely privileged. I did not have to provide for a family while I was going through this. I was broke, but didn't have to worry about rent and food. I had years of interest and love for tech that filled in a lot of knowledge. I'm lucky to have ended up at a company that rewards risk-taking, doesn't punish failure, and allows most of us to grow and switch into positions where are interests and budding talents lie.
Most people won't have all of these things. Still, I hope I can give you some insight that might help you. Sometimes, my advice will be wrong. This doesn't fit all situations. Somewhere in here, though, there's probably something for you to consider. If you're someone who's thinking about learning programming but aren't sure why or how it'll help, then this is especially directed at you.
If, however, you're making progress and have a lot of general frustration, I think maybe my background and career path might inspire you to have some patience for the process or learn from my mistakes or successes.
If you have imposter syndrome, well, there's a reason I never called myself a programmer for years even when I was doing it regularly. I hope my journey helps you realize that sometimes you just roll with the punches.

Building Skills Efficiently

My story

I knew a lot about technology. I watched tech news and youtube channels and follow engadget until the verge writers split off to do their own thing, and in general swallowed up tech. I used whatever I could get my hands on, which was usually old, outdated equipment. I learned a lot about obscure stuff that gave me some geek cred - something that isn't important to have in and of itself necessarily, but makes you memorable when networking.

Networking

Networking is making connections in a sustainable way. Sure, you can be on linkedin with someone you met once at a conference and get a job. Happened to me a few times. But, I feel, the trick to networking well is to be passionate but also be respectful of others' time. I shut up and apologized when I caught myself ranting/rambling. Often, I was urged to continue because who I was talking to had similar interest levels. Other times, I had turned them off to further conversation. This is how you can develop soft skills at the same time as making quality connections. Again, soft skills are integral to any job, but especially so in any technical role.
I had a unique background, having run my own linux server at home for a while. I made friends with junior and senior sysadmins, thinking that was something I'd try to get into, via something like a tier 2 or 3 tech support position. Didn't happen, but some of those people I still talk to and turn to for advice. They stayed in touch because they liked my taste in gadgets - often ones I couldn't afford but drooled over reviews of. Staying in touch is a life skill, and is very close to staying engaged, something you need to learn to do well if you want to do project management, or any kind of management to some degree.

Back to my story

I talked about tech like it was my life, even though it really wasn't. This was my "fake it til you make it." This helped me get a low-paying job in tech support. That allowed me to learn about a specific domain of customers and physical products, and really helped me get my tech support chops. Even today, I hate doing anything in Customer Service, but I feel for the people in my company who are doing it and I treat them well, and when I can, I give them opportunities to step up and learn and do more. These are tangible management skills in almost any job you can think of. Do NOT neglect these.
I knew a lot about cellular technology. Not a ton, but more than anyone else at the company. We had a partner through which we sold a service. I learned about cellular, about the devices we sold, and I had some opinions on the direction of technology. This caught one of the partners' interest. He wanted to know if we could bring the service in-house. I did my best to help answer that question.

Learning on the job

I admitted that I knew some but not everything surrounding the question. I also mentioned I could learn it. How did I know I could learn it? I had done it before through my interests and hobbies! Learning how to learn is incredibly important! Anyone here will tell you that if you can't read documentation and learn something, programming isn't for you. You need discipline to do that, and you need to know yourself so you can use all the tricks to force yourself to learn quickly, focus faster and for longer, and take the right kind of breaks when you need to.

Learning and teaching

But, another reason learning how to learn is important is because it teaches you how to teach. My role at the census was incredible because I learned how to teach effectively. I did onboarding, then taught how to do payroll. My shift processed almost double the payroll than other shifts because I taught them basic keyboard shortcuts and showed them small optimizations in the keying process (we'll get back to this later). I also taught others who ended up taking over onboarding how to fingerprint more consistently and effectively. That's not an easy thing, and if your prints didn't process, you couldn't work! It had tangible benefits in getting us fully staffed in a timely manner.
This also is what helped me get my paid blogging role. Independent research was one thing, how-to guides and the like were another. Learning skills like annotating screenshots, building troubleshooting sections, and understanding processes is fundamental to writing good documentation for lay people. It might be a bit different for programmers, but for people in other, non-technical roles, going that extra step or two here and there really sets you apart by more than you think.

Back to learning on the job

Because of those skills, I had the opportunity to spend part of my shifts away from calls so I could focus on an on-going project. I eventually even set up a local server and tested a device I reprogrammed myself to see what other "gotchas" were in the process. As my understanding grew, I was able to better communicate with the existing service provider, and our business increased. This led to another opportunity.
My job at the computer lab entailed interviewing and hiring, as well as onboarding and training (like at the census). Our call volume went up, and I hired someone to help me and gave them the training they needed. This gave me more time to work on the project at hand.
Ultimately, I determined that it didn't make sense to leave our service partner until we had a better foothold in the industry. Still, delivering that kind of opinion with organized data and experience was crucial. It allowed me to start taking on smaller projects in the company.

Programming as a tool: part 1

As my boss learned, I was learning how to program and do small projects in my spare time. I was tasked with organizing customer information into a central database of sorts. I under-promised and over-delivered so well that Scotty himself would have been proud. Not something I can blindly recommend, but I'll let the full-timers speak to that. I will mention, though, that I saw that my boss valued honesty and I kept being honest back (but just adding a margin for error). At the end of the day, I accomplished the goal, even with a few missteps.

A taste of project management

Because of that, for more moderate projects that I didn't feel comfortable doing, I was tasked with hiring freelancers and working with our own developer to deploy things. This was because speaking tech and translating to lay speak is an important soft skill. It enables you to manage others effectively, but also enables you to have valuable input. It is also crucial to know your limits so you don't make over-reaching conclusions. You learn how to work in gray areas.

Programming as a tool: part 2

Skipping ahead a bit, the company grew and we took on an interesting project, working with suppliers to list items for sales on ecommerce sites and drop shipping them.
Our CRM had over 1.1 million items, even though there was a 38% overlap. To fix a problem like this, you need domain-specific knowledge. Explaining to programmer that, "yes, Amazon thinks every ASIN is unique product, but that's not actually true" can be tricky and annoying. Telling them "each manufacturer uses a different field as a primary key, and sometimes those cause duplicate ASINs" is much clearer. Knowing which fields to trust always or sometimes, which to never trust, when to use context and when to ignore context... These are all enabled by domain-specific knowledge.
During this phase in the company, I spent a lot of time identifying criteria to match duplicates over a variety of contexts. I spent a lot of time writing scripts to do bulk edits, deletes, or adds to our content-management system. I also spent a lot of time making quality-of-life alterations for our shipping department. This lead to another focus of mine.

Operations and Procedures / Programming as a tool: part 3

Programmers need to learn to be analytical, but they also need to learn to be procedural (hehe). Programmers understand how skipped steps and vagaries can lead to inconsistent outcomes.
Learning how think like a programmer, even if you aren't one, is incredibly useful when combined with domain-specific knowledge. Now, I know many of you are familiar with the "new guy who wants to change everything" trope. This is where your soft skills come into play.
Learn how a process is done. Understand their pain points, and how they deal with them. Understand what they do well. Ask hypothetical questions with good, concrete examples. Do this with people on the line as well as their managers. It's rare in life that people are on the same page, so understanding as many sides of a thing as you can will help. This is your discovery phase, and ONLY after you have completed this can you try to improve things.
I used an online database tool with a wysiwyg front-end builder called knack. It's like dreamweaver meets google docs meets databases. Can't speak for anyone else, but for me, it was the right tool for the right job. I knew that I hated front-end development (and I still do!), and since writing something myself and deploying it would eat into time spent for other responsibilities, it wasn't an option for me. This tool bridge the gap, and it was cheap to implement in our case.
This let me fix the crucial mistake that most non-techies make: spreadsheets are not databases. Speadsheets are fine things. Very useful. However, if you need to have auditing or controlled access, even google sheets isn't going to do it for you. Most normal people don't know this. You have an advantage here. Implementing knack really streamlined a lot of smaller undocumented processes regarding re-shipments, returns, repairs, managing online presences, and a host of other things. I'm pretty sure our slack usage dropped by half. Most of these little applets were CRUD forms and work queues and took maybe two days to go through discovery, a day or two to build a prototype, and another three days to test, adjust, and deploy.
An average of 6-7 business days to reduce errors, prevent record destruction, and streamline someone's job? All of those departments LOVED me. The cost was $40/month? Managers loved me. I became the go-to guy to handle these things. Making sure people can't make mistakes in a friendly way like this really goes a long way to building good will with your fellow employees, but that only works if you take their feedback and understand the administrative process. What I mean here is that if someone on the line wants a change but a manager doesn't, you have to explain the need to the manager and the roadblock to the line worker, but in a way that doesn't antagonize anyone involved. Again, soft skills.

Back to the story

Throughout this time, I'd budget work hours to learn. Parts of my job relied on staying up to date about changes to our tools and SaaS systems, but also larger trends. I was able to justify going to PyGotham a few times as a work-education thing. A few of the tricks and libraries I picked up really helped us out when we had some jams, so that was money well spent as far as the partners were concerned. But, I also took a renewed interest in our service-related products. I started to help out some of the product-adjacent managers to see what else was out there, both people we could buy from and competitors. Understanding this was crucial to developing tastes and understanding customer feedback better.

Hardware

Fast-forwarding, I started implementing product testing procedures for new products, worked on a new manufacturer partner's product to integrate it in our service, troubleshot issues related to existing products, and eventually we scrapped a lot of our business and focused on the key money makers. For me, that meant hardware. I learned a lot by documentation and training. We finally decided to bring our service in house. We gained an incredible development team in the process.
The biggest part of this was device configuration. It was a nightmare keeping them apart and revising them, not to mention the fact that we didn't audit what was incoming. If the manufacturer made a change, we were the last to know about it. So, I did something I'd only know to do if I used it as a programmer, I used GitHub. Git is a great tool for version control of ALL kinds, not just code. Configurations are perfect for this.
Troubleshooting customer issues was also super important. I became the leading internal resource for the hardware, so I started working with our developers to help them understand what the devices can do in order to better leverage them. I also worked closely with the tech support team to give them what they needed to troubleshoot and resolve issues better. I pre-formatted remote commands for them to use and I wrote a lot of the tribal knowledge I had gained down into a document, eventually splitting that into guides for interacting with the devices.

Programming Full-Time

This brings us into recent months. After organizing configs and implementing changelogs, I got ahead of the manufacturer's changes. I started testing firmware before we deployed it. We got ahead of problems. I wrote tools that used the APIs that our developers made to ease things for tech support tier 3. I wrote tools to help organize files before they were committed to git. I worked with the developers more closely as we faced a few large bumps in the road.
Finally, a few weeks ago, I was transferred to the engineering team full-time.

Skills and Takeaways

While I did end up as an engineer, you'll notice that the vast majority of my job history and skills were tangential or parallel to programming in some way. I wasn't a programmer 99% of the time, nor was I anywhere near a full-time engineer.
However, learning programming gave me several skills I didn't have before:
Could I have learned these elsewhere? Sure. Arguably, some I was already starting to from my Linux experience. Still, learning programming streamlined learning those skills. Then, I could fully take advantage of them with my other skills:
All of these allowed me to do a wide variety of jobs in a few different roles:
Lastly, I hope there are few different things that you can take away from my journey so far.

My journey went on to engineering; yours doesn't need to

As I've mentioned, I hope this post has given you some ideas for how you can develop your existing career using programming. Not everyone has the bandwidth or desire to make a full career change. Others simply don't have the luxury to do it in one fell swoop. A lot of my ideas can apply to various office, support, and "dispatch"-like positions in warehouses/factories. It can seriously help you streamline and speed up work you could otherwise already do at a much slower pace. Also, crucially, if you're in an environment that appreciates and allows you grow into these tools, you can use what you learn to pivot yourself more safely if you DO want to make the change.
If you are in a situation where your boss sucks or coworkers are shit, then feel free to keep what you're doing as secretive as you can. Basically, automate your job as best you can, but don't tell anyone. Then, use the rest of your time to learn and hone this skill until the time is right to leave/pivot to a different job, or to jump ahead of your boss or into a different department. Just be sure you have a record of your code so you can show it to potential employers, and if you can, anonymize your data as best you can so you can't get slammed for giving away any secrets.

Programming is a useful tool in and of itself, even if you're not a programmer

Programming is a great tool to make your job easier, so you can spend less time doing tedious repetitive things and more time doing things you like or expanding and taking on more projects or responsibilities. You don't have to change careers to appreciate this. In my roles, I've used python + pandas to take gigantic spreadsheets (excel chokes after filesize is over like 150 MB or something) and apply basic changes, more advanced changes, or create pivot tables. These are common office tasks and functions that can get annoying to have to do by hand week over week. You can automate that so you can focus on other crap.

Programming can be a useful tool in the abstract, even if you're not a programmer

Programming teaches you a methodical way to think about problems. It gives you a variety of abstract tools to solve those problems. Even if you can't implement them in a language well, you can still talk to those who can. You can also apply ideas to the real world. Conditionals are basic programming building blocks, but you don't often see people in smaller companies or mom-and-pop operations using flowcharts for their operations. Documenting best practices and using these things can make you look really good when all of sudden the business is slammed and - WOW! you've just onboarded and trained 3 new people in a day or two to do the jobs you need them to do. Thinking of contingencies is sometimes less present on programmers' minds, but something sysadmins and infosec people think about a lot (at least if they're willing and able to do their job well).
Moreover, if you work at small companies or startups, operations positions are often ripe for advancement. Small software companies often hire people to do manual QA instead of automating it. If you create the procedural docs to do that and then start to automate, there's often room to wiggle your way into a new position. At the very least, when someone moves up or out, you're in a better position.

Working on tangential skills can make you into a better programmer

Soft skills are something we all know and talk about. Networking is something we all know and talk about. These kinds of things can really help convey the kind of person you are. Hopefully through studying programming, you show yourself to be more methodical, organized, and explicit in the real world things you do. These are all things that you learn in programming that make you better at things in your life (to a point, of course).
It does work the other way around! Learning how to analyze line work can help you think of pipelines more easily. Thinking of group organization can help with data models. Understanding how teams work well can help you organize an API. I watch tons of woodworking and metalworking videos by weekend hobbyists. Even if it's something completely different, I often find that my mind will come upon a good solution to a problem I'm stuck on. Take your inspiration everywhere you find it.

Thinking outside of the "concept" box, but staying within the "propriety" box is the sweet spot

Lastly, in real life I'm often told that I'm a genuinely nice guy and very memorable. I wasn't always this way! I worked hard to remember some very basic things.
I know many of you will disagree with some of my points. If you do, I'm sure we can learn from that conversation.
I know many of you will point out that a lot of this is common sense. It is, or can be, but sometimes you don't realize something unless it's placed, plainly, in front of you.
I also know that my story is different, and you may have more struggles. I've been lucky. That being said, I do believe that I was either prepared enough to recognize the luck and take advantage, or did my best to make the most of the luck when it came up. I hope the above can help someone somewhere do the same.
submitted by jivanyatra to learnprogramming [link] [comments]


2020.08.09 17:00 ayanamidreamsequence Review - Game 6 (2005) - contains spoilers

Please note - the summary and discussion below both contain plot spoilers.
After reading the article on the DeLillo-penned film Game 6 I linked to a while ago, I figured it might be fun to rewatch it, as I hadn’t seen it for 10 years or so. It remains the only film to have been written by Don DeLillo.
I couldn’t find it online (not available to stream, as the article notes, and inactive trackers online made it hard to download a legally dubious copy--the only one that worked was a Russian dub). So I ended up buying a copy of the DVD, which was available. It was the Polish version, for whatever reason--are films about theatre writers/Red Sox fans big in Poland or something?--but that was only the language of the DVD case and subs--the film itself was still in English.
I then had to wait until I got somewhere with a DVD player, as I don't own a TV or a device that can play DVDs anymore. Eventually I did, and although the picture quality left something to be desired (not full screen/framed by a black border (?), and it lagged a bit) I finally managed to actually watch it again.
Set in NYC, Game 6 stars Michael Keaton as Nicky Rogan, and Robert Downey Jr. as Steven Schwimmer. It remains the only film to have been written by Don DeLillo.
Summary
Rogan is a Red Sox obsessed theatre writer whose new play is about to debut; Schwimmer is an up and coming theatre critic, much feared for reviews, billed as ‘the phantom who haunts Broadway’ due to his working incognito.
The film opens on the morning of Saturday October 26, 1986--the date of Game 6 of the World Series between the Red Sox and the Mets at Shea Stadium. It shows Nicky going about his day as he rises and heads into the city. He bumps into his teenage daughter, who tells him his wife is seeing divorce lawyers. He goes and sleeps with his producer, who tells him his leading actor has a brain parasite which is ‘eating’ all his new memories (including his lines), and warns him about Steven Schwimmer. He reveals he is planning to skip opening night to watch Game 6 instead.
He bumps into Elliott, a friend/colleague, who saw Rogan’s play preview the previous night (“small but important”). Rogan notes “you’re an artist, I’m a craftsman” when talking about his work, something he later returns to when suggesting he doesn’t care about reviews. They are forced into a restaurant when they abandon a cab they are taking. Elliott warns Rogan of Schwimmer’s forthcoming review of his play--noting he himself obsesses over a pan of a small, obscure, one-off play of his.
He heads over to the theatre with a waitress from the restaurant (who is also an actress who performed in Elliott's panned play), where his Director is struggling with the lead actor, who Rogan speaks to about his problem. The line in particular that triggers it, “this could be it”, is was heard at the start of film and is subsequently repeated throughout. As he leaves, the actress (who we find out is having a relationship with Schwimmer) tells him he wears a disguise and “goes to the theatre armed” to protect himself due to his reviews. She then goes to see Schwimmer to speak to him about his reviews and the trouble they are causing. He tells her, in explaining his situation, “people who write the truth are the outcasts of society...the truth is never gentle”.
Rogan goes to see his father, and reminisces on growing up in the small apartment his father still lives in. He suggests they watch the game together, but his father declines, saying they are going to lose. Rogan asks “what good is heartbreak if you can’t experience it first hand”. Rogan mentions his fears about the review to his father--in particular as the play is “about us. Who we are. Where we come from”. His father responds “what are you going to do about it” and suggests he “show him who we are”, referring to Schwimmer.
Rogan meets Elliott again when having a haircut, and mentions that Schwimmer carries a gun. Elliott (and the hairdresser) suggest he obtains one, and the hairdresser leaves a gun for him to take. Elliott suggests that he “shoot him Nicky. The American theatre doesn’t need people like that”. He also lets Rogan know where Steven lives. Rogan departs, taking the gun.
That evening, taking a cab, Rogan speaks to the driver, called Toyota, who has her grandson with her. She recognises him, but thinks he is “Frankie Lazaro, the gangster from Brooklyn” (he plays along). They go to a restaurant together so he can watch the game and they can have dinner. They discuss his circumstances and life (still thinking he is a mobster) and the game itself and his fandom. His ex-wife comes to the bar looking for him, to confirm she has a divorce lawyer. He makes a half-hearted attempt to reconcile, but admits to her his infidelities. She departs, suggesting he gets a “coffee, haircut and a lawyer”. Back at the table, Toyota tries to get him to say that “life is good…people are dependable”. We see what seems to be the final play of the inning, tying the game.
The film cuts between this scene and the preparations for and staging of the play, including the lead seemingly forgetting his lines as Rogan’s daughter and Schwimmer sit watching, and then Schwimmer writing his review in a nearly empty theatre where Rogan’s daughter remains, listening to the game on headphones.
Rogan goes to the toilet, thinking the series is over, and gets into a fight with two Mets fans when they tell him the Red Sox lost game 6. As he exits and looks again at the screen, he realises they were correct. On the television we see the game, then cut to visions of his earlier conversations with Elliott and his father (“show him who we are..shoot him, Nicky...the American theatre doesn’t need people like that”). He departs the bar to find Schwimmer at his apartment. Meanwhile, Swimmer is seducing Rogan’s daughter, not revealing who he really is.
Rogan enters the apartment, finding his daughter. He searches around the apartment, firing his gun. We then find out that Schwimmer is also a Red Sox fan, who also “can’t bear to watch. When they lose, I die inside”. Describes his feeling as “pity and terror”. Bonded via their fandom, Rogan asks him what he thought of the play. Schwimmer admits the play is his best, and has seen it twice--in part as the main actor’s “pauses were exquisitely timed”.
The film ends with Nicky and his daughter in a cab, presumably heading home. Nicky is driving, with his daughter next to him, while the driver sits alone in the back seat.
Discussion
This is a film about fear, disappointment and curses. It manages a balance of levity and humour, but with an underlying mood of menace and doom. As a result, it most closely resembles White Noise, and perhaps Valparaiso, in tone. The dialogue is recognisable as DeLillo (or DeLilloesque).
The film starts with a monologue, in the guise of an ominous ‘traffic report’ from “Lone Eagle”, and is worth quoting in full:
Another day of traffic, traffic everywhere I look. People sit at the wheel, thinking their thoughts. Day in, day out. Red light, green light. Traffic on the major arteries, and traffic in the little veins. Cars. Vans. Taxis. Trucks. Twelve hours to game time. There’s something you can’t bear to face. Is there a medication you can count on? Does it prevent history from happening? Limos. Mopeds. Bikes and Busses. A menace looming in your life. Accident here. Gridlock there. Something washing slowly over you down the years. Through the decades. Birth. Death. Walk, don’t walk. Store this medication at room temperature. Continue to take this medication even if you are feeling well. But when do you ever feel well? Traffic yesterday, today and tomorrow. Bumper to bumper. Soul to soul. This is Lone Eagle, over and out.
We get a similar, though slightly less downbeat version over the final scene of the film, as well as shorter versions scattered throughout the film.
Throughout the film Nicky is described as afraid or fearful. He brushes this off, and tries to position himself in a place where he doesn’t care, eg as a ‘craftsman’ rather than an artist. This culminates in his feelings about his critical importance (or not), and fear of Stephen Schwimmer and his upcoming review. Rogan is famous enough to be recognised from time to time during the film, a reputation is new play is meant to bolster. His previous work, mentioned a few times in the film by various characters (often strangers), includes Yessiree Bob, which sounds frivolous and unimportant. This new play is also more personal, and he fears that a poor review will be an attack upon who he is and where he came from. Tied to this is the fear that his lead actor will forget his lines.
This is mirrored by the Red Sox, who are particularly ripe for this comparison due to the supposed curse they were under. Rogan, as a lifelong fan, repeatedly mentions that he carries this around with him as well, as does Schwimmer. There is a masochistic element to this, as it becomes something of a jinx on both the fans and players as they bend to its seeming inevitability. While watching the game and talking to Toyota she tells him “you want to lose, it’s too hard for you to believe in something...you are afraid to risk believing”. The idea that losing is an art, and one more difficult to master than winning, is repeated throughout the film.
Hanging over the film is also Rogan’s fear of his impending divorce, and what this might mean for his family life. We hear about his apartment in NYC, but also his home in Connecticut--and repeated references to the fact that his wife has a high powered lawyer who will leave him without anything. But more significantly, it brings about the fear that he may be losing his connection with his daughter, who at the start of the film feels unhappy with this handling of events and treatment of her mother.
Other characters face their own fears. Steven’s fear of recognition for the nature of his work and the reactions he may in fact from his reviews are why he wears disguises and goes to the theatre armed. Steven says “each of us lives in the thinnest possible wrappings of wishes, and dreams. And truth is the force that penetrates this wispy skin. It hurts and it maims”.
Elliott’s poor review follows him like a curse. He cannot write without thinking of it, and this obsession over it leads to his artistic and social decline. This is clearly a mirror of the curse that the Red Sox themselves carry, as well as a possible foreshadowing of what might happen to Nicky, despite his stated indifference to such things.
A motif of the film is that Nicky is hopping in and out of cabs, mostly older style Checker cabs. No idea if they were this prominent still in the mid 1980s, but here is an article on when they stopped as service cabs in the late 90s. They lend the film a slightly mythic, dreamlike quality, as they all look newly restored and contrast against the square yellow cabs we usually see in films like this--and the generally dirty background shots of the city.
As he journeys in these various taxis he speaks to the drivers about his former work, and theirs., all moments ripe for DeLillo’s dialogue and observation. He says to one “I used to drive a taxi. I ate and I drove. Sandwiches wrapped in tinfoil”. Another driver mentions being in a traffic jam for the last five years (“since I arrived”); another tells Nicky he was a brain surgeon back home (in the USSR), who “opened thousands of brains”. When asked what was inside, he says only a “big mess, every time”; another was a barrister in Kenya. They all seem to represent the reverse journey Nicky took from taxi driver to playwright, but have done so by coming to America. We may see this as an indictment of the American dream and the promises of success it is meant to represent.
There are a number of scenes that recall White Noise, as mentioned before perhaps the novel that is closest in feel to this film. Early on Rogan and Eliot are forced to abandon a cab ride due to a steam pipe leak in the street, which may contain toxic air. We later see a few shots of men in masks and white hazard suits cleaning up the mess (with the street covered in grey dust, surely meant to also be reminiscent of 11 September).
Speaking to one of the drivers, he mentions only taking breaks to pee when he was a taxi driver. “Peeing under the Manhattan bridge. Pee in parks, empty playgrounds, parking lots”. This is reminiscent of a conversation about peeing in sinks around the US in Amazons, and which is then repeated in White Noise. Is this a DeLillo trope--can anyone think of other instances? (pissing in sinks across America in particular, I suppose, as it struck me having now jumped out three times).
As mentioned we also get a character named Toyota, which may be another callout to White Noise and his daughter Steffie saying ‘Toyota Celica’ in her sleep.
*
Overall I enjoyed the movie. It has some pretty big names, though perhaps at the time they were not as popular as they once had been/were to become again. I thought it was well cast, and RDJr’s performance in particular reminded me a bit of his earlier turn as an agent in the film Wonder Boys (another worth checking out if you have not seen it, based on the Chabon book which is also pretty good).
Having said that, as you might expect from a film that was made with limited funds, it has the feel of a lower budget independent film, and there are times when it lacks a bit of the sleek styling you would have had from a bigger budget. The plot sometimes moves in a direction that is a bit silly (not convinced by the central pivot of the film, where Nicky gets the gun from the barber), and the ending is a little too obvious to make it really interesting.
The DVD contained a short ‘Behind the Scenes” feature, which talked about the making of the film, which was done relatively quickly. So while I am not surprised it wasn’t a massive success, it is a shame that it hasn’t yet seemed to have found a second life as a cult classic. I suppose that may still happen, particularly if it does get a digital restoration.
It is probably really only a film worth seeking out for the DeLillo completist--one you have read his novels, and then the plays, it is a next logical step. But otherwise it is a hard film to position--it feels like it could be a sports film, and is, but isn’t (eg not enough actual sport). It circles around family, but isn’t about that as such. As is common in DeLillo, it is about a somewhat isolated protagonist making their way through a series of struggles more existential than external. It may not be wholly successful, but I found it enjoyable to watch, and to pick apart/write about.

Some more lines of dialogue I jotted down as they jumped out at me, but I didn’t end up using above:
“If lawyers for the mob are called controversial, why are divorce lawyers called prominent?”
“He reviewed that one act I did at Fulton Fish Market. We did this play at four in the morning. Outdoors. In the rain. One performance. For fish handlers.”
“I heard he got the parasite in Burma”. “I heard Borneo”. “Why do we blame the third world for our parasites? Maybe he got it in Denver or Minneapolis.”
“I called the sports phone from Lhasa, Tibet, freezing in my little rented Fiat, with sheep on the hillside, rocky debris dating back millions and millions of years from the time the Himalayas thrust up as the plates of India and Asia collided. Red Sox three, White Sox two, Buckner drives the winning run”.

Further info/links
submitted by ayanamidreamsequence to DonDeLillo [link] [comments]


2020.07.30 01:00 LearningIsListening A not-so-brief rundown of the letter ‘R’ in Jeffrey Epstein's 'Little Black Book'

Below is a rundown of the letter ‘R’ under Epstein's contacts. Last year, I wrote about letters A-C. You can check that out here (https://www.reddit.com/conspiracy/comments/cpis3n/a_brief_rundown_of_the_first_ten_pages_of_jeffrey/).
I also wrote about letters D-F on July 5, 2020. You can check that out here (https://www.reddit.com/conspiracy/comments/hlrba8/a_notsobrief_rundown_of_letters_df_in_jeffrey/).
I posted letters G-I on July 13, 2020. You can check that out here (https://www.reddit.com/conspiracy/comments/hqko0y/a_notsobrief_rundown_of_letters_gi_in_jeffrey/).
I posted letters J-L on July 15, 2020. You can check that out here (https://www.reddit.com/conspiracy/comments/hrq9bg/a_notsobrief_rundown_of_letters_jl_of_jeffrey/).
I posted letter M on July 20, 2020. You can check that out here (https://www.reddit.com/conspiracy/comments/huw0yt/a_notsobrief_rundown_of_the_letter_m_in_jeffrey/).
I posted letters N-Q on July 27, 2020. You can check that out here (https://www.reddit.com/conspiracy/comments/hyudbz/a_notsobrief_rundown_of_the_letters_nq_in_jeffrey/). There are some misspelled names. Epstein entered their names like this.
I have bolded some of the more interesting connections and information, but there could be much more that I overlooked. I hope something here strikes an interest in someone and maybe we can get more investigations out of this. Please, if you know anything more about any of these people than what is presented here, post below. I am working off of the unredacted black book found here: https://www.coreysdigs.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Jeffrey-Epsteins-Little-Black-Book-unredacted.pdf
R
Rachline, Nicholas: Best friend of Harvey Weinstein for over 30 years (https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/champs-elysees-film-festival-harvey-weinstein-334309), Rachline is a photographer. Rachline was also editor-in-chief of Above, a magazine dedicated to environmental protection, until its final issue a few years later. Contributors to the magazine included David de Rothschild, Robert F. Kennedy Jr, Richard Branson, and other well-known figures. The biannual magazine was distributed by Conde Nast, which also owns Tatler, Vogue, Glamour, GQ, Vanity Fair, The New Yorker, and other influential publications. Jeffrey Epstein’s connections to Conde Nast publications - specifically Tatler and Vogue - continues to grow.
Radziwill, Carole: Journalist for ABC News who also wrote a monthly column for Glamour (owned by Conde Nast). Carole was on the Real Housewives of New York City for 6 seasons. Carole was a good friend of Ghislaine Maxwell’s in the early 2000s. Maxwell even set her up with Prince Andrew after Carole’s husband, Prince Anthony Radziwill, died of cancer in 1999 (https://www.nickiswift.com/224731/the-truth-about-carole-radziwill-ghislaine-maxwell/). Radziwill was the nephew of Jacqueline Kennedy (JFK’s wife) and son of Polish Prince Stanislaw Albrecht Radziwill. He also served as best man at JFK Jr.’s wedding. There are several pictures of Carole and Ghislaine circulating which forced her to make a statement regarding her relationship with Maxwell and Epstein, whom she says she only met once.
Rankin, Mr Gavin: The former Europe, Middle East, and Asia (EMEA) head of managed investments for Citi Private Bank. Now works for HSBC in a similar position. Has ties to the Royal Family. His restaurant, Bellamy’s, is the “only restaurant where the Monarch has ever dined at (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3504185/The-Queen-goes-dinner-Bellamy-s-restaurant.html).” The Queen even celebrated her 80th birthday there. Looking at the menu prices, it seems an odd choice considering it’s not some super high-end eatery. Rankin is also the heir apparent to the Rankin Baronetcy.
Rappaport, Don: Co-founder and CEO of American List Counsel (ALC). The ALC tried to sell personal information on one-million kids (ages 14-17), along with their parents’ names, household incomes, and ethnicities to advertising companies (https://www.mcall.com/news/breaking/mc-nws-data-broker-personal-info-20190319-story.html) just last year. In other words, Mr. Rappaport runs a company that collects data on children and sells this information to whomever is willing to buy it. Who else is Rappaport sharing this information with?
Rattazzi, Isabel: Former model. Isabel is a Countess through her marriage to Lupo dei Conti Rattazzi. Her husband is the son of Susanna Agnelli, former Minister of Foreign Affairs and Member of Parliament in Italy. The Agnelli family are controlling shareholders of Fiat Automobiles.
Raynes, Patty: Daughter of billionaire oil and entertainment mogul, Marvin Davis (1925-2004). Patty is a well-known socialite in the Hamptons. Raynes hung out in the same circles as Ghislaine and Epstein. Her husband is a real estate developer.
Reardan, Kate: Editor of Tatler (another Tatler connection!) magazine from 2011-2017. Previously worked for Vanity Fair, another Conde Nast publication. Reardon was named one of London’s 1000 Most Influential People by the Evening Standard in 2007. She once dated Rupert Fairfax, aide to Prince Charles.
Reynal Michael: International investment banker.
Reynal, Miguel: There are a few Miguel Reynals. I believe it is the investment banker who once worked for Deutsche Bank because of the connection between Epstein and Deutsche Bank.
Reza, Ali: Founder of aviation company Freestream Aircraft Limited. Routinely deals with the wealthy and powerful (https://www.cnbc.com/2018/05/11/sanctioned-russian-tycoon-hands-back-his-private-jets.html).
Ritblat, Nick Rebecca Willis: Nick is the son of John Ritblat, the former Chairman and CEO of British Land, one of the largest property development and investment companies in the UK. Nick has followed in his father’s footsteps, as he is also in the property development game.
Ritson Thomas Rupert: Descendent of James Bond author, Ian Fleming (https://www.henleystandard.co.uk/news/community/136373/james-bond-authors-descendents-win-1-2-million-claim-on-school-land.html). Attends parties with royalty (https://www.tatler.com/gallery/royal-ascot-2000). Brother of famous photographer, Hugo Rittson-Thomas, who supports The National Deaf Children’s Society.
Rivers, Joan (and Melissa Rivers): Joan was a very popular comedian and actress who died in 2014 during surgery. Many think she was murdered because of her comments about Michelle Obama’s gender. Joan was friends with Ghislaine Maxwell and knew her since at least the early ‘90s (https://www.salon.com/2019/07/09/i-was-a-friend-of-jeffrey-epstein-heres-what-i-know/). Joan was also good friends with Prince Charles and had a tight relationship with the Royal Family, as she often attended Royal events (https://www.biography.com/news/joan-rivers-prince-charles-friendship). Melissa is her daughter. She has no discernible talent whatsoever.
Robert, Joseph & Jill: Joseph E. Robert Jr. was an international real estate investor. Robert was known for his philanthropy. He donated $25 million (and raised $150 million more) to finance research on reducing the pain that children experience during surgery. He has been credited with raising nearly $1 billion for children’s charities ((https://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/09/business/joseph-e-robert-jr-investor-in-real-estate-dies-at-59.html). Robert founded Fight for Children, a charity meant to support at-risk children in Washington D.C. (https://www.fightforchildren.org/joseph-e-robert-j). Robert also donated a lot of money to Children’s National Hospital (https://www.bizjournals.com/washington/news/2019/10/24/here-s-what-children-s-national-is-bringing-to-the.html), which has scholarships named in his honor. He died of brain cancer in 2011. Jill was his wife.
Roberts, Deb: 99% sure this is the TV journalist for ABC News and wife of famous weatherman/TV personality Al Roker.
Robilant, Mr Edmondo di Maya: Edmondo is a fine art dealer. His wife, Maya, is a University lecturer, journalist, and television presenter.
Robin: Robin DeMetz is a personal friend of Epstein pal/alleged accomplice Naomi Campbell (https://www.nytimes.com/2003/04/30/nyregion/boldface-names-482374.html). She is married to Hasz DeMetz, who is in the diamond mining business.
Robinski, Kasia/Pod: Kasia is an investor and serves as director for several companies. No clue who/what Pod refers to.
Robinson, Jo & Lisa Shields: Lisa is the Vice President of Global Communications and Media Relations for the Council on Foreign Relations, where Epstein used to serve. No info on Joe, although I believe he is the gentleman on the left in this picture (https://www.patrickmcmullan.com/photo/0361960).
Rocksavage, David: The 7th Marquess of Cholmondeley and the Lord Great Chamberlain of the UK. He is a descendant of the Rothschild and Sassoon families through his grandmother, Sybil Sassoon. He is also the descendant of Britain’s first Prime Minister, Sir Robert Walpole. The Marquess doesn’t keep the best company. The Godfather of his twins bilked L’Oreal heiress, Liliane Bettencourt, out of £850 million in 2010 https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1295083/L-Oreal-fraud-suspect-Marquess.html). He was convicted of ‘abuse of weakness’ in 2016. Rocksavage’s wife, Rose Hanbury, is the Marchioness of Cholmondeley. She is a patron of East Anglia’s Children’s Hospices (EACH) along with Kate Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge, and other royalty. Last year, there were rumors that Rose Hanbury had an affair with Prince William, Prince Charles’s eldest son and husband of Kate Middleton (https://news.yahoo.com/6-things-know-rose-hanbury-164552520.html).
Roedy, Bill: Former Vice President at HBO, former head honcho at MTV Europe, and Global Health Advisor. In 2018, Roedy was named Vice Chair of Gavi, The Vaccine Alliance (https://www.gavi.org/gavi-board-appoints-bill-roedy-as-vice-chair), which was founded in 2000 by… the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation (https://www.gavi.org/our-alliance/about)! Roedy not only serves on the Council on Foreign Relations just like Epstein once did (Epstein preceded Roedy), but he also had connections to Robert Maxwell, Ghislaine’s father.
Rolfe, Gail: Freelance journalist and fashion editor who once worked for Tatler (again) and The Times (https://www.hachette.com.au/gail-rolfe/).
Ronson, Lisa: Gerald Ronson’s daughter (see below).
Ronson, Mr & Mrs Gerald: British furniture and property development tycoon. Gerald is a big-time philanthropist. In addition to the number of Jewish groups he gives money to, Ronson also serves as Vice President of the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC). a children’s charity that several others in Epstein’s ‘black book’ (Jemma Kidd, Tim Jeffries, Mary Glanville, Clare Hazell-Ivaegh, Ben Holland-Martin, Manilo Marocco) and Princess Margaret have served. The number of suspected pedophiles and child traffickers that are involved with the NSPCC is mindblowing. As if that weren’t enough, Gerald was also good friends with Greville Janner, ex-Leicester MP who was constantly accused of child abuse before his death, but was able to evade culpability due to police constantly bungling the evidence (https://www.leicestermercury.co.uk/news/leicester-news/ex-leicester-mp-greville-janner-3869479). Gerald’s wife, Gail, is also a philanthropist of Jewish charities. Her first big event in 1983 was attended by Prince Charles and Princess Diana.
Rose, Wendy & Joe: Now divorced, Wendi and Joe are both real estate magnates in New York. Joe worked for Mayor Giuliani from 1993-2001.
Rose, Charlie & Burden, Amanda: Charlie Rose is a (former) famous television journalist who hosted the eponymous talk show, Charlie Rose. Jeffrey Epstein and Charlie Rose were thick as thieves. In fact, Epstein (and his assistant) called Rose many times and would recommend potential young assistants for Charlie Rose to hire (https://nymag.com/intelligence2019/07/jeffrey-epstein-high-society-contacts.html). Epstein frequently lunched with and attended parties with Rose. Rose’s show was cancelled in 2017 when eight women came out and accused him of sexual harassment (https://www.washingtonpost.com/investigations/eight-women-say-charlie-rose-sexually-harassed-them--with-nudity-groping-and-lewd-calls/2017/11/20/9b168de8-caec-11e7-8321-481fd63f174d_story.html). Since then, 27 more women have accused Charlie Rose of sexual harassment (https://www.vulture.com/2018/05/charlie-rose-27-women-new-accusers-sexual-harassment.html), bringing the grand total to 35. Rose also served on the Council on Foreign Relations, although I am unable to find out if his time there coincided with Epstein’s. Charlie’s former love interest, Amanda, has worked for Bloomberg since 2002, first as director of the New York City Department of City Planning, then as chair of the City Planning Commission, and now as a principal at Bloomberg Associates, a consulting service.
Rosen, Andrew: Fashion designer.
Rosen, Denis & Sylvia: Dennis was a well-respected British scientist. Sylvia was his wife and co-writer of London Science.
Rosencrantz, Ms Claudia: British television executive and journalist. She was Controller of Entertainment for ITV for over ten years. Voted one of Britain’s 50 most inspirational women in 2018 by the Daily Mail.
Rosenfield, Donald: Movie producer. Former President of Merchant Ivory Productions from 1986-1998.
Rosenstein, Rob: Co-founder of Agoda. Similar to Expedia, Orbitz, Priceline, etc, Agoda provides its users with information on flights and hotels
Rosenthal, Jane: Co-founder of the Tribeca Film Festival and Tribeca Productions film studio with Robert De Niro. Good friend of Ghislaine Maxwell (https://www.barefootpalmbeach.com/post/epstein) and Peggy Siegal (https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/jane-rosenthal-and-peggy-siegal-attend-lunch-in-honor-of-news-photo/591348640), Epstein’s plug into New York celebrity society.
Roth, Peter Thomas & Noreen: Peter Thomas Roth is the founder of the skin care and cosmetics company that bears his name. Roth graduated from Dalton school in 1975, where Epstein taught him during his senior year. Roth has lauded Epstein as a “brilliant teacher.” Epstein later served Roth’s tutor to prepare him for the Wharton School at Penn (http://www.virginislandsdailynews.com/ap/how-epstein-went-from-teaching-to-wall-street/article_59c0234e-cf7d-59c3-96a7-bb8a04dacaa8.html). Roth admits to going to Epstein’s mansion once, although he says only middle-aged people were present (https://www.nytimes.com/2019/07/12/nyregion/jeffrey-epstein-dalton-teacher.html). This story would be more plausible if Epstein didn’t have eight phone numbers, two addresses, and an email address listed under Roth’s name. It would also be more believable if they didn’t live two blocks away from each other in NYC. Noreen is Peter’s ex-wife. She serves as Managing Director of his company.
Rothchild, Jessica: Actually Jessica de Rothschild, daughter of billionaire financier Sir Evelyn de Rothschild (https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/prince-charles-prince-of-wales-speaks-with-with-sir-evelyn-news-photo/467631086?adppopup=true) and Lynn Forester de Rothschild, close friend of Hillary Clinton. Jessica used to be a writer for Tatler magazine, which Epstein is deeply connected to through his contacts. Runs in the same circles as Epstein and Maxwell.
Rothchild, Hannah: The eldest child of Jacob Rothschild (https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/lord-jacob-rothschild-attends-the-launch-of-the-stella-news-photo/972453692?adppopup=true), Hannah is a businesswoman and was the first female Chair of the Board of Trustees of the National Gallery in London. In 2018, Hannah took over as Chair of Yad Hanadiv (https://www.yadhanadiv.org.il/about-yad-hanadiv), a pro-Israel Rothschild organization/charity which has been running in its current form since 1958. The actual history dates back to the late 1800s when Baron Edmond de Rothschild sought to “support Jewish revival in Palestine.” Yad Hanadiv is responsible for building the Knesset (Israeli parliament), the Supreme Court, and is currently working on the New National Library in Israel. Hannah is also a Trustee of the Rothschild Foundation, which has been a long-time patron of… the NSPCC children’s charity (https://www.nspcc.org.uk/globalassets/documents/annual-reports/nspcc-annual-report-2006.pdf), where countless other suspected pedophiles and pedophile sympathizers find themselves orbiting.
Rothenburg, Rich: Former portfolio manager and researcher at Deutsche Bank, which was recently fined $150 million for ignoring Epstein’s suspicious transactions (https://www.cnn.com/2020/07/07/business/jeffrey-epstein-deutsche-bank-fine/index.html).
Rotherwick, Tania & Robin: Tania is an old friend of Ghislaine Maxwell (https://www.tatler.com/article/where-on-earth-is-ghislaine-maxwell) and ex-girlfriend of Prince Andrew. She is also the sister-in-law of Mark Carney, who served as the Governor of the Bank of England from 2013-2020. Her ex-husband, Robin Cayzer, is the 3rd Baron Rotherwick. He has served in the House of Lords since 1996.
Rothschild, Edouard de: Son of Guy de Rothschild, who was the great-great-grandson of Mayer Amschel Rothschild, the person responsible for founding the family’s banking empire in the 18th century. Edouard was head of the family’s Paris-based Rothschild & Cie Banque from 1987-2004, when he stepped down.
Rothschild, Evelyn de: Businessman and banker supposedly worth $20 billion, although many think it’s actually a lot more. In addition to poking Prince Charles (https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/prince-charles-prince-of-wales-speaks-with-with-sir-evelyn-news-photo/467631086?adppopup=true), Evelyn has also asserted his dominance of many companies and corporations by acting as Chairman or Director of The Economist (1972-1989), De Beers (1977-1994), IBM, and many others. Evelyn has served as Queen Elizabeth II’s financial advisor for decades (https://www.jewoftheweek.net/2017/11/29/jews-of-the-week-evelyn-de-rothschild-jacob-rothschild/). Evelyn’s wife, Lynn Forester de Rothschild, was completely enamored with Epstein. Before his death, Epstein claimed that he loaned Lynn money when she was going through a divorce in the early ‘90s, before she became a Rothschild (https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2019/08/the-mystery-of-ghislaine-maxwell-epstein-enabler). Lynn was responsible for setting up an introduction between Epstein and Bill Clinton in 1995 (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8362601/Bill-Clinton-confessed-Jeffrey-Epstein-slept-Monica-Lewinsky.html). Alan Dershowitz wrote an essay earlier this month where he opens by saying that he was introduced to Ghislaine Maxwell by Evelyn and Lynn de Rothschild (https://spectator.us/ghislaine-maxwell-know-jeffrey-epstein-alan-dershowitz/). Ghislaine lived in a NYC townhouse that Lynn (allegedly) sold to one of Epstein’s companies for more than $8 million below market value (https://www.businessinsider.com/ghislaine-maxwell-jeffrey-epstein-father-real-estate-assets-foundation-2019-8#until-2016-maxwell-lived-in-a-5-million-new-york-townhouse-bought-by-a-company-with-the-same-address-as-epsteins-business-office-10). While it is widely believed that Ghislaine introduced Epstein to Prince Andrew, there are conflicting accounts that claim that Lynn was the one who introduced the two (https://nypost.com/2020/07/11/ghislaine-maxwell-didnt-introduce-epstein-to-prince-andrew-pal/). The Rothschilds are also extremely close with the Clintons. They even spent part of their honeymoon in the White House during Bill’s presidency back in 2000 (https://www.politico.eu/article/economist-magazine-shareholders-british-commerce-rothschild/). They remain close to this day, as both Evelyn and Lynn have donated and contributed heavily to Hillary’s past campaigns.
Roumugere, Caroline: Carolyn is a jeweller who makes unique pieces inspired by her upbringing in Kenya (http://www.carolynroumeguere.com/about). Her father was a close friend of artist Salvador Dali.
Royle, Hon Lucinda: Wife of Rupert Ponsonby, 7th Baron de Mauley, a British politician. Daughter of Anthony Royle, Baron Fanshawe of Richmond, a Member of Parliament for Richmond, Surrey (1959-1983) and businessman. Royle coincidentally stepped down as MP shortly after the Elm Guest House scandal (https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/elm-guest-house-abuse-scandal-1857494) became known to the public. It turns out that British politicians and other high-ranking members of society were sexually abusing children. All of this happened in Richmond, where Royle served as MP. Of course, nobody has been charged. Oh yeah, the owner of Elm Guest House, Carole Kasir, who supposedly kept a list of Elm Guest House attendees, died under murky circumstances (https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/secret-files-prove-carole-kasir-11506791). Anthony Royle also famously sided with Michael Heseltine over Margaret Thatcher during the 1985 Westland Affair. Heseltine appeared earlier in the black book (check out the G-I thread for more info). Heseltine invested in Conservative Parliament member Harvey Proctor’s business after Proctor was forced to resign after it was revealed he had sexual relationships with and took nude pictures of male prostitutes aged 17-21 at his home (https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/members-interests-top-tories-lose-on-proctors-shop-the-retailer-1445666.html). At the time, it was illegal to have same-sex relations with prostitutes under the age of 21.
Rucellai, Natalie: PR specialist for Rocco Forte Hotels. Used to do PR for Giorgio Armani. The Rucellai family married into the Medici family in 1461. Although the Rucellais are not a Black Nobility family, the Medici family certainly is.
Rudnick, Della: This is actually Della Rounick, the former CEO of the fashion company HE-RO Group. She is now an artist and sculptor.
Russel, Michelle: A senior executive in asset management.
Rust, Marina & Ian: Marina is a former contributing editor at Vogue (again) magazine. She is the granddaughter of Marshall Field III, an investment banker and heir to the Marshall Field department store fortune. Rust often attended the same parties as Ghislaine Maxwell. She is photographed here with Ghislaine, Tom Ford, and Countess Sally Albemarle (https://www.patrickmcmullan.com/photo/0010136), all of whom are in Epstein’s black book. She is also friends with Lauren du Pont of the billionaire family (https://www.newyorksocialdiary.com/traveling-down-memory-lane/). Her husband, Ian Connor is an investment banker at Lazard Freres, a bank that has repeatedly come up during research of Epstein’s contacts. Marina and Ian literally live around the block from Epstein’s NYC mansion.
Rustow, Tim: Uncertain, but my best guess would be the portfolio manager who is the son of Dankwart Rustow, a famous expert in political science and sociology, and brother of historian Marina Rustow.
Rutland Duke and Duchess: David Manners, the 11th Duke of Rutland, is the owner of Belvoir Castle. His wife, Emma Manners (nee Watkins), the Duchess of Rutland, is pictured here in front of the castle (https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/emma-manner-duchess-of-rutland-during-the-launch-event-for-news-photo/1206547435?adppopup=true), enjoying her afternoon tea. She runs the commercial activities at Belvoir Castle. Manners has been (allegedly) entangled with Ghislaine Maxwell since the 1980s.
Now for the controversial stuff. The Duke and Duchess hired former MP Harvey Proctor in 2003 to be their private secretary. Proctor is a disgraced MP who was forced to resign in 1987 after it was revealed that he had sexual relationships with and took nude pictures of male prostitutes aged 17-21 at his home (source: https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/members-interests-top-tories-lose-on-proctors-shop-the-retailer-1445666.html). At the time, it was illegal to have same-sex relations with prostitutes under the age of 21. There is a wonderful and brief expose here (https://theneedleblog.wordpress.com/2015/01/09/blackmail-the-maxwells-harvey-proctor-and-the-marquis-of-granby/) that builds a strong relationship between Proctor, Manners, and Ghislaine Maxwell, and explains why Manners would hire a disgraced pedophile as his personal secretary, which I will quickly sum up: Robert Maxwell’s newspapers were publishing damaging pieces on Harvey Proctor in 1986, when allegations of his sexual improprieties first started to leak. A threat was made by a caller who said if Maxwell continued running these stories on Proctor, they would reveal that Maxwell’s daughter, Ghislaine, was having an affair with the “son of a Duke.” This would be David Manners, who was not yet Duke of Rutland since his father (the 10th Duke of Rutland) was still alive. Manners dismissed the allegation as “nonsense,” but went on to hire Proctor in 2003, three years after Proctor’s shirtmaking business was liquidated. Some may say that Proctor would have the most to gain by threatening Robert Maxwell back in the ‘80s and that maybe he used that information to find a job with Manners once his shirt business went belly-up. This is all speculation, of course.
Ruttenberg, Eric & Perri: Eric is the co-managing partner at Tinicum, the private investment firm his father founded in 1974. His wife, Perri (nee Peltz), is a former broadcast journalist who worked for NBC, ABC (she worked on the show, 20/20, hosted by pedophile protector and friend of Ghislaine, Barbara Walters), and CNN from 1987-2002. Peltz is a member of the “Tennis Girls” (insert roll eyes emoji), a group that includes Epstein helper Peggy Siegal, Tory Burch, Christina Cuomo (Chris Cuomo’s wife), Ariadne Calvo-Platero, Kitty Sherrill, and Renee Rockefeller (https://pagesix.com/2011/12/23/tough-enough-for-jennet/). Everyone in that group is listed in Epstein’s black book except for Sherrill and Rockefeller. Coincidentally, Perri attended Dalton, the exclusive private high school, in the mid-late ‘70s when Epstein taught there.
Ryder, Mr Nicholas: Uncertain. Some info found but couldn’t confirm either way.
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2020.07.28 00:39 VeryLargeArray Pratt Residence Halls to Remain Closed

Hey guys, just received this email about Fall 2020. I'll just quote it here:
Dear Pratt Community,
Pratt’s senior administration and I have made the difficult, yet what I believe to be most prudent, decision not to reopen the residence halls this fall.
We have made this decision mindful of the current state of COVID-19 globally and after a thorough and extensive assessment of what Pratt is committed to and capable of doing to protect the safety and health of our students, faculty, staff, and our neighboring community.
First and foremost, we have decided that we can provide the safest conditions by keeping the residence halls closed and attending to a much more contained use of campus. At this point, unless local officials decide otherwise, students living within commuting distance of New York City this semester can still have regulated access to campus facilities and to classes offered in hybrid form.
The ways in which we live and study through this pandemic continue to evolve rapidly. This is a moment once again where students and their families must review the options for their course of studies and make wise decisions according to their circumstances. All options will provide the excellent education for which Pratt is renowned. Additional details are provided below.
Planning and Consultation That Led to This Decision Since April, when we assembled the pandemic planning committees, we have assessed academic and operational needs for reopening. We developed a mitigation plan with our in-house experts on health and safety, in partnership with Geosyntec, which includes testing, monitoring, tracing, and disinfecting protocols. We drafted social contracts for our community, consulted with and observed the decisions of local and regional government officials, health experts, and other academic institutions and organizations, and built a robust curriculum with the complex schedule and enhanced technology necessary to support it.
We had anticipated that, by now, virus tests would be widely available, test results would be returned quickly, and that the infection transmission rate would substantially decline. But as we know, this is not the case. While New York City has brought its number of COVID-19 cases down significantly, cases in most of the rest of the country, and in other parts of the world, are continuing to rise and spread rapidly. As of this week, New York State Governor Andrew Cuomo has identified 31 states that meet the requirements for travelers to quarantine for 14 days upon arrival in New York. Additionally, delays in receiving test results severely hamper effective contact tracing, and further increases in these delays are anticipated as more employers and schools require testing, and as more individuals return to regular medical and hospital appointments.
Considering the lack of a uniform national approach to testing and prevention, and mindful of the potential risk of creating our own infection hotspot, our experts have advised us that we could quickly reach the maximum amount of COVID-19 cases on our campus, which would require us to close down the residence halls once again, as we did last spring.
We find that the above circumstances prevent us from meeting the minimum requirements that we established at the outset for ensuring the safety of the residence halls, and we cannot in good conscience put our students, faculty, staff, and neighbors at risk.
The Curriculum and Course of Study Pratt is committed, as always, to delivering a world-class education with our renowned faculty. There are two options for attending Pratt this fall. One is fully online. With the other, roughly 70% of courses will be offered fully online, while 30% will occur in a hybrid format, meeting sometimes online and sometimes in person. These percentages will vary by degree program. Additionally, how much of a hybrid course occurs in person or virtually will vary by the course. More information about the academic curriculum is available online.
All students, whether they join us in New York City or study remotely, will be able to make full-time progress toward their degrees. Pratt's degree programs educate students in a wide range of fields and ensure that students achieve the outcomes specific to their fields. Achieving those outcomes is ultimately what it takes to complete a degree, and there can be more than one path to that end.
This semester we are asking students to do some of their learning online, some of it in a hybrid form. In other semesters, they may do more in-person learning. All of this learning, in all of these modalities, constitutes progress towards completion of a degree.
Overall, the education we offer is as excellent as ever. The form in which we offer it is changing, becoming (of necessity) more flexible, and we are committed to being flexible as we support our students through their years at Pratt and to graduation.
The In-Person Experience While the educational experience and the learning goals achieved will be of the same quality, students and their families must be aware that the overall in-person social experience will be radically different and dramatically constrained in comparison to our previous experiences.
The in-person components of hybrid courses, in order to meet health and safety standards, will involve physical distancing, and limited numbers of students in any given space, with regulated and limited access to specialized equipment and facilities, including studios and labs. We will not be able to offer long stays and unlimited access to studios as we normally would.
Keeping the residence halls closed does not change the academic curriculum that has been developed for the fall. Schools, departments, and individual faculty have been working through the summer to ensure that the fall semester’s course offerings will be of the highest quality in all modes of delivery. No matter where or how our students choose to take courses or access services, they will be supported by our dedicated and distinguished faculty and staff, and the enhanced robust technology needed to learn and create. We are committed to providing an excellent and equitable Pratt educational experience online, as well as safely in hybrid courses where faculty and staff will use campus facilities, albeit in a highly monitored, time-limited, and regulated way.
The registration period that was announced last week remains open and students are still able to change their schedules, as they see fit. Again, students and their families must review the options for their course of studies and make wise decisions according to their circumstances.
For students who decide to shift their study entirely online, we will work with them to ensure that their semester’s work is satisfying and advances their progress toward their degree.
Building Community and Engagement Remotely The staff and faculty at Pratt are also committed to building and strengthening their relationships with students and the relationships between students. Digital services and solutions have been developed to connect students with each other and with their professors and the administrative staff. Individual and group counseling will be widely available to all students, and student clubs and organizations will continue to meet and develop programs online. For students pursuing either the remote or the hybrid option, student services, activities, and engagement will be online. All support services will be easy to access. There will continue to be opportunities for students to engage in campus governance and community dialogue remotely, including Town Halls like the one scheduled for tomorrow evening, Tuesday, July 28, 6:30 to 8 p.m.
Please continue to visit www.pratt.edu/backtopratt for the most up-to-date information and answers to frequently asked questions. The online information includes housing option information for those students intending to reside within commuting distance and pursue a hybrid academic program or access campus facilities; it includes access to counselors, with availability to help our students, including those who are most vulnerable at [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) or online.
Pratt Institute’s Decision We know that this decision presents difficulties and deep disappointments. We are prepared to respond and provide assistance.
Pratt Institute has made its decision to keep the residence halls closed in the best interests of our students, faculty, staff, and neighbors’ health and wellbeing, given the current reality and conditions we are now facing for the coming months. Our decision is based on our own unique capacity and resources. Pratt has asked students, faculty, and staff to commit to a social contract that prioritizes our collective agreement to community health and safety. The Institute is similarly committed to reducing the risk of spreading the virus on campus and beyond.
We are in a pandemic. We are dedicated to providing the highest quality Pratt education during a time that is unprecedented and are asking for your partnership in doing so—to study together, to solve critical problems together, to design our collective future together.
Sincerely,
Frances Bronet
President
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2020.07.20 13:00 Army_Bot Summary For: Weekly Question Thread (7/13 to 7/19)

Anyone in the NYC area? I was reading about a dry cleaner by Fort Hamilton that does a good job on ASUs but I can't find the name of it anywhere
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Hi everyone, I just finished my freshman year of college and I'm an rotc cadet. Ive wanted to be an army ranger for a very long time. After doing a lot of research and reading about the 75th I realized that the odds of becoming one through rotc are very slim.
If I use my rotc scholarship for even a single day of my sophomore year classes then I'll be committed to that path and won't be able to drop out without having to pay the army back. I was just wondering if anyone could give me advice on whether I should continue with rotc and take my chances, or if I should drop out now and try and enlist to go to rasp.
Also any insight on what life for enlisted/officers in the 75th would be really appreciated!!
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I was thinking about Enlisting as a 68c MOS into the reserves. I know the 68c MOS is a practical nursing specialist. So my question is if I joined as a 68c, would that allow me to receive an LPN license through AIT, and can I transfer that license over to another state to work Per Diem while being in the reserves?
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In AIT, got canceled for leaving to my duty station. My orders say July 20th. If I'm not there by then what happens, do the orders change to another date or location? I asked cadre and they said I should be gone before then but they aren't sure
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About to graduate OCS and just received my orders for IBOLC, I need some help understanding the process. We graduate on July 24th but the report date for 199th IN isn't until August 24th. My class start/report date to IBOLC 2-11 IN is April 8th. It states it is a PCS move.
1.) When do I report to 199th after OCS graduation? I am pretty sure I don't get a whole month off do I?
2.) Will 199th house me until I find off post housing?
3.) Will I get the 10 days of PTDY?
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What are the chances of getting deployed, if you’re in the U.S. Army reserves?
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I am about leave for Basic here soon and I am confused as to whether or not I need to make my own copies of my birth/marriage certificate and other documents to bring with me? Or will they provide me with copies that my recruiter put in the system already earlier in the recruiting process, when I ship out?
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A little backstory:
I moved to a different state during the initial outbreak of covid19. This made my recruiter want to continue being my recruiter, but also made me contact a local recruiter to physically sign stuff and go to meps. So I have 2 recruiters that I can to be the in-between for (they apparently can't/won't communicate with each other). Personally, I don't like either of them as recruiters but I just kept going forward.
Question time:
I am shipping to basic on Monday. Neither recruiter has helped me at all to make sure I was ready to go. I called old home recruiter (A) to get some sort of packing list and to verify what paperwork I needed. He said bring nothing but my ID, a debit card, my direct deposit form, and 2 sets of clothes (highly contradicts what the goarmy website says to bring but I'm not that worried). Should I bring more?
Tried to contact new home recruiter (B) all week to figure out when I'm supposed to be going to MEPS/the hotel because I thought I was supposed to stay the night just like I did with the medical exam trip to MEPS. He isn't responding and I'm pretty sure they are closed until Monday. My contract says to be at MEPS at 0600. I've tried every form of contact and nothing. If I can't reach him tomorrow I don't know what to do except show up on Monday. What should I do?
I barely passed my OPAT pacer test and I can't run to save my life (lmao it's pretty bad though). I almost certainly will be going to fat camp. What is it like? How much will it affect things like my AIT date? Would I lose my MOS if I got recycled or delayed due to fat camp?
Also, if I can't get a certain bill to be on auto pay will I be able to use my phone for like 10 minutes during basic? (Probably a dumb question because it's all up to the DSG but just a minor thing I'm worried about).
Any help would be appreciated, thank you!
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I am shipping to my first duty station today but I haven't heard a peep from my sponsor and can't acess my military email. Is it normal for them to wait till the last second to contact you?
Link to Comment Chain
How to branch Cyber out of ROTC? I know for a while it was basically an application and interview. Is it still like that? Any changes in the foreseeable future?
Link to Comment Chain
What are the bathrooms like at Fort Jackson basic training? I don't care about showering or peeing in the open but I reeeeeaaaaaaalllly don't wanna poop in front of people. Also, I heard you can go to the bathroom after lights out. Is that true? Or is that gonna get me in loads of trouble.
Link to Comment Chain
Is there a situation with job selection in the army where if you don't want to sign for a job since the one you want isn't available, that you are barred from coming back? I'm ready to head back to MEPS after getting my medical stuff approved and a new recruiter at the office I go to told me that if I didn't sign when I went that MEPS wouldn't let me come back. That there was no waiting for a job. This contradicts everything I've ever been told by everyone else up to this point.
Link to Comment Chain
Question about student loan repayment. Recruiter has been telling me 5-year contracts are the only option with it available. That's a long ass time. My $52k in student debt is all federal and would be covered, but that's still a pretty significant length of time. Maybe just intimidating.
Anyone know if it's available for shorter contracts or if it would be worth doing a shorter contract with no incentive/lesser incentive? I'd been looking to go infantry for the training and experience, as it seems to translate decently well into law enforcement - which is the goal.
Link to Comment Chain
Anyone seeing AGSU/PinksNGreens in their clothing and sales yet? I did my Marlow White fitting but they’re behind on shirts. Looking to complete the set sooner than later.
Link to Comment Chain
Leaving soon for basic at Fort Leonardwood. Do you all think I can get my ibuprofen snuck into the actual training after reception? I just need it for night. I'm a lot older going into basic and my body has been through a lot of wear and tear. It helps me sleep better.

I was thinking of sneaking it into the sleeping bag they issue and hide it on me when they do a random shakedown. I don't remember them ever patting us down when I went five years ago to Fort Benning. Thinking about putting them all in a ziploc bag. I just know if they find it that I'm done for. I'm leaning on not bringing it with me and just deal with it, I guess. Integrity has to start somewhere...
Link to Comment Chain
How would I go about getting airborne school as a 19K? Am I able to re-enlist to go to airborne school? The nature of my MOS makes airborne school not useful at all. However I’ve wanted to go for years. Is it worth it asking my unit to send me? What are the options to get airborne for the novelty?
Link to Comment Chain
I have an 18x contract. If I end up a non select or dropped from SFAS what are the chances of dropping a packet and going to RASP right after I get to a unit?
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I enlisted as 19d and ship off in a few weeks for OSUT. I heard from friends in and out of the army that the cav is pretty wild, parties a decent amount, and there is a lot of homo jokes and the like that goes on. Does that pretty much sum up cav?
Link to Comment Chain
Can I wear an ankle brace at basic? Pretty young and fit overall. I was just wondering
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As someone who is shipping for infantry osut this month what pt test will I be required to pass for graduation? I know you have to pass one for the basic portion and the ait portion but considering by the time I get to the ait phase the ACFT will be the new standard will I be taking both? Thanks.
Link to Comment Chain
Heard something about an “updated” checklist for shipping out. Can someone send it? Recruiter hasn’t responded in a while.
Link to Comment Chain
I’m seeking some advice. I want to return to the Army as an officer through OCS. I’m prior service and have a bachelor degree. Since I have the GI bill I was planning on going to school to get a negree in nursing and return to the Army as an officer nurse. If I’m planning on returning to the Army and retiring from the Army would it be better to go in through regular OCS and get branched into whatever I qualify for or would the nurse route be better? Just wondering what your thoughts and advice is on this.
Link to Comment Chain
Path to Rangers Confusion
So I’ve been researching how to become a Ranger. It seems the only way to get guarente ed a shot is with a option 40 contract. But after that, I don’t really understand the process. What is the complete process of becoming a Ranger from getting you’re contract to being a full member of the regiment? Also, what is the process of actually getting the contract in the first place.
Link to Comment Chain
Question for 173rd airborne folks: What’s y’all’s opinion if the 143rd airborne (NG)?
Question for SF folks: During the 2+ year process of earning your green beret, how often and for how long did you get leave/get the opportunity to see family?
Link to Comment Chain
Will the 22 week infantry OSUT have less substance due to COVID? Specifically things like land nav or small unit tactics
Link to Comment Chain
Recently learned I'll be PCSing to JBLM in January from Fort Hood. For those of yall who have been to both, how does it compare? Any recommendations for areas to live? I'm a single CPT aiming to live off post, potentially buying. Thanks!
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Does anyone have a recruiter POC for the Defense Attaché System? I've emailed two inboxes I found online and got no response. Thanks.
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Maybe this is a long shot, but I’m a reservist currently growing tired of the 25 series and spoke with a career counselor about going 51C. Other then the general information on the page, does anyone know anybody personally that has become a 51C? Tried reaching out to the emails listed on the website for some general questions with no response, I was wondering if any of you fine folks on here may be able to point me in the right direction!
Link to Comment Chain
Currently interested in enlisting, unsure if I can say that I was never arrested or charged with a crime for an incident that happened when I was a juvenile because I was never physically arrested but a summons was written. The case was handled non judicially and when I went to pull the records from the juvenile court I was told I have no record does this have to be disclosed? I answered no when enrolled in ROTC and was never spoken too about it.
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Sorry, but what's PRT?
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Good day everyone, Quick background: I was recently medically dropped from USMC OCS for missing too many days because I sprained my knee. My knee is getting better and I hope to be 100% in the next month or so (really bad sprain). OCS didn’t really live up to my expectations, honestly, I thought it was going to be harder, and while I have the option to go back if I want to, I’m thinking about changing branches and going Army enlisted with an 18x contract because I really want to be challenged (yes, I know what a lot of you are thinking or want to say, but please, that’s not the purpose of this question).
Question: will the med docs from USMC OCS be transferred to the Army and if so, will that have any impact on me being able to enlist and get an 18x contract.
Thanks in advance for any and all help.
Link to Comment Chain
Need help picking my mos Im torn between 11b-11c-12b. Theres a 20k sign on bonus for infantry but i would like to get involved with route clearance and IED's. Any help?
Link to Comment Chain
Anyone here work as a 68K/68P/68C? I want to know how feasible it would be to go to school while being in this MOS (night classes).
Link to Comment Chain
Hello, commo guy here. I have some questions about re-enlisting for a SF group support slot. I am currently at a base that doesn’t have any SF group support guys I can talk to in person.
  1. Do support guys get the MOS training for their field?
  2. Is there any downtime to work on college classes?
  3. I am currently taking medication for anxiety. Will this stop me from being able to support SF?
    Link to Comment Chain
Anyone here go from 68K to IPAP? Wondering what credits from AIT transfer for the application requirements?
Link to Comment Chain
11x option 40 contract: when you get the 11x do you have a say in weather you become infantry or mortarman?
Link to Comment Chain
Beginning to date an 11A who has done BCT and OCS, and has Infantry AIT next. What's that like? How long is it? How much could we expect to communicate/see each other during that time?
Link to Comment Chain
I'm currently serving as a 37F30 E6 in the Army Reserve. I'm reaching the end of interest in this MOS mostly because we have all but lost our fight for relevance. Active duty 37F want to be pretend commandos or spend time on embassy missions while reserve PSYOP is an endless glut of CTC rotations and functioning at a very low understanding of our place in IRC and IO. I was interested in making the jump to what I assume is more relevant for the future fight in the LSCO environment we are in now service-wide. Can anyone give me advice on the mos of 17E? I'm aware that 17C is a very hot highspeed MOS currently however I still enjoy being out in a truck with a small team and 17E seems like they get to do that more often. Any Advice on a career change to pivot to a reserve side MOS that has tons of relevance would be appreciated. Have brain will travel.
Link to Comment Chain
What do recruiters not tell you before you proceed with the enlistment process into the U.S. Army?
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submitted by Army_Bot to army [link] [comments]


2020.07.20 13:00 Army_Bot Summary For: Weekly Question Thread (7/13 to 7/19)

Anyone in the NYC area? I was reading about a dry cleaner by Fort Hamilton that does a good job on ASUs but I can't find the name of it anywhere
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Hi everyone, I just finished my freshman year of college and I'm an rotc cadet. Ive wanted to be an army ranger for a very long time. After doing a lot of research and reading about the 75th I realized that the odds of becoming one through rotc are very slim.
If I use my rotc scholarship for even a single day of my sophomore year classes then I'll be committed to that path and won't be able to drop out without having to pay the army back. I was just wondering if anyone could give me advice on whether I should continue with rotc and take my chances, or if I should drop out now and try and enlist to go to rasp.
Also any insight on what life for enlisted/officers in the 75th would be really appreciated!!
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I was thinking about Enlisting as a 68c MOS into the reserves. I know the 68c MOS is a practical nursing specialist. So my question is if I joined as a 68c, would that allow me to receive an LPN license through AIT, and can I transfer that license over to another state to work Per Diem while being in the reserves?
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In AIT, got canceled for leaving to my duty station. My orders say July 20th. If I'm not there by then what happens, do the orders change to another date or location? I asked cadre and they said I should be gone before then but they aren't sure
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About to graduate OCS and just received my orders for IBOLC, I need some help understanding the process. We graduate on July 24th but the report date for 199th IN isn't until August 24th. My class start/report date to IBOLC 2-11 IN is April 8th. It states it is a PCS move.
1.) When do I report to 199th after OCS graduation? I am pretty sure I don't get a whole month off do I?
2.) Will 199th house me until I find off post housing?
3.) Will I get the 10 days of PTDY?
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What are the chances of getting deployed, if you’re in the U.S. Army reserves?
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I am about leave for Basic here soon and I am confused as to whether or not I need to make my own copies of my birth/marriage certificate and other documents to bring with me? Or will they provide me with copies that my recruiter put in the system already earlier in the recruiting process, when I ship out?
Link to Comment Chain
A little backstory:
I moved to a different state during the initial outbreak of covid19. This made my recruiter want to continue being my recruiter, but also made me contact a local recruiter to physically sign stuff and go to meps. So I have 2 recruiters that I can to be the in-between for (they apparently can't/won't communicate with each other). Personally, I don't like either of them as recruiters but I just kept going forward.
Question time:
I am shipping to basic on Monday. Neither recruiter has helped me at all to make sure I was ready to go. I called old home recruiter (A) to get some sort of packing list and to verify what paperwork I needed. He said bring nothing but my ID, a debit card, my direct deposit form, and 2 sets of clothes (highly contradicts what the goarmy website says to bring but I'm not that worried). Should I bring more?
Tried to contact new home recruiter (B) all week to figure out when I'm supposed to be going to MEPS/the hotel because I thought I was supposed to stay the night just like I did with the medical exam trip to MEPS. He isn't responding and I'm pretty sure they are closed until Monday. My contract says to be at MEPS at 0600. I've tried every form of contact and nothing. If I can't reach him tomorrow I don't know what to do except show up on Monday. What should I do?
I barely passed my OPAT pacer test and I can't run to save my life (lmao it's pretty bad though). I almost certainly will be going to fat camp. What is it like? How much will it affect things like my AIT date? Would I lose my MOS if I got recycled or delayed due to fat camp?
Also, if I can't get a certain bill to be on auto pay will I be able to use my phone for like 10 minutes during basic? (Probably a dumb question because it's all up to the DSG but just a minor thing I'm worried about).
Any help would be appreciated, thank you!
Link to Comment Chain
I am shipping to my first duty station today but I haven't heard a peep from my sponsor and can't acess my military email. Is it normal for them to wait till the last second to contact you?
Link to Comment Chain
How to branch Cyber out of ROTC? I know for a while it was basically an application and interview. Is it still like that? Any changes in the foreseeable future?
Link to Comment Chain
What are the bathrooms like at Fort Jackson basic training? I don't care about showering or peeing in the open but I reeeeeaaaaaaalllly don't wanna poop in front of people. Also, I heard you can go to the bathroom after lights out. Is that true? Or is that gonna get me in loads of trouble.
Link to Comment Chain
Is there a situation with job selection in the army where if you don't want to sign for a job since the one you want isn't available, that you are barred from coming back? I'm ready to head back to MEPS after getting my medical stuff approved and a new recruiter at the office I go to told me that if I didn't sign when I went that MEPS wouldn't let me come back. That there was no waiting for a job. This contradicts everything I've ever been told by everyone else up to this point.
Link to Comment Chain
Question about student loan repayment. Recruiter has been telling me 5-year contracts are the only option with it available. That's a long ass time. My $52k in student debt is all federal and would be covered, but that's still a pretty significant length of time. Maybe just intimidating.
Anyone know if it's available for shorter contracts or if it would be worth doing a shorter contract with no incentive/lesser incentive? I'd been looking to go infantry for the training and experience, as it seems to translate decently well into law enforcement - which is the goal.
Link to Comment Chain
Anyone seeing AGSU/PinksNGreens in their clothing and sales yet? I did my Marlow White fitting but they’re behind on shirts. Looking to complete the set sooner than later.
Link to Comment Chain
Leaving soon for basic at Fort Leonardwood. Do you all think I can get my ibuprofen snuck into the actual training after reception? I just need it for night. I'm a lot older going into basic and my body has been through a lot of wear and tear. It helps me sleep better.

I was thinking of sneaking it into the sleeping bag they issue and hide it on me when they do a random shakedown. I don't remember them ever patting us down when I went five years ago to Fort Benning. Thinking about putting them all in a ziploc bag. I just know if they find it that I'm done for. I'm leaning on not bringing it with me and just deal with it, I guess. Integrity has to start somewhere...
Link to Comment Chain
How would I go about getting airborne school as a 19K? Am I able to re-enlist to go to airborne school? The nature of my MOS makes airborne school not useful at all. However I’ve wanted to go for years. Is it worth it asking my unit to send me? What are the options to get airborne for the novelty?
Link to Comment Chain
I have an 18x contract. If I end up a non select or dropped from SFAS what are the chances of dropping a packet and going to RASP right after I get to a unit?
Link to Comment Chain
I enlisted as 19d and ship off in a few weeks for OSUT. I heard from friends in and out of the army that the cav is pretty wild, parties a decent amount, and there is a lot of homo jokes and the like that goes on. Does that pretty much sum up cav?
Link to Comment Chain
Can I wear an ankle brace at basic? Pretty young and fit overall. I was just wondering
Link to Comment Chain
As someone who is shipping for infantry osut this month what pt test will I be required to pass for graduation? I know you have to pass one for the basic portion and the ait portion but considering by the time I get to the ait phase the ACFT will be the new standard will I be taking both? Thanks.
Link to Comment Chain
Heard something about an “updated” checklist for shipping out. Can someone send it? Recruiter hasn’t responded in a while.
Link to Comment Chain
I’m seeking some advice. I want to return to the Army as an officer through OCS. I’m prior service and have a bachelor degree. Since I have the GI bill I was planning on going to school to get a negree in nursing and return to the Army as an officer nurse. If I’m planning on returning to the Army and retiring from the Army would it be better to go in through regular OCS and get branched into whatever I qualify for or would the nurse route be better? Just wondering what your thoughts and advice is on this.
Link to Comment Chain
Path to Rangers Confusion
So I’ve been researching how to become a Ranger. It seems the only way to get guarente ed a shot is with a option 40 contract. But after that, I don’t really understand the process. What is the complete process of becoming a Ranger from getting you’re contract to being a full member of the regiment? Also, what is the process of actually getting the contract in the first place.
Link to Comment Chain
Question for 173rd airborne folks: What’s y’all’s opinion if the 143rd airborne (NG)?
Question for SF folks: During the 2+ year process of earning your green beret, how often and for how long did you get leave/get the opportunity to see family?
Link to Comment Chain
Will the 22 week infantry OSUT have less substance due to COVID? Specifically things like land nav or small unit tactics
Link to Comment Chain
Recently learned I'll be PCSing to JBLM in January from Fort Hood. For those of yall who have been to both, how does it compare? Any recommendations for areas to live? I'm a single CPT aiming to live off post, potentially buying. Thanks!
Link to Comment Chain
Does anyone have a recruiter POC for the Defense Attaché System? I've emailed two inboxes I found online and got no response. Thanks.
Link to Comment Chain
Maybe this is a long shot, but I’m a reservist currently growing tired of the 25 series and spoke with a career counselor about going 51C. Other then the general information on the page, does anyone know anybody personally that has become a 51C? Tried reaching out to the emails listed on the website for some general questions with no response, I was wondering if any of you fine folks on here may be able to point me in the right direction!
Link to Comment Chain
Currently interested in enlisting, unsure if I can say that I was never arrested or charged with a crime for an incident that happened when I was a juvenile because I was never physically arrested but a summons was written. The case was handled non judicially and when I went to pull the records from the juvenile court I was told I have no record does this have to be disclosed? I answered no when enrolled in ROTC and was never spoken too about it.
Link to Comment Chain
Sorry, but what's PRT?
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Good day everyone, Quick background: I was recently medically dropped from USMC OCS for missing too many days because I sprained my knee. My knee is getting better and I hope to be 100% in the next month or so (really bad sprain). OCS didn’t really live up to my expectations, honestly, I thought it was going to be harder, and while I have the option to go back if I want to, I’m thinking about changing branches and going Army enlisted with an 18x contract because I really want to be challenged (yes, I know what a lot of you are thinking or want to say, but please, that’s not the purpose of this question).
Question: will the med docs from USMC OCS be transferred to the Army and if so, will that have any impact on me being able to enlist and get an 18x contract.
Thanks in advance for any and all help.
Link to Comment Chain
Need help picking my mos Im torn between 11b-11c-12b. Theres a 20k sign on bonus for infantry but i would like to get involved with route clearance and IED's. Any help?
Link to Comment Chain
Anyone here work as a 68K/68P/68C? I want to know how feasible it would be to go to school while being in this MOS (night classes).
Link to Comment Chain
Hello, commo guy here. I have some questions about re-enlisting for a SF group support slot. I am currently at a base that doesn’t have any SF group support guys I can talk to in person.
  1. Do support guys get the MOS training for their field?
  2. Is there any downtime to work on college classes?
  3. I am currently taking medication for anxiety. Will this stop me from being able to support SF?
    Link to Comment Chain
Anyone here go from 68K to IPAP? Wondering what credits from AIT transfer for the application requirements?
Link to Comment Chain
11x option 40 contract: when you get the 11x do you have a say in weather you become infantry or mortarman?
Link to Comment Chain
Beginning to date an 11A who has done BCT and OCS, and has Infantry AIT next. What's that like? How long is it? How much could we expect to communicate/see each other during that time?
Link to Comment Chain
I'm currently serving as a 37F30 E6 in the Army Reserve. I'm reaching the end of interest in this MOS mostly because we have all but lost our fight for relevance. Active duty 37F want to be pretend commandos or spend time on embassy missions while reserve PSYOP is an endless glut of CTC rotations and functioning at a very low understanding of our place in IRC and IO. I was interested in making the jump to what I assume is more relevant for the future fight in the LSCO environment we are in now service-wide. Can anyone give me advice on the mos of 17E? I'm aware that 17C is a very hot highspeed MOS currently however I still enjoy being out in a truck with a small team and 17E seems like they get to do that more often. Any Advice on a career change to pivot to a reserve side MOS that has tons of relevance would be appreciated. Have brain will travel.
Link to Comment Chain
What do recruiters not tell you before you proceed with the enlistment process into the U.S. Army?
Link to Comment Chain
submitted by Army_Bot to ArmyWQT [link] [comments]


2020.07.18 17:55 Army_Bot Summary For: Weekly Question Thread (4/1 to 4/7)

Am I an idiot?
25 with a BA and JD wanting to enlist and interested in 35L. I'll need a mental health waiver for a Lexapro prescription two years ago (Doc prescribed after feeling lethargic, had no issues with self-harm; was not committed to any facility). I've considered commissioning, but I don't believe my packet would be very competitive. I don't have great references, or a ton of leadership experience on my resume and the added mental health waiver.
Would I be an idiot for not trying to commission? And any tips for what I should have my doctor include in his statement to help me with the medical waiver?

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Can i use the leave days I will acquire during ets leave towards my ets leave?
I've asked this question in real life and have gotten conflicting answers
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I don't think I'll be able to get option 40 in my contract due to waivers, but being in the 75th is all I want to do in my life currently.
I know I need to be tip top shape for consideration if I don't have the option 40 in my contract. How can I prepare myself to be THAT guy that gets recommended for RASP etc?
I'm 23, no surgeries or injuries, but have not ran or worked out in 2 years. Not fat, still slim but running has always been my weakest skill. Lifting, carrying, anything heavy I can do without breaking a sweat though. I know there are no magic formulas out there other than work your ass off and get fit. But are there any constructive advices to help me get volunteered for RASP?
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I am currently in the process of enlisting through the CID direct accessions program. If I smoked weed once in the past that was almost 7 years ago, would this be an auto DQ from applying to the program, similar to how it would be for OCS? Thank you for any help.
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I'm on my way out with a separation of a couple months out. I feel like I'm going to be worked up until the point of transition. Is there any protected time while gearing up to ETS or do I just get those 10 clearing days.
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I am currently in DEP as a 68C. I ship out end of this month. I am now concerned that I should have chosen 68W so that I might have a broader range of school opportunities and experience.
Anyone have any thoughts on 68W vs 68C? Should I switch to 68W so that I can attend special schools, and have more opportunities? My plan is to eventually do IPAP. (I already have a BA degree).
Thanks!
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Does the army still offer two-year active duty contracts? If so how hard are they to get?
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Is it crazy to want to come off the street to an 18x?
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I'm a PFC 13F In 2nd BCT 82nd, I'm trying to get on 3rd BCT's deployment. I know it's unlikely I'll get in as a PFC but you miss 100% of the shots you dont take you know? Was told by multiple 3rd BCT NCO's their short on RTO's but none of my leadership will help me find the approriete DD forms to voulenteer. What do I need to do to?
EDIT: I know this thread is dedicated more towards getting into the Army questions- but I didn't want to make it it's own post
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Anyone have experience with a (edit) USAR soldier opting to separate due to pregnancy? My wife received her initial pregnancy counseling and in her list of options there's an option to separate or go IRR. We're just wondering the specifics, etc.
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Can officers get vision waivers? I'm sure I can enlist but, my eyesight for my other is worse.
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Recently signed as a 35P. When do I find out what language I am assigned? Contract just said I’m gonna be in DLI for 52 weeks but nothing else.
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Can someone please direct me to the tread where that dude went to basic training and his girl friend did a porno the same day?
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About to finish up 19k OSUT and I'm projected to head to 1-36 INF. Does anybody here know much about the unit? Good people? Leadership? How the brigade transition is going to work? Are we just going to be doing bitch work until it's time to qual?
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Is there a list online somewhere I can find of the vaccinations that are given at basic? I can provide the long, stupid story if anyone wants it. Or can anyone tell me if males are given the HPV Vaccine?
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For anyone who got a medical waiver before enlisting. How long did it take and have you heard of waivers being granted for spinal fusions?
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Doing the Holland 4 Day March. What's a good ruck sack to use for that? Is it mini ruck given at CIF good enough?
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Does 35M require DLI? I read on the official website that you have to take the DLAB but it also doesn’t mention DLI as part of the training process. I plan on taking the DLAB but also looking for a fallback option in case I don’t do particularly well.
Thanks in advance.
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I've been doing a lot of research online about the weight problem that people face when trying to join the military. I'm currently overweight, which isn't normal for me, I've just had a rough couple of years. I'm usually really active so I believe, once I get back in my routine, it will be easy for me to get back to my normal weight in 6-7 months.
My question is, what if I want to join before I meet my healthy BMI? Is that possible? I read that there's a waiver they can give out to over weight people, and the army basically gives them a year to lose the extra pounds while they serve. But I called a couple fo recruiters and they didn't know what I was talking about. Have any of you heard about exceptions when it comes to weight?
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Anyone know if there are any rules or regulations or anything like that about applying for woft as a drill sergeant? Looking like I'm heading down that way and am currently building my woft packet, can you still apply for woft as a drill sergeant? It seems sketchy like you make the commitment to serve as a DS then if selected, just leave when you get your wocs date..
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Not sure if this is the right place or not. Someone is saying they don’t know when they’re leaving for basic when they just had one for February. Supposedly MEPS had computer problems and lost her file, along with others. So they sent her “to the back of the queue” effectively starting her over.
In short: can anyone confirm or deny that MEPS in Columbia, South Carolina lost files on people lately? Due to computer issues.
Sorry if I’m in the wrong place or formatting is bed I rarely use reddit.
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Anybody know where to order a army issue plate carrier? Or to buy one around JBLM? Trying to not spend more than 300
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I'm trying to find a way to enter the WOFT Street to Seat program as a non-citizen.

Would it be possible to:
  1. Enter the country with a student visa / tourist visa (I'm getting mixed signals on this - some claim it's possible, others claim it's not)
  2. Enlist under a 2 year contract with a related MOS (ex: 94R1 Avionic And Survivability Equipment Repairer)
  3. After getting citizenship, I'll apply for the WOFT program

The first hurdle I have to leap is the citizenship itself, which is already the end goal for most people. Getting a green card is almost impossible for me, I have an uncle and aunt who are citizens, but nothing closer. The DV lottery is also out because of my nationality.

I'd appreciate any input / feedback, thank you!
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What is the minimum amount of time to serve in the army to get the benefits from it such as free college etc.?
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Soldier stationed in Korea receives last minute orders back to the states, has a couple days to out process and fly out. Forgets to cancel lg uplus phone service. Tries to cancel once he's back and they tell him he needs to come in and do it in person. Help?
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I recently went to MEPS, and I got pulled for a cardiac consult. I have never had any problems with my heart. This was last Monday, any idea on how long it will take to get the call with my details? Or how I can speed up the process?
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Reservists: Compared to active duty soldiers do you feel like you get a chance or enough time to actually do the MOS you trained for? Was a long AIT time worth it or do you wish you would’ve gone active? Thank you in advance for your input.
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And MPs here? Whats daily life like?
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Is there a minimum length of an active duty contract to be able to volunteer for RASP/ 75th RR? I have a 3 year 13F contract reserved and was wondering if they will let me volunteer for RASP.
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I want to join but have slight red/green color blindness. I can pass vivid color tests and have no issue seeing and distinguishing individual colors. I want to know if there are any medical waivers for 25 series and 94 series jobs for this medical issue. Thank you all!
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Thats the thing.. He (and the ppl at MEPS) say theyre using a new system and theyll reach out directly to me with my date. My recruiters hands are pretty much tied.. Thanks for the info though.. Im just anxious and want this whole process to be over so i can get to basic.. This is my lifes dream
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What happens post-RASP? Do you go into an AIT phase after becoming a Ranger for your specific MOS? I know the training doesn't stop there, but 8 Weeks seems like such a short time to make a civilian into a Ranger and can't seem to find any info on it.
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I tried joining the Air Force, but got disqualified because of my vision. I would really like to join the military, my prescription is -2, -17. Does anyone have any insight on this?
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when is medical services thread going up
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I was in with a recruiter today after taking the ASVAB and have a few questions on things. I only got a picture of the job codes through the recruiter website. The recruiter showed me a few of them and the bonuses and whatnot offered with them, but is there anyway I can view these things from home? I also wasn't able to see the scores I got on the certain sections, I only know the percentile I placed in. Should I request that information?
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What are the odds of being waived as a 19k to reclass to 31D? I qualify for everything minus being an MP but that can be waived if on active duty. Curious if anyone here has any experience
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Would 25 be to old to pursue becoming a Ranger?
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Odd question: how does one go about using leave days if they are in the reserves/NG?
Do you need to be on AD orders to take it? What happens if you don’t use it?
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Can any 68C's answer a few questions I have?
  1. What does your daily schedule look like on phase 1?
  2. Same question but for phase 2
  3. Are newer nurses treated poorly as seen sometimes in civilian clinics?
  4. Is finding a qualified Nursing school for AECP easier than it seems?
  5. What kind of physical fitness level should I be at? I can pass the current APFT just fine but I know being a nurse is strenuous
  6. What kind of special schooling is available within the enlisted side for this MOS if any?
  7. Where can this MOS get deployed to OCONUS?

Thanks!
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The reservation paper I received at MEPS states training length as 14 weeks (infantry OSUT), is there any possibility that this will change given I ship in August which is towards the latter end of the time table given for the shift to 22-weeks for infantry OSUT?
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Hello y'all, I'm going in as a 68C and would like a better understanding of the education received after completion of AIT. Would you get an associates degree, or what kind of college credits will be covered usually by the course. I plan on attending a nursing school after my training at my hometown which is San Antonio.
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I want to be a vet 64A so I'm looking at the health professions scholarship program. I'm a sophomore in college now, is it worth contracting rotc then getting an education delay for vet school then hpsp or just wait and apply for hpsp in vet school?
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I smoked marijuana a decent amount in high school and the start of college. I'm currently about to graduate college, so I haven't used it for the past few years. Is getting a marijuana waiver a death sentence to your ocs application?
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Looking to join the Army. Sat down with a recruiter and started paperwork. Getting my finances in order to obtain a security clearance. Shooting for 13F. My only issue was that I was homeschooled in high school. I did not take any state standardized test, but I have 15 college credits from an accredited college. Recruiter told me to get my GED? Even with the college credits?
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If I want to go to graduate school for a master's, am I better off 1) joining the reserves or 2) ROTC (then enlisting upon graduation? I have a meeting with a recruiter next week for an interesting position but I'm trying to see what my options are.
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Hello all, I could use some advice. Current Department of the Army Civilian, no prior service. Work in the NCR. Very technical, persnickety person; I love logistics and the job I have. I like Army culture, I work with officers all day and think it's great, the Army is a noble organization whose morals align with my own. But, 1) I come from a military family and I've always had a desire to serve...and no, DA Civilian sadly does not count in my mind or my family's. 2) Full disclosure, I'm worried about not being able to progress in my field (QuartermasteAcquisition/Life Cycle Logistician) due to not possessing Veteran points; in fact, I've already missed out on several opportunities for that exact reason. USAJobs is awful, and I'll never make GS-14/15 at this rate as a Civilian without veteran status.
So, I've decided to resign my job and join the Active Component. I have a college degree, but I'm debating between going to OCS, signing for six years and trying for QuartermasteOrdnance Branches (which for some reason people do not seem to want, and I can't imagine why, I haven't been bored a single day in Supply/Logistics), or just taking the cash bonus and SPC, enlisting for two years, then spending six in the reserves.
Factors for consideration: I'm 25, 10 lbs overweight and high on the tape measure test (but down 15 from three months ago and working on it). 99 ASVAB, Bachelor's in Computer Science. Writing skills are good. A clearance and a year and a half of experience working for DoD (DA specifically). The recruiter says with my ASVAB and my technical abilities I can pick any MOS that's available at MEPS (mine will be Fort Meade). If I go officer, I'd want to try and stick to something applicable to my career, but if I go enlisted I think I just want to see the world and have a cool experience/check the box. I'm thinking 35P, Cryptologic Linguist (I know you have to take the test and go to DLIFLC; I speak a few languages other than English and Spanish, but just shy of fluency), it sounds cool and I like languages. Here's the kicker: I'm incredibly shy, soft-spoken, and rather awkward...should I try for officer or just enlist? I'd like to be an officer, but I'm worried I won't be an inspirational leader.
Also, my recruiter when I asked said he didn't know anything about Cyber direct commission, but I was interested by what little I've heard. Anyone know anything about that? Thank you all--and I'm very excited for the future.
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[Looking for Advice]: I just took the ASVAB last week in Germany. Scored an 88 with a GT score of 121 and I am set on going to OCS. I would like to know what is expected of me in the MEPS PT test? I am not quite physically active so would that disqualify me? Assuming that I make it to OCS, what preparations should I make to ensure that I get jobs in aviation or military intelligence? I speak multiple languages and have a STEM master's degree.
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Leaving for basic soon as a 15Y, just wondering from other people in my mos how it is on a daily basis work wise. Thanks!
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Do I have to tell my command I'm getting married if I'm getting out on medboard within a few months anyway? SO is stationed elsewhere so we'd qualify as geo bachelors anyway and wouldn't get benefits till I'm out and officially move there.
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Is being 32 too old to join?
The short of it is that I'm single, no kids, and have made some choices in life that have brought me to where I don't have a whole lot going for me, and not a whole lot to look forward to over the next several years except slogging through low level wage work while trying to build something for myself. In every objective sense, joining the Army seems like an ideal thing to do right now. And regardless of my age, it seems like it could be the very step I need in order to get my life going.
I do have some waiver issues. Fortunately I found a recruiting office willing to work with me despite all the hoops I've had to jump through. I'm pretty far along in the process and can get approved in the near future. But that also means I can't exactly be picky when it comes to picking a job at MEPS.
But at the same time, I wonder if being a recruit at my age might put me in a position that's even worse than I'm in now. If there aren't any jobs worth taking at MEPS, I'm still going to have to take one. But then I don't want to find myself in a position where my life ends up worse off than it is now. I guess the worst thing that can happen is I mop floors for four years, only to get out and use the GI Bill and other benefits to really start advancing my life. Still seems to be as good of an option for me as any other low wage job I can take right now while working towards the same thing.
On the other hand, if there are decent jobs available when I go to MEPS, I could end up liking the Army and deciding to see what opportunities are there.
But going back to my original question, is joining in your early 30s a worthy pursuit?
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So I leave for meps in a few days but I fucked up my wrist (Falling while skating) while I was out of town.
It dose not hurt I can push through it unless im in pushup position then it become un bearable and I am unable to do a push up or anything that requires me to be in that position. I don't want to go to a doctor because they willl give me meds and I don't wanna drop dirty on my test even if it is prescription. What should it do to try to lessen the pain so I can go into meps not worrying. thank you so much
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Has anyone here ever had Plantar warts?
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I'm interested in going special forces. I was looking at 18X(special forces candidate), but the problem is you have to be 20 years old, and I'm only 17. Once I'm in the Army, and 20 years old, how do I go special forces?
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General opinions: I just commissioned as a 2LT through ROTC, should I get my rank and nametape sewn on to my ACUs or no? why or why not?
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MOS-T attending JCAC
Where can I get a decent haircut in pensacola?
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Do nurses officers in the medical corps earn more money compared to other officers of the same paygrade? Or is that only doctors and PA's?
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How do I get discharge orders from Army IRR?
I had 4 years active and 4 years IRR in my contract. Now I want to get documentation showing I'm no longer on IRR. How do I get that?
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You’re right.
I’ll message you once I do.
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What’s your opinion on OCP/coyote brown gear?
EDIT: I was curious to see some of your opinions. I’ve had people complain about coyote brown gear to which I don’t understand why lol. Especially since my unit’s aid bags are coyote brown lol
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Would it be better attend West Point or do ROTC at UCLA?
My priorities (from most to least important):
  1. Not being a shitty LT
  2. Making money after army or being successful in army if I stay in
  3. Branching infantry
Also, how are the weekends during junior and senior year of West Point? Basically, is it easy to match with girls from NYC on Tinder?
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Leaving for Fort Benning Georgia, 11B May 29th. anyone else?
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Hello, I was wondering can I score bad in the math sections of the ASVAB and still score high? I’ve heard someone scoring a 52 before that did not do well in math.
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submitted by Army_Bot to ArmyWQT [link] [comments]


2020.07.18 16:49 Army_Bot Summary For: Weekly Question Thread (7/13 to 7/19)

Anyone in the NYC area? I was reading about a dry cleaner by Fort Hamilton that does a good job on ASUs but I can't find the name of it anywhere
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I was thinking about Enlisting as a 68c MOS into the reserves. I know the 68c MOS is a practical nursing specialist. So my question is if I joined as a 68c, would that allow me to receive an LPN license through AIT, and can I transfer that license over to another state to work Per Diem while being in the reserves?
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Hi everyone, I just finished my freshman year of college and I'm an rotc cadet. Ive wanted to be an army ranger for a very long time. After doing a lot of research and reading about the 75th I realized that the odds of becoming one through rotc are very slim.
If I use my rotc scholarship for even a single day of my sophomore year classes then I'll be committed to that path and won't be able to drop out without having to pay the army back. I was just wondering if anyone could give me advice on whether I should continue with rotc and take my chances, or if I should drop out now and try and enlist to go to rasp.
Also any insight on what life for enlisted/officers in the 75th would be really appreciated!!
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In AIT, got canceled for leaving to my duty station. My orders say July 20th. If I'm not there by then what happens, do the orders change to another date or location? I asked cadre and they said I should be gone before then but they aren't sure
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About to graduate OCS and just received my orders for IBOLC, I need some help understanding the process. We graduate on July 24th but the report date for 199th IN isn't until August 24th. My class start/report date to IBOLC 2-11 IN is April 8th. It states it is a PCS move.
1.) When do I report to 199th after OCS graduation? I am pretty sure I don't get a whole month off do I?
2.) Will 199th house me until I find off post housing?
3.) Will I get the 10 days of PTDY?
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What are the chances of getting deployed, if you’re in the U.S. Army reserves?
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A little backstory:
I moved to a different state during the initial outbreak of covid19. This made my recruiter want to continue being my recruiter, but also made me contact a local recruiter to physically sign stuff and go to meps. So I have 2 recruiters that I can to be the in-between for (they apparently can't/won't communicate with each other). Personally, I don't like either of them as recruiters but I just kept going forward.
Question time:
I am shipping to basic on Monday. Neither recruiter has helped me at all to make sure I was ready to go. I called old home recruiter (A) to get some sort of packing list and to verify what paperwork I needed. He said bring nothing but my ID, a debit card, my direct deposit form, and 2 sets of clothes (highly contradicts what the goarmy website says to bring but I'm not that worried). Should I bring more?
Tried to contact new home recruiter (B) all week to figure out when I'm supposed to be going to MEPS/the hotel because I thought I was supposed to stay the night just like I did with the medical exam trip to MEPS. He isn't responding and I'm pretty sure they are closed until Monday. My contract says to be at MEPS at 0600. I've tried every form of contact and nothing. If I can't reach him tomorrow I don't know what to do except show up on Monday. What should I do?
I barely passed my OPAT pacer test and I can't run to save my life (lmao it's pretty bad though). I almost certainly will be going to fat camp. What is it like? How much will it affect things like my AIT date? Would I lose my MOS if I got recycled or delayed due to fat camp?
Also, if I can't get a certain bill to be on auto pay will I be able to use my phone for like 10 minutes during basic? (Probably a dumb question because it's all up to the DSG but just a minor thing I'm worried about).
Any help would be appreciated, thank you!
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Is there a situation with job selection in the army where if you don't want to sign for a job since the one you want isn't available, that you are barred from coming back? I'm ready to head back to MEPS after getting my medical stuff approved and a new recruiter at the office I go to told me that if I didn't sign when I went that MEPS wouldn't let me come back. That there was no waiting for a job. This contradicts everything I've ever been told by everyone else up to this point.
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Question about student loan repayment. Recruiter has been telling me 5-year contracts are the only option with it available. That's a long ass time. My $52k in student debt is all federal and would be covered, but that's still a pretty significant length of time. Maybe just intimidating.
Anyone know if it's available for shorter contracts or if it would be worth doing a shorter contract with no incentive/lesser incentive? I'd been looking to go infantry for the training and experience, as it seems to translate decently well into law enforcement - which is the goal.
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Anyone seeing AGSU/PinksNGreens in their clothing and sales yet? I did my Marlow White fitting but they’re behind on shirts. Looking to complete the set sooner than later.
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Leaving soon for basic at Fort Leonardwood. Do you all think I can get my ibuprofen snuck into the actual training after reception? I just need it for night. I'm a lot older going into basic and my body has been through a lot of wear and tear. It helps me sleep better.

I was thinking of sneaking it into the sleeping bag they issue and hide it on me when they do a random shakedown. I don't remember them ever patting us down when I went five years ago to Fort Benning. Thinking about putting them all in a ziploc bag. I just know if they find it that I'm done for. I'm leaning on not bringing it with me and just deal with it, I guess. Integrity has to start somewhere...
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Does anyone know when PCSing from OCONUS to CONUS if the ticket provided by SATO is any location or the airport closest to your duty station?
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How would I go about getting airborne school as a 19K? Am I able to re-enlist to go to airborne school? The nature of my MOS makes airborne school not useful at all. However I’ve wanted to go for years. Is it worth it asking my unit to send me? What are the options to get airborne for the novelty?
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I have an 18x contract. If I end up a non select or dropped from SFAS what are the chances of dropping a packet and going to RASP right after I get to a unit?
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I enlisted as 19d and ship off in a few weeks for OSUT. I heard from friends in and out of the army that the cav is pretty wild, parties a decent amount, and there is a lot of homo jokes and the like that goes on. Does that pretty much sum up cav?
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I am about leave for Basic here soon and I am confused as to whether or not I need to make my own copies of my birth/marriage certificate and other documents to bring with me? Or will they provide me with copies that my recruiter put in the system already earlier in the recruiting process, when I ship out?
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Can I wear an ankle brace at basic? Pretty young and fit overall. I was just wondering
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As someone who is shipping for infantry osut this month what pt test will I be required to pass for graduation? I know you have to pass one for the basic portion and the ait portion but considering by the time I get to the ait phase the ACFT will be the new standard will I be taking both? Thanks.
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Question for 173rd airborne folks: What’s y’all’s opinion if the 143rd airborne (NG)?
Question for SF folks: During the 2+ year process of earning your green beret, how often and for how long did you get leave/get the opportunity to see family?
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Will the 22 week infantry OSUT have less substance due to COVID? Specifically things like land nav or small unit tactics
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Recently learned I'll be PCSing to JBLM in January from Fort Hood. For those of yall who have been to both, how does it compare? Any recommendations for areas to live? I'm a single CPT aiming to live off post, potentially buying. Thanks!
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Does anyone have a recruiter POC for the Defense Attaché System? I've emailed two inboxes I found online and got no response. Thanks.
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Maybe this is a long shot, but I’m a reservist currently growing tired of the 25 series and spoke with a career counselor about going 51C. Other then the general information on the page, does anyone know anybody personally that has become a 51C? Tried reaching out to the emails listed on the website for some general questions with no response, I was wondering if any of you fine folks on here may be able to point me in the right direction!
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Currently interested in enlisting, unsure if I can say that I was never arrested or charged with a crime for an incident that happened when I was a juvenile because I was never physically arrested but a summons was written. The case was handled non judicially and when I went to pull the records from the juvenile court I was told I have no record does this have to be disclosed? I answered no when enrolled in ROTC and was never spoken too about it.
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In ABOLC if I am airborne qualified will they make me go to an airborne duty station as a cavalry officer? I want to stay in heavy unit duty stations preferably as an armor officer.
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Sorry, but what's PRT?
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Good day everyone, Quick background: I was recently medically dropped from USMC OCS for missing too many days because I sprained my knee. My knee is getting better and I hope to be 100% in the next month or so (really bad sprain). OCS didn’t really live up to my expectations, honestly, I thought it was going to be harder, and while I have the option to go back if I want to, I’m thinking about changing branches and going Army enlisted with an 18x contract because I really want to be challenged (yes, I know what a lot of you are thinking or want to say, but please, that’s not the purpose of this question).
Question: will the med docs from USMC OCS be transferred to the Army and if so, will that have any impact on me being able to enlist and get an 18x contract.
Thanks in advance for any and all help.
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Need help picking my mos Im torn between 11b-11c-12b. Theres a 20k sign on bonus for infantry but i would like to get involved with route clearance and IED's. Any help?
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Anyone here work as a 68K/68P/68C? I want to know how feasible it would be to go to school while being in this MOS (night classes).
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Hello, commo guy here. I have some questions about re-enlisting for a SF group support slot. I am currently at a base that doesn’t have any SF group support guys I can talk to in person.
  1. Do support guys get the MOS training for their field?
  2. Is there any downtime to work on college classes?
  3. I am currently taking medication for anxiety. Will this stop me from being able to support SF?
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I am shipping to my first duty station today but I haven't heard a peep from my sponsor and can't acess my military email. Is it normal for them to wait till the last second to contact you?
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Yo if I saw a counselor to help navigate what I wanted to do as a career etc 1 time. Like 2-3 years ago, is that going to mess with my chances of getting accepted?
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Beginning to date an 11A who has done BCT and OCS, and has Infantry AIT next. What's that like? How long is it? How much could we expect to communicate/see each other during that time?
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I'm currently serving as a 37F30 E6 in the Army Reserve. I'm reaching the end of interest in this MOS mostly because we have all but lost our fight for relevance. Active duty 37F want to be pretend commandos or spend time on embassy missions while reserve PSYOP is an endless glut of CTC rotations and functioning at a very low understanding of our place in IRC and IO. I was interested in making the jump to what I assume is more relevant for the future fight in the LSCO environment we are in now service-wide. Can anyone give me advice on the mos of 17E? I'm aware that 17C is a very hot highspeed MOS currently however I still enjoy being out in a truck with a small team and 17E seems like they get to do that more often. Any Advice on a career change to pivot to a reserve side MOS that has tons of relevance would be appreciated. Have brain will travel.
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What do recruiters not tell you before you proceed with the enlistment process into the U.S. Army?
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submitted by Army_Bot to ArmyWQT [link] [comments]


2020.07.17 23:38 TessaBissolli A close look at the story. Part 23: Geographic clusters

The first twenty parts of the series focused on how the narrative of the Blacklist crumbles on close examination, and we then recapped most of what we had examined.
Now we have started to look at the story that emerges behind the thin, crumbling facade. We started by questioning exactly what did Katarina do for the KGB, the cabal, and IF she really was a CIA officer, as it seems, what did she do for them.
But we should also look for the small, subtle elements that are consistent, that weave a backdrop for the story behind the charade. And no better place to start, than the maps, the geographic clusters.
Places that are used over and over, creating links between characters.
For those who insist the answer is that the creator or show runner or some writers are from there, that answers the issue of why the place, not why cluster those characters around that place. Like the issue of the shared Scott name. It was the maiden name of JB's mother in law, which tells us why Scott and not Jennings, but not WHY two characters share a middle name.

The Chicago cluster

the Chicago and Michigan clusters
Kate is the first character connected to Chicago. That is how we learn of her. Red gives Liz how to contact Kate in 1.10
The Emissary Hotel in Chicago. Mr. Kaplan.
Sure it IS a Hitchcock nod. But the fact is, Kate's is tied to Chicago from the very beginning, and it continues in Requiem when Kate tells Katarina over the phone where her sister lives:
Masha can't stay in a hotel that long. She needs a home. I can take her to my sister in Chicago.
A sister that apparently is later on living in Wisconsin, when she supposedly enters WITSEC for providing evidence against a Russian mobster. Another link between Russians and Kate's family:
that seems to indicate that Kate's family was Russian, or had Russian (or USSR) ties. And considering she, an American was happy to care for the baby of a KGB asset so she could go spy on America, chances are, she was also a soviet symphatizer, or as u/jay00212 calls her, Kap the Commie.
I am still intrigued by the bizarre scenes of Kate's mother funeral. Something is beyond strange:
1966

Another character with ties to Chicago is Katarina's mother, Lena Volkova AKA Virginia Lopatin King
Name's Virginia Lopatin. Married Tim King in '98. Lives in Chicago with a dog and a cat, three credit cards, and a subscription to Foreign Affairs.
https://preview.redd.it/chp188l8veb51.png?width=1158&format=png&auto=webp&s=f81d8db89477afcf415e71712ee07daa892f5e61
She also has a cover story of being Russian, migrating to the US in the late 1970s (but no accent):
I met Virginia in 1998. The love of my life. I-I knew it the moment I laid eyes on her. She told me she was from Saint Petersburg, uh, that she'd split with her husband in her 40s, came to America to start over, and spent the rest of her life here.
The third character with ties to Chicago is Tom Keen, who believed his name was Jacob Phelps, and whose terrible foster parents, the Phelps, lived in Chicago:
You stole the purse, Jacob. Like the credit cards and the Pontiac.... I'm surprised you haven't stolen more, considering the situation with your foster home.
the fake brother tells Liz:
I don't know his real name. He's got a brother in Chicago. I've heard him talk about a woman, Niki.
and as we see in Tom's social services report, he stole a car there to drive to NYC where he is picked up by the Major at about 14 years old:
I've been running since I was 14. It's all I've known.
Tom's social service records indicate his foster parents lived in Chicago

The most interesting aspect of it, occurs between New York and Chicago, for we have some connecting aspects, including in the timeline between Katarina's mother and Tom:
Tom's parents live in New York, where Halcyon's headquarters are. He, even without remembering anything from his childhood before been taken at age 3 (almost 4) steels a car at about age 14 and drives to New York, as if something in his mind pulled him back there. The Major picks him up there, and trains him to be a covert agent. Tom was taken from Ocean City, but it is unclear if that is ocean City in New Jersey or in Delaware.
The Major picks him up circa 1998/1999 at about age 14.
While Katarina's mother, who started up in New York in 1991, where she boards a ferry and assumes a new identity, Virginia Lopatin, and she ends up in Chicago, where she meets and marries Ted King in 1998.
but is the timing which is quite interesting.
there is some interstigigmovements
in season 7 we learn that Cooper was born in Chicago.
I do not think it means anything, for the paths of Cooper and Red cross until much later in life, but it works to keep the place in mind, as do the multiple mentions of the city:

The Midwest cluster (excluding Chicago)

https://preview.redd.it/925sr6pybhb51.png?width=838&format=png&auto=webp&s=1b6ac44bd5888cfb0722a2413318b33cfc65d4c7
There are a number of characters whose stories are anchored in the Midwest.
The most notable is Red, with his stories of Michigan, and the details of his word choices and even culinary likes.
Sam is the other character that since we meet him, back in 1991 was residing in Nebraska. Red says he has known Sam for most of his life. That is consistent with a childhood in the Midwest for Red, and a life there for Sam.
I've been friends with Sam for all of yours and most of my life.
and even what Katarina seems to have told Kate.
The question is how did Katarina meet Sam? I can see Sam having lived in other places in the Midwest. But how was his name not connected to anyone, so that all these years nobody could find Liz?
It has to be in Red and/or Katarina's real identities.
Yet another character in that cluster is Kathryn Nemec, who took the name Kate after 1991, and the surname Kaplan after Annie was killed.
Kathryn Nemec has deep ties to the midwest:
Kathryn Nemec is missing?
Yeah, she disappeared in 1991, just dropped off the grid. Lived at a few addresses in the Midwest in her 30s. Worked at an exclusive domestic staffing agency, but then one day she's just gone. - And there is no more record
If Kate was born as her fake ID suggest in 1953, she would have been in her 30s in the early 1980s, and she was hired by Katarina when Liz was near a year old, so sometime in late 1986 to late 1987, when she worked in Canada, where all the memories we saw took place until Liz was kidnapped in the Autumn of 1990.
It is possible Kate was older than that, but still not for much. She would have been working in the Midwest in the late 1970s to 1986/87 when she went to Canada.
Kate sister, If that story by Red is true, moved from Chicago, where she was in 1991 to Wisconsin.
Years ago, a Wisconsin housewife named Maureen Rowan was outside in the wee hours with the family dog, Dodger. It was absolutely frigid. No one in their right mind would've been out in that kind of bitter cold, and if not for Dodger's aging bladder, I imagine Maureen would have been fast asleep. But as fate would have it, her neighbor, Alexei Lagunov the avtoritet of a Russian bratva, felt given the late hour and windchill, he and his boyeviks could move a body from his basement to the trunk of an associate's car without being observed. They didn't count on Dodger's call to nature.
So Maureen had a choice between remaining silent or doing the right thing. She chose to testify. And while she helped to bring Alexei Lagunov to justice, she also forfeited the rest of her life in doing so. She's on that list.
LIZ: Who is she to you?
Maureen Rowan is Kate's sister-- uh, Mr. Kaplan's sister. I didn't need to find her. I just needed to make sure no one else can.
Outside of the mythology cluster, we have Donald Ressler, whose childhood was in Detroit:
Well, that's exactly what Tommy Markin used to tell my dad. They were partners-- Detroit PD.
we got to visit that part of Ressler's life in Brothers.

The New York cluster

https://preview.redd.it/1w0bk0wlchb51.png?width=1004&format=png&auto=webp&s=f8224b12bb5e41f6b71e746a3ee7a8343b918579
the next cluster is in New York, where we have the Hargraves, whose company Halcyon Aegis is located in NYC. They go to a Summer Beach house in Ocean City, but is uncertain if that is the one in Delaware, or the one in New Jersey.
The letter instructing Mrs Game to have her convicted killer son confess to the murder of Christopher Hargrave AKA Tom Keen, which stopped the official investigation into his disappearance came from a PO box in New York with 100,000 in cash:
Letter come special delivery. Return address was a PO box in New York. $100,000 if Richard said he did something he didn't.
Tom, at about age 14, stole a car in Chicago and drove to NY. There, the Major picked him up.

Dom's house with the blue door is in upstate NY, near Wilmington, NY, where Katarina supposedly got a PO box under the name Tracey Ivers as a communication set-up. A drawing of a house with a blue door is among Katarina's childhood things, suggesting Dom had this house since Katarina was a child.
https://preview.redd.it/rdovhl3xhhb51.png?width=1044&format=png&auto=webp&s=b11abe770a8bb59dc00d729883ba6a5c16cf93f6
Lena is also living near NYC in 1991, for she boards a ferry from Long Island, New York to New London, Connecticut in 1991, two weeks after the alleged suicide in Cape May of Katarina.
You're gonna take the ferry to New London, and then, you'll take the bus to Boston.

Red said he invested money in a play NYC in 1991:
I was completely swept up in the idealism of the theatre owner-- a pipe-smoking cream puff of a German named Gerta. She read "Mother Courage" to me aloud-- the whole play in one sitting. A brilliant exploration of the politics of war and those who profit from it. Sadly, it was 1991, and audiences were going in droves to see "Cats." Gerta lost every penny of my investment, but she remains grateful to this day. Her theater is ours as long as we need it.

Jennifer told Liz when she left, she was going to a friend in Long Island. Truth or lie?
I've got a friend with a place on Long Island. It's peaceful there this time of year. I could use peaceful.
and finally, the cabin where Red sends Emma Knightley is in Vermont, but on Lake Camplain, which straddles New York and Vermont, close to Wilmington.

The Philadelphia cluster

the Philadelphia cluster is the intersection of the wife and mistress of RR
Another cluster occurs in Philadelphia, another city often mentioned. This one connects the wife and mistress of RR:
The woman we met as Naomi Hyland is assigned to Philadelphia when she enters witness protection:
And by Thursday, we were in Philadelphia, fending for ourselves.
So, Garvey must have also had been assigned to Philadelphia at the time, a young US Marshal assigned to the case of Carla and Jennifer Reddington. It is unclear how he made them disappear, if he just did that, or if there was an elaborate fake death or crime scene created, as he did for Sutton Ross.
But the really interesting thing comes from the train station Katarina has Ilya meet her according to Rassvet: 30th street station.
There is only one train station of that name, in Philadelphia, which likely means the motel Katarina was staying was also near Philadelphia, and likely the shelter she was in in February of 1991, if we are to believe the newscast, was in the general area as well.
https://preview.redd.it/fnwlho58qgb51.png?width=1177&format=png&auto=webp&s=73b7c77a380ded466b2a3559895ddcceb0f04c76
And if that shelter stay was in February of 1991, before the fake drowning in March/April 1991,then we have a possible point of contact between the two women: They would have been in Philadelphia about the same time. The motel
If Katarina fabricated the treason evidence, but Carla is who went into Witness Protection, then either they are the same woman, or they met after Carla was placed in Protective Custody, when she reported her husband missing on December 27, 1990. Because after this, how could she have known about evidence that did not exist until Katarina made it?
a women's shelter that is likely to have been in the Philadelphia area
A shelter for women in Philadelphia seems the place to meet, if they are not the same woman, because Carla Reddington claimed to be terrified of her husband who was a threat to her and her daughter, while we know Katarina seems to have been in one of those, and had bruises to make it credible she was scared of someone.
there have been numerous mentions of Pennsylvania, and Philadelphia in particular. Not that they are necessarily directly connected, but they keep the location fresh in our minds:

The greater DC area cluster

https://preview.redd.it/frqe3v4clhb51.png?width=972&format=png&auto=webp&s=83d16422071fb42f5e21605f24c3a14b37d0a517
A cluster that is obvious occurs in the DC area, including Maryland and Virginia. The majority of the action takes place in there. But we have a few items of note, regarding the main characters.
Red blows up a house in Takoma Park Maryland, where he says he raised his family.
https://preview.redd.it/6512g2unihb51.png?width=705&format=png&auto=webp&s=e6d7e7a06700548982df9217c8b9c332fa8af86d
An address near Blacksburg, VA is noted in a fingerprint sheet of Raymond Reddington, dated 1989
Carla Reddington was supposed to have lived in the DC area before 1990:
He's looking for someone who lived in D.C. before 1990....Turns out Lord Baltimore's not looking for Mr. Reddington.
the cabin where Red takes Naomi after he ransoms her back from Berlin is in rural Maryland:
People that Frank and Naomi might have reached out to.
There's a woman Monica Lyons. She got six calls today, all unanswered. All came from a pay phone at a gas station in rural Maryland. Only a handful of homes in that area.
https://preview.redd.it/crm0gxjuihb51.png?width=1214&format=png&auto=webp&s=aa3cb21d083606bad77c1cef7ab160100c6bf772
and Ilya seems to be in DC:
https://preview.redd.it/ufzjds5xihb51.png?width=993&format=png&auto=webp&s=f18c2f67407d5d50c3acb8d4da529450e93cb9f4
Red's apartment is in Bethesda,Maryland,
https://preview.redd.it/xjz80ouzihb51.png?width=576&format=png&auto=webp&s=5a8dfce677c876ebade83f2fb778c0c2da444ee8
and he has a townhouse or apartment in Vinegar Hill, Maryland.
LIZ: What is this place?
RED: Something of a hideaway. It used to be home to one of the finest American writers who ever lived – Fredrick Hemstead.
A number of characters are also tied to DC: Alan Fitch, Peter Kotsiopolpus, Diane Fowler, tc.
Of course the DC greater area is featured quite often, as is the location of the task force, so is not remarkable. What is remarkable are the specific two mentions of Takoma Park, which kept the locale fresh in our minds:

The beach area cluster: Cape May, Ocean City & Rehoboth Beach

https://preview.redd.it/78u6009c4fb51.png?width=665&format=png&auto=webp&s=d29e126ac809e57f39bfc18333fefaeafa3b972a
Those are remarkably close. They link the Reddingtons, Katarina and the Hargraves. The two families would be renting houses, going for the Summer, at about the same time.
Think that Constantin blackmails Susan Hargrave with something she wants hidden. this creates another link.

Katarina supposedly went to Cape May of all places to commit suicide, there has been no reason given for it. But I bet there is one.
Two months later, she went to Cape May and left her clothes on the beach, walked into the ocean, and was never seen again.
There was a stay at a Dover motel Liz investigated:
I was taken to a motel in Dover the night of the fire. But I went there. It's a dead end.
This stay leads Liz to believe the fire was in 1991. Is this the motel where Kate was staying? or is this a misdirection again?
the hotel where Kate stayed at least from when Liz was dropped off, supposedly the night of the fire, to the time of the second call, about March/April 1991. Note her hot plate.

Rehoboth Beach is where Jennifer's parents took her in the Summer, a house apparently Liz remembers, or at least remembers being told it was "20 steps to the sand"
JENNIFER: The motel maybe. Or Dover. But not Delaware. My parents used to take me there every summer. To a house they'd rent an hour outside Dover - in Rehoboth Beach.
and when they get there, Liz remembers a phrase, and Jennifer notices Liz remembers:
JENNIFER: The ocean, the air. It all smells the same. The house we rented was right - There.
LIZ: 20 steps to the sand.
JENNIFER: You remember.
https://preview.redd.it/5ld6dvks6fb51.png?width=576&format=png&auto=webp&s=deed32f7b7b3cd07c86691e09135144f778c1444

Ocean City (be Delaware or New Jersey) is close to Cape May or Rehoboth Beach where the Hargraves took their son for the Summer, from where Tom was abducted.

What is interesting to me is how close those places are. In particular how close Cape May and Rehoboth Beach are. Right across a narrow bay. And how close to Philadelphia they are.
If I were to stage a fake death in the water, Cape May might be handy, especially with a boat moored just off sight, crossing the bay to Rehoboth Beach. A wetsuit worn under the turtleneck.
But in the newspaper we see about the fire in Rehoboth Beach, there seems to be something hidden about the ownership of the house. Why was that? To hide the real name of the family? The Reddingtons, or a trust to obfuscate their real identity?
whose house it was that burned was not easy to ascertain.
<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>
see the entire series:
submitted by TessaBissolli to TheBlackList [link] [comments]


2020.07.15 01:17 dragon2knight Poor experience overall with Carvana

Final Update: I just got the Yaris in....and it's seemingly not a piece of junk,lol. It rides fine, has all but new good quality tires, and everything seems in order. I'm having my mechanic check it thoroughly tomorrow morning, but all told it's a really nice car for it's mileage. This might finally be it...I hope :) I'm still sore that it took this long to get a decent car out of Carvana, and if I never call their advocate number ever again I'll be a very happy person....but of course that won't be possible---the car still needs to be registered in NY and they landed me once again with temp New Jersey tags,,,,sigh.... Again, wish me luck 🤞

Update 2: Well then. It seems like I'm not getting the 2019 Ford Fiesta. Carvana called me this morning with the bad (good...?) news that the car had "unresolveable" mechanical issues found out whilst transporting it......three guesses what that was....sigh....so I got tired of these excuses and found, seemingly by sheer luck, a 2017 Toyota Yaris. Only thing, it's got 80,000 miles on it. A pretty high amount for a three and a half old car (but understandable as it was a rental). Still, even a higher mileage Yaris trumps even a new Fiesta so I consider myself lucky to have found it 👍 Laughingly I got the same delivery date on the 22nd of this month, I'm honestly not expecting it then, so much so I'm not even taking a day off of work as I've got that little faith left in their delivery promises. It will get here eventually though, and I am actually looking forward to it. Wish me luck 🤞

Update 1: I just got notified (after considerable effort on my part mind you...) that they will not be issuing me a NY temporary plate when I finally take delivery of this oft put off Fiesta, nope. They will do what they did with the Mirage I had them take back, force me to travel over 90 miles out to the middle of nowhere New Jersey and take delivery there instead---and deal with an out of state NJ temp tag......wrong, just wrong. When I asked why all they could say, over and over, is that they are "overwhelmed with registration requests" for NY deliveries. and they're way behind. Funny, they don't seem to be having any issues anywhere else (with the exception of Washington State....but you folks know about delays there ahead of time). Why do business in a state you have no clue in how to do business with? I talked to local dealers and they are having ZERO issues with obtaining plates for their dealerships, none at all. They should change their company tag line to " Carvana, we are the EXCUSE company! "

I went into this knowing that Carvana isn't the greatest choice to buy a car with (I've read through all of the posts on here, good and bad). I honestly don't believe any bad reviews I read because they can just be the musings of a truly ticked off person....my, or anyone else's experience, could be better.
I went through the rather disjointed sign up process (they need to just say what they need up front, not as you go along, to smooth this process out). Afterward I got a delivery date and when that day came....they called me a few hours before it was supposed to be dropped off and all but insisted I take an Uber they would send me 90 miles to the middle of the next state over from me (New Jersey, I'm from NYC) to pick it up. It was more than an hours drive from my home. Only later on did I realize why they did this bit of trickery: they are supposed to by law have any car DELIVERED in NYC/S already registered before doing so. By forcing me to come to Jersey, I got landed with a NJ temporary plate and the "promise" of a transfer of my NY plates to this vehicle after the 7 day waste of time they force you to endure ends. You cannot get it earlier. Now realize that if you are trying to transfer plates in NY and you have to wait for the car you get to have the registration done for you, you need to pay a fine every single day till it gets done. It gets even worse if the car you ordered is a dud, as mine was.
It was a 2 year old 2018 Mitsubishi Mirage ES with only 9800 miles on it....but it looked like it had been abused by it's former owner with a chewed up center console and severely stained dash....nothing like the pics they showed. Add to this after a thorough checkup from a very good mechanic I found that the front passenger strut and the surrounding assembly had been damaged and not repaired. Whilst Carvana did indeed try to talk me into getting it fixed under their SilverRock warranty, I refused as the shape the rest of the car was in was pretty bad. So back it went----but not without a hitch, but with MANY hitches.
I got a different car from them (2019 Ford Fiesta) and was told to hold onto the Mirage until they could swap the two. Sounded easy enough. That was until they messed up the delivery date. I had to force them to send a truck out to pick up the Mirage as I had let Geico remove it from my policy on the day of the swap. So now they wanted me to hold onto it even longer, another full week(!!) and do a swap then. I said no way, pick up the Mirage or I'll impound it stating they didn't hold up their end of the deal and they finally got a local shop to pick it up. Took over 2 hours to get this done. To add insult to injury they scheduled the new drop off for the Fiesta a full 8 days later!! I had to wait a week already for it the first time! Horrendous customer service, simply horrendous!
As I type this, I'm still waiting for the Fiesta to arrive....I'm expecting issues, it's just the way they "work", especially if you're from NY. Much better out there folks, skip this burning down house fire called Carvana and visit your local dealership...at least you know where you stand with them!

submitted by dragon2knight to carvana [link] [comments]


2020.07.13 20:21 LearningIsListening A not-so-brief rundown of letters G-I in Jeffrey Epstein's 'Black Book'

Below is a rundown of letters G-I of Epstein's contacts. Last year, I wrote about letters A-C. You can check that out here (https://www.reddit.com/conspiracy/comments/cpis3n/a_brief_rundown_of_the_first_ten_pages_of_jeffrey/).
I also wrote about letters D-F on July 5, 2020. You can check that out here (https://www.reddit.com/conspiracy/comments/hlrba8/a_notsobrief_rundown_of_letters_df_in_jeffrey/). There are some misspelled names. Epstein entered their names like this.
I have bolded some of the more interesting connections and information, but there could be much more that I overlooked. I hope something here strikes an interest in someone and maybe we can get more investigations out of this. Please, if you know anything more about any of these people than what is presented here, post below. I am working off of the unredacted black book found here: https://www.coreysdigs.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Jeffrey-Epsteins-Little-Black-Book-unredacted.pdf
G-I
Gaetani, Gelasio: Count Gelasio Gaetani comes from one of the oldest families in Rome. The Gaetani (also known as Caetani) family has produced 3 popes, including Pope Boniface VIII. Gelasio is a wine specialist and vineyard owner who helps celebrities buy the most unique bottles of wine throughout the world.
Gaetani, Rufreido: Roffredo Gaetani was an Italian count, prince, and duke who died in a car crash in 2005. Roffredo came to the public’s attention when he dated Ivana Trump in the 1990s. Brother of Gelasio.
Gallman, Kuki: Kuki Gallmann is a best-selling author (5 of her books were global best sellers), poet, environmental activist, and conservationist. Owns a 98,000 acre cattle ranch in Kenya with her husband, which she turned into a conservation park.
Ganero, Mario Jr.: Where do we even begin? Mario Garnero is a Brazilian banker and entrepreneur who has been deemed the “father of the ethanol car” and is the chairman of the board and primary shareholder of Brasilinvest Group, a banking firm worth $700 million. Garnero’s connections run extremely deep. He is/has been personal friends with Jacob Rothschild, David Rockefeller, Bill Clinton, George H. W. Bush, Gerald Ford, Ronald Reagan, Henry Kissinger, Helmut Schmidt, and many others. The following website makes some startling connections between Garnero, Epstein, and others (source: https://aeltri.com/2019/02/12/john-of-god-mario-garnero-and-epstein/). Quick summary: Record producer Damon Dash (former co-founder of Roc-A-Fella Records with Jay-Z) allegedly raped a supermodel who worked for Naomi Campbell at a party thrown by Garnero (source: https://www.standard.co.uk/news/poshs-friend-sued-for-rape-6939248.html).
Garnero has been referred to as a “Rothschild pawn” who tried to help Aecio Neves rise to power. Garnero also appointed “George Soros frontman, Arminio Fraga, who worked in Soros’ Quantum Fund, as Minister of the Economy.”
Ganoza, Esteban Juan: A Peruvian businessman who said he met Maxwell in the 1980s when he lived in New York, but denied any ties to pedophilia when his contact information was revealed to be in Epstein’s ‘Black Book.’
Garcia, Ludmila: No info found.
Gardner. Adam: No info found.
Garland, Michael: Likely the Chairman of investment firm C5 Capital, located in London.
Garson, Jeremy: Likely refers to the lawyer who is a partner at Herbert Smith Freehills who specializes in large-scale international commercial disputes. Not completely positive, though.
Gaspar, Nacho: Not sure. Could be a number of Ignazio Gaspars, all of whom are businessmen.
Gaul, Harriett: Harriett Jagger is a fashion stylist and former fashion director of Tatler, a fashion magazine owned by Conde Nast (parent company of Vogue, GQ, etc.), which has come up several times during my investigations, and Harpers. She had a daughter with property dealer Simon Gaul, the Godson of Prince Rainier of Monaco.
Geary, Tim: Served in public relations and was Director of Membership at Soho House, a restaurant and private members club. Billionaire Ron Burkle owns 60% of Soho House. Burkle, along with Bill Clinton, Chris Tucker, Kevin Spacey, travelled to Africa for an anti-poverty, anti-AIDs tour on Epstein’s Lolita Express. Nothing fishy there.
Gelardin, Jack: No info found. The address listed is located in Chelsea, London, and sold for over 5 million pounds in 2013.
German-Ribon, Catriona: Catriona Blampied (nee German-Ribon) is the Managing Partner, Founder, and Owner of talent agency Procure Worldwide & Procure Digital since 2016. Worked as Managing Director at Platinum Rye Entertainment, another talent agency, before that.
Gertler, Eric: A venture capitalist who served as Chairman of U.S. News & World Report, a media company most known for publishing news, consumer advice, and rankings ranging from education (top universities, high schools, etc.) to job professions, healthcare, and too many others to mention. In 2019, Governor Andrew Cuomo nominated Gertler to serve as President and CEO of Empire State Development, New York’s chief economic agency. In Epstein’s ‘Black Book,’ Privista is listed under Gertler’s name. Privista is a company that protects against identity theft. Gertler was President and CEO.
Getty, Mark: Co-founder and Chairman of Getty Images, a photographic conglomerate. If you have ever surfed the Internet, you have seen several pictures/images belonging to Getty Images. From 2008-2016, Getty was the Chairman of the Trustees of the National Gallery in London. Grandson of Jean Paul Getty Sr., founder of Getty Oil Company, and one of the richest men in the world during his time. The Getty Family has a net worth north of $5 billion as of 2015.
Getty, Pia and Chris: Pia Getty is the daughter of billionaire Robert Warren Miller, an American-born British businessman and founder of Duty Free Shops. Pia’s sisters are Princess Alexandra von Furstenberg of designer fame and Maria-Chantal, Crown Princess of Greece, Princess of Denmark. Her ex-husband (1992-2005), Christopher, is Mark Getty’s first cousin. Christopher is also the grandson of Jean Paul Getty Sr. When they were married, Pia and Mark would hold A-list parties on the rooftop of their Manhattan townhouse. Their townhouse was located half a mile from Jeffrey Epstein’s mansion. Many people think that the Getty Museum in Los Angeles houses an underground base and city for the elites.
Gibbs, Emma: Former girlfriend of Prince Andrew. Gibbs was introduced to Prince Andrew by her good friend, Ghislaine Maxwell. Gibbs worked as a PR consultant.
Gibson, Caroline: Likely to be the award-winning freelance copywriter and content writer who has worked on a number of high-profile advertisements.
Gilifilan, Andrew: Managing Director of Europe, the Middle East, and Africa for Cambridge University Press. Retired in 2012.
Gillford, Lord & Lady: Lord Gillford is Patrick Meade, the 8th Earl of Clanwilliam. He is a businessman who is on the board of Soma Oil & Gas Holdings and Eurasia Drilling Company, where he served as Chairman. Eurasia Drilling Company is owned by Russian billionaire oligarch, Alexander Dzhaparidze and billionaire Alexander Putilov.
Gilmour, Andrew & Emma: Gilmour is a diplomat for the UN who has spoken out strongly against Israel’s treatment of Palestinians. Gilmour’s father, Sir Ian Gilmour, served as a minister in Margaret Thatcher’s first cabinet. Emma Gilmour (nee Williams) is a physician and author.
Ginsberg, Gary: Former Executive VP of Global Marketing and Corporate Affairs at Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp, the fourth-largest media group in the world prior to splitting in 2013. Ginsberg was a close confidant of Rupert Murdoch and Peter Chernin while at News Corp. Ginsberg also served in the Clinton Administration at the White House Counsel’s Office and Department of Justice. Ginsberg has brokered meetings between Rupert Murdoch and the Clintons, as well as Obama. Ginsberg is currently on the Board of Directors of New Visions for Public Schools, which designs course curricula for students in NYC. New Visions supports many schools, impacting 230,000 students (source: https://newyorkschooltalk.org/2019/07/at-new-visions-for-public-schools-its-all-about-continuous-school-improvement-hows-that-going/). Their Networks for School Improvement Initiative is funded by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. New Visions also has ties to the Carnegie Foundation, which donates millions of dollars in grants (source: https://www.carnegie.org/grants/grants-database/grantee/new-visions-for-public-schools-inc/#!/grants/grants-database/grant/312395808.0/). Ginsberg is also a friend of and speechwriter for Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu.
Gittis, Howard: Gittis (1934-2007) was an attorney and adviser to billionaire businessman Ron Perelman. He worked at MacAndrews & Forbes, an investment firm owned by Perelman. In 1995, Perelman hosted a dinner with Bill Clinton, Jeffrey Epstein, Clinton college friend Arnold Paul Prosperi, Don Johnson, Jimmy Buffett, and Don Fowler, who was the co-chairman of the DNC. More on Perelman later.
Giussani, Luca: President, CEO of Dorial Telecom, Inc., a telecommunications company.
Glanville, Mary: A philanthropy consultant who spent years in TV, Glanville also worked as a PR contact for the Bonita Trust which donated £100,000 to the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) back in 2009 to “update its ChildLine technical infrastructure and purchase essential equipment so that more children can get help from its ChildLine service” (source: https://www.prweb.com/releases/2009/07/prweb2625274.htm). Glanville was the author of that PR statement.
Glass, Charlie: Could possibly be Charles Glass, author, publisher, and journalist that specializes in the Middle East, but I cannot confirm.
Glentworth, Edmund & Emily: Edmund Pery is the 7th Earl of Limerick and was formerly known as Viscount Glentworth. He worked in British government until becoming director of Deutsche Bank. Emily is Edmund’s wife.
Goess, Pilar: A countess and Austrian-American model who posed for Playboy. Goess died in 1999 from a brain tumor.
Goldberg, Ellen: President of Santa Fe Institute, an organization in New Mexico that hosts faculty consisting of Nobel Laureates, members of the National Academy of Sciences, and MacArthur fellows. Goldberg is also a research professor in the Department of Biology at the University of New Mexico. Dr. Goldberg is a member of the Biology Advisory Committee of the National Science Foundation, and of the National Advisory Allergy and Infectious Diseases Council at the National Institutes of Health. Goldberg has a Ph.D. in genetics from Cornell University Medical College.
Goldsmith, Isabel: An art collector and owner of Hotel Las Alamandas in Mexico. Goldsmith is the daughter of Sir James Goldsmith, a French-British financier, tycoon, and member of the European Parliament.
Golinkin, Sandy: Former Vice President and Publisher of Lucky, a fashion and lifestyle magazine owned by Conde Nast. Has frequently been photographed with celebrities and elite at various parties.
Gomez, Thomas: Thomas Gommes is a former international corporate lawyer.
Gomme, William & Emma: William Gomme is a former director of several furniture manufacturing companies in London. Emma is his wife.
Gordon, Jacobo: Spanish businessman who co-founded several real estate and gaming companies with Alejandro Agag. Agag is a former politician in Spain. He became Secretary General of the European People’s Party (EPP), a tremendous political faction in Europe. Agag played a huge role in getting former Italy PM Silvio Berlusconi’s party into the EPP. Berlusconi has been charged for underage prostitution in the past. Agag quit politics to pursue financial and sporting interests. He is married to the daughter of Jose Maria Aznar, the former PM of Spain and Ana Botella Serrano, the first female mayor of Madrid. Guests at Agag’s wedding included kings and queens. Berlusconi and Tony Blair served as witnesses.
Gore, Juliet: The only Juliet Gore I found is the co-director of Neuro Orthopaedic Institute out of Australia. Doesn’t feel right.
Gottlieb, Steve: A music executive who discovered Nine Inch Nails, Pitbull, Sevendust, and Ja Rule. He has served on the boards of Napster and Musicmatch. He is currently CEO of Shindig, a Zoom-like platform for people to meet each other online.
Goulandris, Dimitri: Founder of The Cycladic Group, which invests and creates businesses. Spent 8 years at Morgan Stanley in its private equity group. Goulandris is the Executive Director and a Board Member for Knightsbridge Schools, which has 3 schools (KSI Montenegro [a boarding school], KSI Bogota, and KSI Panama), all of which are primary/secondary schools for students aged 2-18.
Grabau, Lorenzo: Spent seventeen years at Goldman Sachs before becoming CEO of Investment AB Kinnevik, a Swedish investment firm. He was fired less than 3 years after taking the position.
Graff, Francois: CEO of family-owned Graff, one of the world’s most notable jewellery houses. The company is worth several billion dollars. Graff has been photographed with the likes of Wilbur Ross. In 2001, there was a party celebrating the opening of a new Graff’s store. Attendees included Ghislaine Maxwell, Ivana Trump, Joan Collins, and Denise Rich (source: https://www.nytimes.com/2001/06/05/style/IHT-laurence-graff-and-his-pockets-full-of-diamonds-the-buccaneer-of.html)
Granby, David: David Charles Robert Manners is the 11th Duke of Rutland. He also goes by the Marquess of Granby. Granby is a high-profile supporter of the UK Independence Party and has hosted fundraising events at his ancestral home, Belvoir Castle. Employed Harvey Proctor, the former Conservative Parliament member who had to resign because he had sexual relations with underage male prostitutes, as his personal secretary.
Grange, Jacques: A French interior designer for the rich. Clients include Princess Caroline of Monaco, Francis Ford Coppola, Alain Ducasse, and several billionaires, to name a few.
Grant Jamie: Likely James Grant, owner of No2 Pound Street, an award-winning wine shop that specializes in British Cheese and cured meats. He and his wife previously worked at some leading hotels and restaurants.
Greece Princess Olga: Princess Olga, Duchess of Apulia (nee Princess Olga Isabelle of Greece) married her second cousin, Prince Aimone of Savoy, Duke of Apulia, in 2008. Olga’s father is first cousins with Prince Phillip (Queen Elizabeth’s wife).
Greece, MC & Pavlos: Pavlos is the eldest son of Constantine II, the last King of Greece, before the monarchy was abolished in 1973. Worked in New York as an investment portfolio manager. MC is his wife, Marie-Chantal, Crown Princess of Greece. Her father is the billionaire founder of Duty Free Shops. Her sisters, Alexandra and Pia, married into the von Furstenberg and Getty families, respectively. A dinner party was thrown for them at the Standard Hotel in 2009. There were about 12 guests there. One of those exclusive guests was Ghislaine Maxwell (source: https://wwd.com/eye/people/royal-standard-a-fete-for-princess-marie-chantal-and-prince-pavlos-2399957/)
Green, Deborah: No info found.
Green, Jeremy: Likely the former Chief Executive of Quba Property Holdings in South Africa.
Green, Judy: A New York socialite who hobnobbed with an elite crowd. She was considered Andy Warhol’s first muse. He did her photo portrait and she starred in his first movie, The Kiss. She was reportedly close with Frank Sinatra. Edgar M. Bromfman served as Best Man at her wedding to William John Green in 1964. Bromfman is the owner of Seagram, the beverage company. His daughters, Clare and Sara, were members of NXIVM, a cult that recruited women and forced them into sexual slavery.
Gregg Geordie & Katherine: Geordie Grieg is an English journalist and editor of The Daily Mail. Grieg is good friends and has been photographed partying with Ghislaine Maxwell. He is the former editor of Tatler, a Conde Nast-owned British magazine that is targeted towards the upper class and those interested in high society events. Tatler connections come up constantly in the ‘Black Book.’
Grenfell, Natasha: Daughter of Lord St Just, heir to a banking fortune and Wilbury Park mansion. Her mother was actress and one-time Tennessee Williams love interest, Maria Britneva. Natasha is a socialite who has is friends with royalty, actors, and musicians
Griffen, Ted: This is most likely screenwriter, producer, and director Ted Griffin. He has worked on The Wolf of Wall Street, Ocean’s Eleven, and Tower Heist.
Griscom, Nina: A model, socialite, TV personality, and entrepreneur who died earlier this year. Her first husband was a modeling booker for Ford Models, which I wrote about in the D-F section of Epstein’s ‘Black Book’ (link: https://www.reddit.com/conspiracy/comments/hlrba8/a_notsobrief_rundown_of_letters_df_in_jeffrey/). She went on to cheat on her next husband with sugar billionaire Pepe Fanjul, who is also mentioned in the D-F link above. Was a close friend of Blaine Trump, ex-wife of Robert Trump, Donald’s younger brother.
Gross, Pamela & Jimmy Finkelstein: James Finkelstein is the owner of The Hill, an American news website often cited here in /conspiracy. He is close with Donald Trump and Rudy Giuliani. Pamela Gross is his wife. She worked at CNN until 2017 and is close friends with Melania Trump.
Grossman Lloyd: Loyd Grossman is an British author and broadcaster best known for hosting Masterchef from 1990-2000, before it was reformatted. Also co-created Through the Keyhole, a British game show, with David Frost, who is also in Epstein’s ‘Black Book.’
Gubelmann, Marjorie: A socialite who is best known for hosting and performing as a DJ at high society parties. She has deejayed events for Bulgari, Versace, and others. She is currently the in-studio DJ for the Today with Hoda & Jenny show on NBC. Her ex-husband, Reza Raein works in oil. Guests at their wedding included Ivanka Trump, Tamara Mellon, Michael Kors, and Tory Burch.
Guccioni, Tony: Son of Penthouse creator Bob Guccione.
Gudefin, Christian: A financial advisor at Deutsche Bank, which as of Tuesday, July 7th, 2020, agreed to pay $150 million in fines because they ignored suspicious transactions made by Jeffrey Epstein (source: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/07/business/jeffrey-epstein-deutsche-bank-settlement.html?referringSource=articleShare). Gudefin is also a financial advisor at Fdx Capital LLC and Managing Partner at Confidas Capital.
Guedroltz, Solina & Nicolas: Solina is a photographer. Her father is a viscount. Nicolas is an antique Russian furniture dealer. He is a Russian prince and is of Belgian nobility through his mother’s side.
Guerini Maraldi, Alessandro: Chairman of Willis Towers Watson, a British insurance company. Guerrini-Maraldi’s name appears in the Panama Papers, which revealed the identities of many rich and powerful people who have avoided paying taxes through offshore accounts.
Guerrand-Hermes, Valesca: Socialite and ex-wife of French fashion house heir, Mathias Guerrand. Guerrand-Hermes is on the Board of Directors of the New York Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NYSPCC) (source: https://nyspcc.org/about-the-new-york-society-for-the-prevention-of-cruelty-to-children/people/). NYSPCC is a child protection agency. Photographed with Ghislaine Maxwell at the 2005 Wall Street Concert Series Benefitting Wall Street Rising at Cipriani Wall Street in New York City. You can’t make this stuff up.
Guest, Cornelia: Named Debutante of the Decade of the 1980s, Cornelia is a well-known New York socialite who comes from money. Her family made money in iron and steel and have served in British politics. In December 2015, Ghislaine Maxwell attended Cornelia’s holiday party.
Guggenheim, Barbara & Bert Flelds: Guggenheim (not part of the Guggenheim museum family) is a partner at the well-known art advisory firm, Guggenheim, Asher Associates, Inc. They have built collections for Coca Cola and Sony, as well as Tom Cruise and alleged pedophile Steven Spielberg. Epstein victim Maria Farmer once worked for Barbara at her home before meeting Epstein. Farmer got the job through Barbara’s sister, Eileen, who has been accused of being an Epstein enabler. A petition (https://www.change.org/p/david-kratz-eileen-guggenheim-must-be-removed-for-harm-she-caused-to-maria-farmer-by-jeffrey-epstein?recruiter=30424804) to have her removed as Chair of the Board of Trustees of the New York Academy of Art as a result of Maria Farmer’s allegations has over 10,000 signatures. Farmer says that Eileen Guggenheim forced her to sell a painting replicating Degas’s “The Rape” to Epstein. Two weeks after meeting Epstein and Maxwell, Guggenheim took Farmer and other art students to Epstein’s Zorro Ranch in New Mexico (source: https://news.artnet.com/art-world/epstein-ranch-art-students-1760265). Barbara’s husband, Bert Fields, is an entertainment lawyer who has represented the likes of Steven Spielberg, Bob and Harvey Weinstein, George Lucas, Michael Jackson, The Beatles, etc.
Guiness, Sabrina: Guinness comes from a long line of wealthy bankers. She had a relationship with Prince Charles in 1979. Cousin of Edward Guinness, 4th Earl of Iveagh, heir to the Guinness fortune. Edward Guinness’s wife, Lady Clare Iveagh (nee Hazell) plays a HUGE role in Epstein’s pedophilia ring. More on her later (she is listed under I for Iveagh). Her sister, Anita Guinness, was married to Amschel Rothschild until his suicide in 1996.
Guinness, Mr Hugo: An artist from the same banking family as sister Sabrina (above). Guinness has collaborated with director Wes Anderson on a number of films. Cousin of Edward Guinness, 4th Earl of Iveagh, heir to the Guinness fortune. Edward Guinness’s wife, Lady Clare Iveagh (nee Hazell) plays a HUGE role in Epstein’s pedophilia ring. More on her later (she is listed under I for Iveagh).
Guissaini, Luca: Listed above under Giussani, Luca. CEO of Dorial Telecom.
Gumberg, Ira: Chairman and CEO of JJ Gumberg Co., a high-end real estate development firm based out of Pittsburgh. Gumberg served on the Board of Mellon Financial Corporation from 1989-2007.
Guttfreund, Susan & John: Susan is a former beauty queen and notorious party thrower. Her husband, John, was CEO of Salomon Brothers, the large investment bank. He was dubbed the “King of Wall Street” by Business Week in 1985. He died in 2016.
Hahn, Dr & Mrs: Likely Carl Hahn, former head of Volkswagen.
Hall, Pippa: There are two Pippa Halls that this could possibly be. One is a movie casting director who was in charge of casting children for movies (source: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0356002/). The other Pippa Hall is Director of Innovation and Chief Economist at the UK Intellectual Property Office (IPO). There is not enough info to determine which one is in the ‘Black Book.’
Halpern Jen: A British philanthropist, PR guru, and businesswoman. Her father was knighted by Margaret Thatcher.
Hambro, Clementine: Great-granddaughter of Winston Churchill who also served as a bridesmaid at the wedding of Prince Charles and Princess Diana when she was just five-years-old. Her father, Richard, was a British heir and investment banker. K
Hamilton, George: Famous actor who took Ghislaine Maxwell to the Epsom Derby (horse race) in 1991. Epstein has a significant amount of phone numbers listed for Hamilton.
Hammond, Dana: Socialite and heiress to the Annenberg Publishing fortune. Hammond is friends with Ghislaine Maxwell. They have been photographed together at various parties.
Handler, Sharon: International attorney who is friends with Camilla Parker-Bowles and Prince Charles. Married to John Langeloth Loeb Jr., former United States Ambassador to Denmark under Reagan.
Hanover, Ernst & chantal: Prince Ernst Hanover is the head of the royal House of Hanover. The House of Hanover has produced six British monarchs, including King George III and Queen Victoria. The current British monarchy, the Windsors, are actually of German and British descent, which is why these family trees intersect. Most notably, the House of Hanover is perhaps the most important of the Black Nobility families. There have been some fantastic threads on Reddit about the Black Nobility.
Hanson, Brook: Adopted son of British industrialist, Lord Hanson, Brook died in 2014 at the age of 50.
Hanson, Lord & Lady: British industrialist who made a fortune in the ‘80s as a Trade and Industry Secretary in close friend Margaret Thatcher’s administration. His wife, Geraldine, was a former model. They are both dead.
Hanson, The Hon Robert: British financier and eldest son of Lord Hanson. Chairman of Hanson Family Holdings, a private investment firm. In the 1980s, Robert worked as a banker at NM Rothschild & Sons before returning to his father’s company. Before getting married, Hanson dated socialite Anouska de Georgiou, who became the first British woman to accuse Jeffrey Epstein of raping her as a teenager (source: https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/how-british-teen-model-was-lured-jeffrey-epstein-s-web-n1056901). Odd that Robert Hanson, his brother Brook, and his parents would have wanted anything to do with Epstein.
Hapsburg, Marie: Royalty. Her father was Archduke Joseph Arpad of Austria and her mother, Archduchess Maria of Austria, was a Princess of Löwenstein-Wertheim-Rosenberg and a member of the House of Löwenstein-Wertheim-Rosenberg by birth. The Hapsburg (also called Habsburg) family is one of the most powerful and wealthiest families in Europe. The Hapsburgs are another Black Nobility family of very high prestige. I couldn’t find anything out about her husband, Raymond van der Meide. They have 7 children together.
Harvey Victoria: Ex-girlfriend of Prince Andrew, Hervey is an English model and socialite. Although her relationship with Andrew didn’t work out, she remained in his inner circle. In 2000, she attended a dinner with Prince Andrew, Bill Clinton, Donald Trump, and Jeffrey Epstein (source: https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/9844083/lady-victoria-hervey-jeffrey-epstein-too-old/). Hervey is also a friend of Ghislaine Maxwell, who introduced her to Epstein and “set her up in one of Epstein’s apartments in New York.” Hervey is the daughter of Victor Hervey, 6th Marquess of Bristol, businessman and member of the House of Lords.
Harvey-Watt, Isabelle: Director of PR for Giorgio Armani before moving on to Versace and other well-known fashion corporations.
Haslam, Nick: English interior designer and socialite. His mother was the Goddaughter of Queen Victoria. Haslam claims to have had an affair with Lord Snowdon one year before he married Princess Margaret (Queen Elizabeth’s sister), further fueling rumors of Lord Snowdon’s alleged bisexuality.
Hatkoff, Craig & Jane: Hatkoff is a real estate investor, who, along with his ex-wife, Jane Rosenthal, and Robert De Niro, founded the Tribeca Film Festival and the Tribeca Film Institute. Hatkoff has donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to the Clinton Foundation.
Hauteville, Marc de: Manages Soc Civile du Frayssinet, a real estate company based out of France. There is very little information other than this. Both of his parents appear to be members of noble families - the Hautevilles and the Cazenoves - who have historical ties to the Du Ponts.
Hay, Henry & Patricia: Henry Hay is CEO and co-founder of Centaur Properties, a large real estate firm based out of New York. Centaur’s holdings are concentrated in the most expensive neighborhoods in Manhattan.
Hayworth Reggie: Heyworth runs the 160 acre Cotswold Wildlife Park, which attracts more than 400,000 people a year. He lives in the middle of the park at the Bradwell Grove estate. .
Hazell-Iveagh, Clare: This amazing thread made by clemanueverers contains all the info you need: https://www.reddit.com/conspiracy/comments/hkk5g0/one_of_epstein_madam_ghislaine_maxwells/. Quick summary: Hazell-Iveagh helped Maxwell and Epstein procure children using her position as President of West Suffolk National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC). Click on the link. Clemanueverers did a wonderful job.
Hearn, Barry & Susan: Barry is a hugely popular English sports promoter, as is his son, Eddie, who represents some of the biggest boxers in the world. Former boxer and popular Youtuber Tyan Booth was supposedly banned immediately after posting a video connecting Epstein to Hearn. I have tried to find the video or at least a summary of what he said, but have been unsuccessful. If anyone has any info on this, please post below.
Hefner III, Bob: Founder and CEO of GHK Companies, which specializes in oil and natural gas. Founded the Robert and MeiLi Hefner Foundation which sponsors educational trips to China for outstanding high school students. His grandfather, Robert Hefner Sr., served as Mayor of Oklahoma City, was a Supreme Court Justice of Oklahoma, was a member of the executive council of the Boy Scouts of America, and was a thirty-second degree Freemason. Although I try not to engage in speculation, this article makes a connection between Jeffrey Epstein, Bob Hefner III, and a winning Powerball lottery ticket that was purchased in Oklahoma in 2008 (source: https://www.thelostogle.com/2019/08/14/no-jeffrey-epstein-did-not-win-25-million-from-an-oklahoma-lottery-ticket-or-did-he/#comments). It’s too long to summarize. Read it and check it out.
Heiden, Lisa: Worked in Manhattan and London as an executive for ABC. Close friend of Ghislaine Maxwell. According to the fantastic research done by this person (https://twitter.com/Agent99Mom/status/1280580456400982016), two of Lisa Heiden’s properties are listed as an address for Ellmax, a company set up by Ghislaine.
Heineken, Mr. Fredie: A Dutch businessman for the Heineken brewing company. Was chairman and CEO from 1971-1989.
Helen and Tim Shifter: Helen is a former Vogue Magazine staffer. Tim is former CEO of LeSportsac and serves as Senior Advisor at Blackstone Group, a private equity firm. The Schifters are personal friends of Ghislaine Maxwell.
Helvin, Marie: Former fashion model and former girlfriend of Imran Khan, the current Prime Minister of Pakistan. According to her memoir, she knows pretty much any popular celebrity from the ‘70s and ‘80s.
Herbert, Jason: Likely a financial adviser based in London.
Hermes, Olga & Olaf: Olaf is a handbag heir. Olga is his ex-wife.
Herrero, Juan & Helen: Juan is like the managing director of an investment bank in Spain.
Hersov, Robert & Kim: Robert is a South African entrepreneur and mining heir who has worked for Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley, and News Corp. (owned by Murdoch).. Ex-wife Kim is a London-based fashion editor and designer.
Heseltine, Mr & Mrs: Baron Michael Heseltine is a British businessman and politician who served in various roles in government for British PMs Margaret Thatcher and John Major. Heseltine was a friend of Robert Maxwell, Ghislaine’s father. Heseltine invested in Conservative Parliament member Harvey Proctor’s business after Proctor was forced to resign after it was revealed he had sexual relationships with and took nude pictures of male prostitutes aged 17-21 at his home (source: https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/members-interests-top-tories-lose-on-proctors-shop-the-retailer-1445666.html). At the time, it was illegal to have same-sex relations with prostiutes under the age of 21.
Heseltine, Mr & Mrs: Same as above.
Heseltine, Ms. Annabel: Journalist, columnist, and TV and radio broadcaster. At the age of 22, she became the Assistant-editor for Hong Kong Tatler (there’s that publication again). Daughter of Baron Michael Heseltine.
Heseltine, Rupert: Businessman and heir to Haymarket Media Group. Son of Baron Michael Heseltine.
Hicks, India: A fashion model in the ‘80s and ‘90s, India Hicks is a good friend of Ghislaine Maxwell. Descendant of the Mountbatten family, a British dynasty (although much of their background is German). Granddaughter of the much-decorated war hero, Lord Mountbatten (Prince Charles’s mentor), who, according to FBI files, was “a homosexual with a perversion for young boys” (source: https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/9745399/lord-mountbatten-fbi-dossier-prince-charles/). Prince Charles is her second cousin and Godfather.
Hill, Anthony: Son of Robin Hall, 8th Marquess of Downshire and Juliet Weld-Forester, daughter of 7th Baron Forester. Couldn’t find any more info.
Himmelstein, Howard: Co-owner of clothing brand Camp Beverly Hill and a producescreenwriter.
Hirsch, Jeff: Owner of Foto Care, a shop that sells professional camera equipment. Claims he is only in the ‘Black Book’ because he sold an expensive camera to Ghislaine many years ago and had to go to her house to show her how to use it (source: https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article234312632.html). This, however, doesn’t explain why there are two numbers listed under Hirsch’s name that are attributed to Scott Geffert, the General Manager for Advanced Imaging at the MET museum. This could all be innocent or these two could have assisted in Epstein’s hidden camera setup and helped Epstein get high quality pictures of his victims. We can’t be sure.
Hissom, Robert & Andrea: Robert is the founder of Aspen Capital Partners, a large property management firm. He is a friend of Prince Charles. His ex-wife, Andrea, famously got remarried to Steve Wynn, billionaire Las Vegas hotel tycoon. Prince Harry was a guest of Wynn’s at his Encore resort. Andrea and Wynn are close friends of Donald and Melania Trump (source: https://www.pressreader.com/uk/scottish-daily-mail/20120901/281904475353844).
Hoffman, Dustin: Famous Hollywood actor. Hoffman has been accused of sexual assault on multiple occasions, including exposing himself to a minor (source: https://variety.com/2017/biz/news/dustin-hoffman-2-1202641525/)
Hoffman, Hetty: Married to Robin Dundas, Earl of Ronaldshay. Lady Ronaldshay is a patron and ambassador for Zoe’s Place Baby Hospice, a UK-based charity that provides care for terminally ill babies and children up to five years old. A good friend of Ben Holland-Martin (listed just below).
Hoffman, Jessica: Sister of Hetty Hoffman (above), Jessica is an artist and former model who married investment banker Leopoldo Zambeletti. She is a good friend of India Hicks (mentioned above), the granddaughter of Lord Mountbatten (Prince Charles’s mentor), who, according to FBI files, was “a homosexual with a perversion for young boys.”
Holland-Martin, Ben: Works for the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC). His mother, Rosamund, was chairman of the NSPCC for 20 years while Princess Margaret was President and was involved with the NSPCC for more than 50 years (source: https://www.newspapers.com/image/?clipping_id=36141343&fcfToken=eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJmcmVlLXZpZXctaWQiOjI1OTU4NDE2NSwiaWF0IjoxNTk0MzMwNTQ0LCJleHAiOjE1OTQ0MTY5NDR9.j1V2e0Mr3tJmPzusRYNneLVhUskWiIAvNIjdIpvuzj4). Both Ben and his mother are/were friends of Princess Margaret. Rosamund Holland-Martin (nee Hornby) was related to Charles Hornby, a British socialite and close friend of Prince Charles, who was sentenced to 2 ½ years for luring young runaway boys into prostitution, indecent assault, importuning, and living off the earnings of prostitution (source: https://news.google.com/newspapers?id=0FQ0AAAAIBAJ&sjid=YbkFAAAAIBAJ&pg=4638,2085303). Ben is also good friends with Hetty Hoffman (mentioned above), who is an ambassador for Zoe’s Place Baby Hospice.
Hollond Mr & Mrs James: James is a partner at EFP Capital, an investment and advisory firm. James’s mother married Baron Robert Rothschild after her and James’s father divorced. His now ex-wife, Beatrice, is on many investing firm boards, but most notably, she is a trustee on the Esmee Fairbairn Foundation, a charity that specializes in helping disadvantaged children (source: https://esmeefairbairn.org.uk/beatrice-hollond). If anyone has more info on these two, please post. Epstein has 10 pieces of contact information under their name.
submitted by LearningIsListening to conspiracy [link] [comments]


2020.07.13 03:30 splefkow1 How I pulled myself out of the gutter

I (26M) had definitely a huge regression in social and relationship skills during my college years. For many college is when they come out of their shell and make new friends for me I went into one. In high school I had a good group of friends was very active on sports teams(football and wrestling). Had no problem dating and hookuping with girls my age. Did pretty decent in academics. For college I picked a very big party school with good academics for that reason. Also it’s where a lot of my family members went and it’s where my parents met.
I Amit I went a bit crazy my first semester there. I was a bit out of control with the drinking and partying. I was having the time of my life. Sometimes I would smoke weed in the dorms with my peers. I knew it was wrong but I was ignorant at the time. Someone wrongly accused me of dealing and then next thing I knew the school cops where at my door. They found a grinder with less than a gram in my desk draw. The dean was out for blood and tried very hard to get me thrown out of that school. However my family where big donors and gave the school scholarships. So they would’ve felt the sting too if I got kicked out.
So the school hatched up a plan to make me want to quit and drop out voluntary. I was to move my dorm a facility 2 miles from campus away from my friends. I had to sign in every night at 10pm or risk punishment. I also had to complete 125 hours of community service a semester. Also if my GPA fell below a 3.0 they could place my on academic probation. I also couldn’t do a fraternity or get thrown out.
I begged my family to let me leave but they were not about it and wanted me to learn my lesson the very hard way. Unfortunately In that school if want to have a social life you don’t the Greek like or a sports team. I was miserable the rest of my time there and felt like a slave while everyone had a blast around me. Girls whom I hooked up with the previous semester would flat out ignore me once they joined a sorority. This killed my self esteem and self worth. For someone who was so social I became a hermit. I was too occupied with keeping my GPA up and doing community service. On the bright side if there was any I became very involved with going to the gym and fitness there as a outlet for all my anger i had being there. At the end I turned myself around there getting into a very good business school and my family was proud. However I felt like it was at the expense of my social skills and self esteem/worth. I told myself I would never go back to that place and give them any money.
After college I moved to NYC with a friend of my from high school. I was busy with work and business school. However I began to go out on weekends and began to socialize. It wasn’t like college where the Greek system dominated the social scene with no other options. I was a bit rusty at first to be honest talking with girls at bars. I felt like I missed out on prime development years in college. I was able to work through the rust and became confident again. I knew when girls found me attractive giving me the look to one talk to them it just was the conversation skills that needed work. I had one girl I meet at party tell me I was hot but was too awkward it stung a bit at the time. Actually I got that a lot and I didn’t let it deter me form improving.
I downloaded a dating app hands and begin going on dates. The first few were painfully awkward. But as time went on I got more into how it worked and my confidence and social skills began to grow. It also helped that I finally had a solid group of friends. Where in college I always felt like a lone wolf. Now I can finally say I’m back to my old self again. I still a bit angry for my parents making me stay at college and suffer my punishment. But in the end it made me much stronger both physically and mentally.
submitted by splefkow1 to socialskills [link] [comments]


2020.07.06 18:08 Civil_Fact Babysitting Mistake Confirms that I Will Never Have Children

I first want to let you know I've been living with a lot of guilt because of the mistake I made from the experience and after working with my therapist, I'm able to move on. Please do not guilt shame me because I had plenty of people telling me that I'm a "terrible monster" and "horrible person."
I was introduced to this psychotic mother through a friend. My friend said that the mother needed a babysitter in NYC because she was visiting the city for a gathering. I was unemployed at the time and the friend advised that this will be a good opportunity to get connected with the mother because she was "high ranked." I asked how old the child was and turns out they were 9 years old. I used to babysit when I was in high school and college, never had problems and actually enjoyed spending time with children so I said that I can babysit for a couple of hours.
A month before the planned babysitting date, the mother and I had phone calls to discuss her child and what I needed to do during the time of her absence. The day before the scheduled date, the mother called me and asked if I can babysit her child for a day. She didn't give me a choice so I just went with it. On the day, I finally met her and the child for the first time at 9 AM in the hotel. The mother then gave me an ambiguous schedule. She told me and her child that she will be back by 9:30 PM. She demanded me to put shoes for her child and made me open the hotel door for her as she left. Throughout the day, I made sure that the child got to see child-friendly exhibits, ate good foods, and even made craft activities. I also texted the mother every hour or so - updating her where we were, what we were up to, and how we were following her "schedule." I let her FaceTime the child through my phone and she told the child, "I will be back by 9:30/10 when you're asleep."
I didn't have a single break and I was extremely exhausted for babysitting an entire day. After dinner, we came back to the hotel. I made sure the child was dressed and ready for bed. The child didn't know how to brush their own teeth -- asked me to do it for them. I was kind of shocked because I thought 9 year-olds know how to do basic things. I tucked the child to bed. 9:30 PM hits and I texted the mother asking if she was heading back. She did not respond. I waited in the bathroom (bc/ the child is asleep in the dark) for the mother to respond. No answer. My battery was about to die. I freaked out because I had to make my way back since my home is 50 mins away from the hotel. 10:30 PM I texted again but still no response. I told her that I really needed to head back. My PTSD kicks in. I freaked out and I was confused. I made a poor judgement and left the hotel. 10:45 PM I got a call from the mother screaming and cursing at me. I told her "I'm terribly sorry." I apologized a lot. I told her that I'm on my way back since I was still in the area. She cursed at me and told me that she wanted me arrested. "I'm already at the hotel and I don't need you anymore. I'm going to call the police." She hung up. I was in the streets crying and having a mental breakdown. The mother then texted me long paragraphs calling me a selfish person on Earth and that she had the power to have be arrested and that I should be grateful that she didn't. I told her I made a terrible mistake and I was so sorry. I never meant to hurt anyone. She said that I deserved to be punished. I cried and broke down in the streets until 12 AM midnight. Thankfully, the child was safe and well.
At the end, the mother never paid me for 13 hours of babysitting. Almost everyone that I told this story to said that I should have been ashamed of myself and that I committed a serious crime. I made a mistake and I felt guilty, but I thought the situation was poorly handled and unfair.
I knew I didn't want to have children because I'm a trauma survivor and being a parent scares the sh*t out of me. But ever since this happened, I hate children and I firmly declared to be child-free for the rest of my life. Thanks for listening.

Edit: typos. Thanks everyone for understanding my point of view. The mother was definitely crazy and entitled. I found out that the mother is notorious for physically abusing service workers (even had a court case against her).
submitted by Civil_Fact to childfree [link] [comments]


2020.06.29 19:12 GhostedMouse My (28M) now ex Girlfriend (30F) of 3.5 years decided to ghost me and uproot her life by moving cross country to start over. I'm having a hard time grasping what went wrong and why she's leaving. We were talking about buying a house and marriage a month ago, how do I proceed?

This is gonna be a long post sorry in advance, and I'm not going to be surprised when it dies in new, writing this all out has helped in a way. Anyway's here we go.
M(30F) and I(28M) have been dating for the last 3.5 years and have lived together for the past 2 years. Up until this month I thought we had the perfect relationship, communication wasn't great, but we both were happy and she told me she loved me often. We even talked about starting a family and were tentatively house shopping for the past few months, all led by her.
Our relationship started off very casual and we had no intentions of getting romantic, but feelings developed and we slowly started to date more frequently, to the point where I was driving 20 miles to her apartment 5 days a week to see her. At that point, we decided to go exclusive and become BF/GF. At the time it made sense to me, but she took a few days to think over that decision before committing to it. On the surface, I always knew she had a hard time deciding things, in all aspects of her life. It took her much longer to get a degree due to uncertainty about which schools to attend and what degree to get, even when a decision was made she always ended up regretting her choice.
I was her first real boyfriend at the age of 27 (I was 25 and had been in several committed relationships in the past). We got along great and had an amazing time learning about each others hopes and dreams and their goal for life. After a year of dating heavily, I was convinced this person was my soul mate and the person I wanted to spend my life with. She seemed to reciprocate and dropped hints about getting married. Admittedly it felt a little fast, especially with her indecisiveness, but we started to look at engagement rings and I started to plan my proposal to her. I was smitten by this woman and was excited to start our future together. We both come from a very religious background, but both left religion in our early 20's, which definitely played on our mindsets and plans about getting married, even before living together. In the course of this planning, I approached her friends that live out of state and mentioned that we were planning a proposal and I asked their opinion on my plan. They were very surprised but gave advice. The next day at work I received a message from M that she was unhappy in our relationship and did not want to get married to me and that she knew what I was planning and that she needed to end it before I carried through with the proposal.
I was shocked, especially with her being a big part of me starting this process and getting ready to propose. We had a great relationship, really I felt like she became my best friend and someone that I couldn't wait to share every detail of my mundane day with her. She tried to break things off all via text and was reluctant to see me face to face again. She only relented because a bunch of my stuff was at her apartment that I wasn't willing to let go of. Our face to face conversation was emotional and I decided to write off our relationship as me being smitten and not paying attention to her feelings, rather than only listening to what she was telling me. I feel like she led me on for a while and thought she was telling me she loved me and wanted a future, she felt differently deep in her mind.
That breakup was harder than any of my previous relationships because I truly loved M and wanted a future with her. To prevent myself from making a mistake I blocked her on social media and deleted all our photos from the last year. Here's the kicker after a week of being broken up, she reached out to me out of the blue expressing regret and she wanted to talk about reconciling and getting back together. I responded that I needed time, at least a week, to think about this fully and discuss it with my support system. Long story short we ended up meeting a week later and emotions were high, we talked about starting to date again and ended up in bed 3 hours later. Thinking back on this we were both hurting and I know that she got scared when commitment started to present itself, at the moment she wanted out, but after a while, she regretted her decision (pattern).
Our relationship reconciliation was rocky at first and I was hurt, but over time was able to overcome this pain and start to build more with M. I was guarded in this process because I feared that M would change her mind with the flip of a coin, as she had in the past.
We continued to date and our relationship grew stronger, during this period because of our past I made it clear to M that I was not going to be the one proposing in this relationship and that she would need to take the initiative to decide to take that next step. This helped me ensure that I wasn't going to push her into a situation that would force her to make a decision, but rather give her the control in the future of the relationship. Time progressed a few months and we started to discuss that before we both wanted to get married we would want to live with each other and it lined up with her lease ending in her current apartment. We took the steps to find a great basement apartment that was 3 bed 2 baths in a great location close to both our employers. We signed a lease and were excited to live together. If anything, living with M helped me build trust in her again and let down my guard from the previous hurt, our relationship flourished.
Around that same time, M decided to change employers into a different career field because she was constantly being passed up for promotions and advancement and wasn't happy. Because we lived together and my career is in Human Resources/Talent Development, I assisted her heavily through this process. She ended up receiving an offer with an insurance brokerage that I had some connection with previously and was able to line up the interview. The offer was promising, it listed pay increases over time and was a significant step up from her current employer. When she went to give notice, her current employer tried to counter offer and keep her on the team. They suddenly had a manager position that had her name on it. Throughout this process, I was concerned that she might overlook the opportunity for the comfort of her current employer and this definitely didn't help her situation. The compensation was still much better at the new employer and when she asked for my opinion I told her honestly it's time to leave her company and start somewhere new, partly because logically it was the right move, but partially because I was sick of hearing every day about how crappy her work situation is.
She took my advice and moved companies, something I would regret down the line. This added a ton of anxiety into our relationship and it felt like we were starting to make decisions that were more suited for married couples rather than BF/GF (people that were 100% committed). She ended up hating that employer after a few months because she had a hard time connecting with her coworkers and thought of the work as mindless. I was hurt to see her back in a situation where she was unhappy. Around this same time, she was diagnosed with Depression and started to get medicated. It had been months since I saw happy M and was excited she was taking steps to better herself. The first year of living together flew by. We became more involved in each others lives, taking vacations with each other's families, traveling to new locals, and also talking about our future. Communication never has been our strongest trait in a relationship, I know most relationships have a hard time with honest communication, but I made sure to let her know often that I was happy and that I loved her and just wanted her to be happy. She would say "I Love you" here in there, but sometimes it felt like she was forcing it. I often would ask her if she was happy with things and if she was dissatisfied with our relationship, she would always emphatically say she was happy and that she wanted a future with me. I chalked it up to her being more introverted and avoiding communicating her love for me. Looking back now I can see I was foolish for taking her word for it.
We renewed our apartment lease and continued to grow together. We spent holidays with our families and went on more adventures together. At this point, I felt like I was in a marriage without the paperwork and rings (and commitment). I stopped referring to her as my GF and started to refer to her as my Significant Other because she was, we were more than BF/GF, and I felt like we were in limbo between dating and marriage. We started to talk more about our future and how marriage is the next step, but that I didn't want to marry her unless she was 100% committed. I basically put the ball in her court and sat down and waited. I stopped being the partner that was pushing our relationship to the next step and being the driving factor in it. Honestly, it was becoming exhausting being the one that was committed fully and waiting for the other person to make up their mind. Over the last year, her depression worsened and medication didn't seem to help anymore, I was concerned for her mental health and tried to do all I could to make things better. The person who was once excited for the next adventure just wanted to sleep all day after work and watch crappy reality TV. She refused really to let her doctor know where she was and didn't give counseling a try (she did have that text counseling service for a while but she canceled it because she wasn't using it).
I chalked it up to a phase that she would eventually fight through and be able to better herself. It was at this point that coronavirus started to pick up steam in the United States. We live in Utah and honestly were not too impacted by the outset of the virus, but as time ground on her employer (the insurance company) closed their office and had their employees start working remotely. I was also working remotely and had been for the last year as I work for a tech startup out of NYC. It was a breath of fresh air having M around the house all the time and for us to eat lunch together and not just chat via FB messenger. We set up a home office for her and we started to bide time till this pandemic passed. I was also excited because working from home is much less taxing than working in an office and I thought M would have more energy and start to get back on the path of happiness. That was not the case though, instead, she started taking more and more naps and it got to the point where she nearly refused to leave the house for anything. This is the worst point of her depression yet and I know that it became taxing on our relationship.
She didn't want to do anything and that included in the bedroom. I was confused at how our relationship devolved from talking about marriage and her showing me houses we could afford weeks earlier to the point where she started to pull away from me emotionally. During this time she started talking to her out of state friends more and more and believe me when I say that it definitely isn't the strongest support system. Both of her best friends are not in relationships and have their own issues that they often have projected onto M. Much like M had asked my advice on moving jobs, she asks them about every decision she makes and they're happy to provide their opinion on what she should do, often it's what she does.
This change in our relationship introduced doubt, depression, and anxiety into my mind. I started taking medication to deal with those issues and told her it was all about existentialism brought on by the global pandemic. Our love life became broken, her sex drive stopped completely and I felt like a monster when I told her I was horny and she told me to deal with it. Depression and her IUD definitely played a major role in this development. She relented a few times and she developed an attitude that she was just there to please me. Up to the point that I stopped bringing it up and just asking for privacy when the desire arose. So much doubt filled my mind and I developed insomnia, I felt like she was starting to distance herself and all the while she was telling me she loved me and wanted a future.
This devolved to a point where a month ago during a lunch break where we were cuddling in bed, she said we needed to have a serious conversation (no one says that if they want to tell the other person how happy they are). She told me that as she started to think about renewing our lease at the end of July she decided she didn't want to do that. I was confused and pressed her why she said that she wasn't sure she wanted to marry me and start a life together (something we've definitely have done) and that when she imagined her future she wasn't 100% I was the one in it. She said that she felt safe and comfortable in our relationship and that she wasn't sure if that was love or her settling. She expressed that she wanted to marry someone that gives her butterflies and she's not sure that I'm that person. I was heartbroken, immediately trying to bargain with her to consider all we've built and gone through, how we've grown over the last 3.5 years. She didn't want to break up yet but she wanted to let me know how she was feeling to give me an update I guess. To work through these issues I suggested couples counseling to really discuss this through. She immediately was defensive and said she didn't want to do that.
That weekend was tough, I made extra effort to spend time with her trying to help her see the good in the relationship and to fight for a future. Things didn't feel normal, but I definitely thought we could work through this rough patch and come out stronger on the other side. The next week started normally and I buried myself in work to get my mind off things. Wednesday afternoon came and we were eating lunch while working on some artwork together, she asked me to grab the masking tape from her office. As I grabbed the tape from her desk, I glanced at her notepad that contained a detailed step by step process of her moving forward with a breakup and all the reasons in the world that she wanted to avoid couples counseling. Chief of which is she feels like she doesn't need an outside professional to invalidate her feelings or to take my side. I felt dirty reading these notes, but snapped pictures to review later and see what is going on in her mind. I finished out my workday and went to her office door, caught her in the act of writing down more notes and smiling to my face asking what we should do for dinner and my birthday that is coming up (actually today is my birthday, June 29th). She covered the pad and asked what we should do, I told her I'm not sure and that I was going to go for a drive. I went to my parent's house and talked to my support system (my mother) and shared what I had discovered and what she had said the previous week. I also connected with my best friend who is a marriage and family therapist and discussed what I was thinking of doing with him. I came up with a plan of a 2 week separation period to give us both time to reflect on our relationship and whether it has a future. I was gone from our apartment for 4 hours, no text or call or anything from M.
As I returned home, M was eating fast food in the living room and watching reality tv (her normal routine). I went to our bedroom, packed a suitcase, grabbed my pillows, snagged my computer, and put it all out of view of M. I then took a quick shower and got ready to leave. I sat down with her in the living room and asked if we could talk. I basically poured my heart out to her and let her know that I still love her and hate to put her in this position, but that we need to live away from each other for 2 weeks before we are able to make this decision and discuss it with each other. I told her as of now we're on break and she can do whatever she would like, even if that means hooking up with as many guys as possible. I told her we would not be communicating and that she should take this time to explore what she would like to do. I let her know I'm going to be working with a therapist to help me understand the path forward I want to take.
The 2-week separation was extremely tough, especially after finding out that 2 days into it she had left the apartment to go on vacation to Chicago to spend time with her friends for a week. I say vacation because from my perspective she was having a good time being single. As we got closer to the two-week point we reestablished communication via text only and she indicated that it's been rough and she was looking forward to seeing me and talking in person. That devolved quickly to a phone call as it got closer to the time we were supposed to meet. I pushed back and let her know it felt like she was avoiding the conversation all together and that a phone call would turn into her reading a prepared statement and ghosting me forever. She felt that was unreasonable and that I was trying to push her into breaking boundaries she had set for herself. I told her I need more time, in that case, to speak with my therapist. The next day I decided with his help that a phone call was the starting point of contact and that I needed to make it clear to her that I saw it as such, not a last point of contact. I asked if she could talk on the phone and she pushed it off til Friday (June 26th). I was fine with that as I didn't want to push her anymore. As Friday came I attempted to set up the phone call, she of course tried to push it til Tuesday (June 30th). I broke down and via text let her know how I felt about everything and how I felt like she was attempting to ghost me because she didn't want to have the tough conversation. I let her know I needed to leave my parent's house and return home and she needed to let me know if she was planning on staying in the apartment or moving out. She broke finally too and let me know that her friends from out of state are coming this week to pack up her stuff and she'll be moving in with one of them in Washington DC. So much pain entered my mind and I felt destroyed, it felt like she resigned to having to make a choice to either marry me or GTFO and she chose the option that was easier. We said a lot of hurtful things to each other and I could tell she was being cold and mean to try and push me away to make this easier.
I was heartbroken and imagine that she felt the same. The next evening late at night we had a more honest conversation between us via text. She expressed regret and said that she's not sure that she's making the right decision to start from scratch in DC and that she's regretting the way she has approached this all. She even talked about how we might be able to work through this, and how we might be able to figure it out, but that it would be hard. I told her that this is all too confusing for me and that my heart wants her back, but my head is telling me to let her fall flat on her face in DC. I told her that we should talk in the morning after some sleep. Even the next day (this last Sunday) she expressed a desire to work things out and talk about the future. She asked if I would want to meet her for dinner, I relented and pushed logic out of the way and said yes. We planned it out and when we would meet. Of course, 30 min before I'm supposed to be sitting across from her, she backs out and says she needs to go through with her decision to leave and start over in DC. I believe she was influenced heavily by her out of state friends and going back on her decision would hurt her relationship with them.
I feel like she burned her last bridge with me yesterday after pulling that stunt. She got mad that I was putting doubt in her mind about the decision to leave and move cross country, and I broke and told her that she has doubts because she is indecisive and is making an irrational decision. At this point, I'm fed up and hurt. I'm supposed to live my family and stay away from her until she's fully moved on July 17th. I'm starting to plan for my immediate future without her in it, I'm renewing our lease solo because it's such a good deal. I'm meeting with my therapist 2 times a week, and chatting heavily with my psychiatrist friend and also my therapist friend. Everyone has said the same thing, even her local friends that have reached out to me. They're all shocked that she is acting so impulsively and it's uncharacteristic of her to do so. I'm concerned about her mental health, her future emotional health, and her financial health of moving cross country during a pandemic. I feel like for me to get the closure I needed to sit across from her and let her know that it's over. I need to be the one to end it at this point because I can't take her reaching out in a few weeks ready to talk and reconcile.
Please share insight on how best to proceed. I'm lost and emotionally drained. I feel numb, part of me feels like I can't go on, not without her, but my logical side says I need to put her in the rearview mirror. Thanks, for sticking through and reading my last 3.5 years!

TL;DR: My GF of 3.5 years who had told me she loved me constantly and wanted a future started to plan a breakup. I found out and pre-empted it with a separation period. Now she's ghosting me and has decided to close down her life in Utah and move across the country away from many family and friends. I'm confused and so are her friends, this is super uncharacteristic of her, and very impulsive.
submitted by GhostedMouse to relationships [link] [comments]


2020.06.27 02:06 baby_meatus Would anyone want to read the rest of this story? Should I turn this in to a book?

How would I expand this? I want to write a book.

Junior year of University, I was approached by M(atty)M(oe) he was goading me to apply to a community service organization, the Bonner program, which rewards students accepted with a $5,000 check. Reluctantly, I applied and shockingly I was accepted into the program, which also included the aforementioned scholarship. Upon receipt of the scholarship check I stood at my mailbox for about 10 minutes $5000 seemed like a small fortune to me, a check of $5000 was almost license to drink myself into oblivion, or throw my fraternity a party completely funded by yours truly.
Nervously, I walked over to the registrars office of Stetson University and said; "Ummm I believe you’ve made a mistake, this check does not belong to me…" They tell me in return, "No that’s your award for being accepted into Bonner."
My head was spinning from the absolute good fortune of doggedly pursuing the philanthropic streak in me, and heeding MMs advice. I was trying to decide what to do with the money; "I could throw my fraternity a party…I could invest it, but any investment right now is suicide…I could buy a motorcycle…" I decided to go with motorcycle, not immediate suicide, I would at least get an dopamine rush on a daily basis. I might even attract a few girls!
Side note: the 'investment option" would have been the best option, I was presenting the equity: SNA, to the board of trustees for purchase into the school endowment portfolio, at time of check receipt, SNA (Snap-On), the equity I was presenting, was trading around $30-35/share (it touched $29/share on the day I made my presentation). At time of writing SNA was trading at $183.59/share. Upon receipt of the scholarship money that was gifted to me, for my good deeds towards humanity, I could have bought 5000/35 = 142 shares of SNA, 142*183=~$30,000. Though no (not) sane 20 year old kid would want to lock their money up for eternity and buy stocks and bonds, that is for old people… like 25 year olds.
I went down to Deland Motorsports with my best friend to browse a few insane 'crotch rockets,' Id learnt that an I-4, or inline 4 cylinder, motorcycle would be vastly overpowered for a 'squid*. Accepting this, I decided on a , very powerful Suzuki SV650s, a sane choice for a "noob."
*squirrely kid
With the final signature of some loan document (stupidly I wasnt not paying very close attention to the verbiage, or amounts - pretty incredible for a finance major) a sudden Dopamine wave went through my body. Holy shit, I thought, do I own another motor vehicle? Im going to get so many girls(!) but I am dating JL… Perhaps her friends will badger her incessantly, and she'll cave and bring another girl into the mix.
None of that happened. Though I did hook up with one if the 'hottest' girls at Stetson, MC, and she specifically said: "you look so 'hawt' riding your motorcycle back from intramural Soccer games, shirtless." Which I interpreted as a flirtatious vote lauding the purchase of that death machine, exactly the type of thing I had in mind when making the purchase. Then there was CZ, Im fairly certain she didn’t have a sexual motivation activated by the motorcycle, this was just a girl who was 'thirsty.' The summer between Junior and Senior year I was selected (incredibly) for an internship with Morgan Stanley, I remember getting the call, in April 2007:
"Hello, could we speak with Nicolas Uppal?"
ohhhh shit what did I do now? "Speaking" I said
"Congratulations Nicolas! You’ve been selected to be a Junior Financial analyst with the GWMG group at Morgan Stanley! You have two options: Beverly Hills or Downtown LA"
All my friends and family can tell you how I was constantly professing to 'adore city life,' and how 'I felt empty if I did not see anything in the sky.' However, the option laid out in front of me required some deliberation, time I did not have. "Uh uh uh Beverly Hills" I blurted out.
"Excellent choice we will send you a confirmation email with the next steps included. Welcome aboard."
Holy sh!t, I thought, im a rising Senior and I already have employment plans.
I immediately called my mother, and let her know the great news.
"I hope you & BPJ approve of this." Quickly explain the Morgan Stanley tale.
"Bien sur que il va etre excite, et mois aussi!"
"Awesome, I have class, talk to you soon, love you."
And with that I thought my future was coming together. I putted around campus for the remainder of my Junior and Senior years, occasionally riding out to Daytona beach, thinking: "this is so cool thank god for this helmet though, I didn’t have the cash to buy one there! Im glad the dealer included one with the sale." That call came at the perfect time to fully let loose over spring break.
For Spring Break; I went to Key West with GA, EM, CF, and DS - we had a blast. I don’t think there was a 5-minute space when all 5 of us were not drunk or high. Then, GA and I had the brilliant idea of renting 49cc scooters and terrorizing Duvall St. We were wrong, Duvall St. terrorized us, EM got into a fight with a bouncer at some popular bar on the strip on Duvall St. EM destroyed him, he just sat on the entrance steps as all 5 of us stumbled in, then 10 minutes and 5 drinks later, we stumbled out, mounted our scooters and safely made it back to our motel, this episode only reinforced my feeling of being invincible.
The next day GA and I were racing on the mopeds around Key West, seeing some traffic up ahead I decided to ramp on to the sidewalk and ride on the sidewalk and 'bunnyhop' down off the sidewalk, thus ensuring my victory. GA pulled up next to me laughing his ass off, from that point forward it didn’t matter if we were drunk, high, or both - we were jumping off sidewalks. Amazingly, none of us went down, except for CF who gave the scooter too much throttle on the sand, lost the rear end and the scooter fishtailed out from underneath him in some sand. Schadenfreude, I thought. Good thing im (slightly) more skilled at riding scooters.
We then had our final night out, just got really drunk didn’t do anything to prepare for the ride back up to Dea(d)land, and await the final 2 months of school.
In the final 2 months of Senior year I attended Ultra Music Festival, I was so in to progressive house and was known around campus for my love affair with House music. In fact DS and I hosted a radio show called "Techno story time," where we would 'drop' the sickest track we had heard during the previous week, and between tracks I would tell an 'R'/'X' rated story of the debauchery. Looking back on this, I must've seemed like such a douchebag, literally kissing and telling whoever had the misfortune of tuning in. Ultra (UMF) was in Miami a 7 hour drive, too pusillanimous to take 'Brutus,' (I wanted to keep him in excellent condition, keep the mileage low) I decided to take the motorcycle.
I recall that going to Miami on a motorcycle was so draining, but as always I was able to overcome that challenge and arrive in Miami with time to spare. I crashed on JLs brothers couch at UM, what an awesome guy for putting up with a smelly, dirty guy who was banging his sister. Damn, in retrospect, I cant really forgive myself for breaking up with JL a year later
At Ultra Music Fest had an awesome time, I didn’t do any drugs, get drunk, or makeout/flirt/hookup with anyone else or smoke Cannabis (although you could smell the cannabis smoke 2-3 miles away). On the drive back, I decided to go as fast as I could (actually I just really really missed JL and wanted to get to Stetson sooner) I remember having the bike at 135 MPH (engine speed limit, were it not for that or I wouldve gone much faster - so that speed limiter was a good thing) for ~30 minutes on the long and boring interior highway FL91. 91 to I-4 to US 17 to JLs arms!
The final 2 months until graduation were essentially a self-imposed retirement; I had no projects due, no finals and before leaving to Ultra Fest '09 I had just given my bond presentation. I was a free man - with no employment lined up. The drawbacks of going to a small, unknown and not-well-connected-outside-of-Florida school were beginning to become apparent
During graduation, I don’t know why I was so somber, I stuck around after graduating for a few nights to party with the boys and be with JL before I departed towards the unknown of adulthood. Upon returning to Atlanta I just assumed that I would be able to 'crash' in my old room, without having a job. Luckily, about 4 months in to my joblessness my great friend from school KD was able to hook up an interview for me with his company, AT&T. I interviewed well, but I really think KD had it already arranged to have me hired, they just wanted to vet me. I interviewed and was subsequently hired to do some business analytics/data cleaning. While working at AT&T I did great work making fun of my superior AM, however, I was not entirely clear on my task. I know I was supposed to measure the times from product purchase to online implementation. Beyond that, However the work was a sinecure until I was hired by MS. We moved buildings, 1 block to a massive, wide open cubicle farm, there may have been ~1000 cubicles in that room - and my cubicle was positioned so that the screen of my computer was visible to everyone who walked in.
Despite being assigned to a less than desirable spot. I worked, not hard but I made sure I completed all my tasks. About 2 months into my 'shafting' I decided to fly to FLL, Ft. Lauderdale, to visit JL, I missed her so badly. I didn’t just miss the sex, I missed the affection, I missed the unconditional love. I had no idea what it was that drew me so close to JL, but I kept going to her. While I was visiting JL she suggested that we go to a dog racing track, having only been to one before, I went to a dog racing track in Daytona Beach with AGs dad and my BFF NB, I agreed the event was not too memorable. However, on the drive back from the track I received a call from the connection I made during my internship with MS, the Managing Director of HR, CNG.
CNG informed me of a position in Coral Gables, Miami FL working with one of her friends JFG. Since I was already in Naples, 90 miles from Miami, I replied with: "I can be there to interview in two days…" With that I experienced another endorphin rush, I ffelt like my future was being laid out in front of me, I just had to secure this job, work my ass off, endure a few years of menial pay until I am promoted to 'Associate' and pay for JL to move in with me. This was especially alluring to me because it seemed like my best friends were getting amazing jobs; RL (my best friend) was working at a PE shop in ATL, and my good friend MS was consulting with McKinsey in Dubai, then again they went to awesome schools Emory and Wharton, respectively.
After my interview with JFG I drove back to Naples for a night before flying back to Atlanta,. It finally felt like I was entering adulthood. I got the position in Miami, I then attempted to put in my two weeks at AT&T when I tried to put in my two weeks my supervisor, AM, said: "No need, you don’t need to come back tomorrow." So with that I was a free man for 2 months, it felt eerily similar to finishing Stetson. I set about organising my departure and move to Miami.
I quickly realised that I was too poor to remotely make a down payment on a condo sight-unseen, so I meekly implored JL to ask her brother, RL, to allow me to crash on his couch for '1 week at most.' I felt like such a bum, living in the UM dorms, working for MS but not having a place to call my own. I had to make a change, so I went around my office asking if anyone needed or knew of anyone who needed a roommate. Luckily, a friend of my then boss, JFG, also had an analyst on his team, RM. We met and quickly agreed to cohabitate an apartment.
Living with RM was fairly easy, he was a very agreeable roommate, I think I pulled the best hand out of the deal,I made sure I got the master suite of the apartment while paying 10% less than RM, I feel like an asshole thinking back on it - but capitalism makes you do things against your human nature. We got into an ok apartment if it were not for the recession of 08-09 we would have never been able to afford it.
About 2 months after I finalized living with RM, Ultra '11 was gearing up, knowing that I was not earning enough to afford a $230 ticket, I begged JL to buy the ticket for our 2 year anniversary. She did! I thought; oh man I love this girl so much, I cant wait to spend the rest o my life with her. My friends GA and DS also were at UMF '11, we had a blast. None of us got too high, drunk or messed up, and strangely I never got GA or EM back to my apartment even though it was 2 blocks from Bayfront park.
I recouped for 12 hours, slept off the alcohol and cannabis, and showed up for work that Monday, probably looking like shit. A few months later, I decided to look up my Boss during my internship, GD. When we connected he was so glad to hear from me, he was unsure if I had been hired. Two calls later he gave me two things: a task to test a Mercedes E55 AMG(we were both gearheads), a job offer in Beverly Hills. Having just the task to test drive the car wouldve been enough, but a job offer in LA? My mind began racing, I had a flexible start date so I was able to gradually close things out and speak with my portfolio manager. Although a favor was called in to get me hired, JFG had no qualms about letting me go.
A month later I went out for my birthday with KG, we werent dating but she had an enormous crush on me, infact she came to Stetson to visut me, much to the chagrin of Jenny. We went to a few small bars, and ended up at club LIV, it was there I met the most beautiful girl I ever laid eyes on, Viviane G. from Rio, much to my amazement she was in to me as well (probably because at the time I had a head of black hair, this made me look like a Brazilian model). Vivi (as I called her) and I hit it off we spent the rest of my time in Miami together, we never kissed, this is why I felt ok staying with Jenny.
Then, a car and yacht show, 1 block from my apartment spurred the motivation to call and break up with Jenny, strangely. I thought Vivi was the woman of my dreams, I didn’t take in to consideration everything Jenny, and her family, had done for me
I took 2 months to finish up in Miami, going out every night to get the last feel of Miami nightlife before I ventured out to the great unknown west. Once again, like in Miami, I arrived in LA and had to 'crash' on my moms good friend LDs guest bedroom, until I got my situation squared away. I was able to quickly secure an apartment 2 blocks from Hollywood Ave., with a view of the Hollywood sign. "Oh man," I thought "I must be the flossiest Stetson graduate right now." I soon came to learn that DS was in LA too, we linked up and I found my smoking/drinking partner while I was in LA.
Work in the Beverly Hills branch of Morgan Stanley was not overly intense, I was just working with a few extra figures. This increase in amount magnified any mistake I made, and I made quite a few mistakes, luckily these were only mistakes on internal reporting documents my managers (one in Beverly Hills and the other in Boston) were pretty cool with it, but still pointed these mistakes out. I remember the team assistant, AT, being so gorgeous, she was taken, or I wouldve been all over that, I wanted to marry her. There were three women that I wanted to marry: 1 - Vivi, 2 - Jenny, 3 - AT
About 2 months in to living in Los Angeles AT, told me about the website Thrillist. I thought "wow Thrillist is so cool, all these awesome events…wait whats thus 'Rental Car Rally?'" The more I read about it, the more I became supremely interested and thought, oh man my friend GA would be PERFECT as my co pilot. I kept thinking about all the hijinks we would get in to, and the speeding, and the (name your debaucherous activity here). GA flew out to LA, we secured a rental Camaro SS coupe and headed for the rally.
We get to the staging area and we see a flood of other cars, buses, and people dressed in ridiculous outfits "this is going to be too much fun!" we said to each other. As the staging process moves on we see some incredible car decorations, and at the end of the pre-rally warm up we are given the option to race on a circle track, being the speed demons that GA & I were, we A B S O L U T E L Y took full advantage of that option. There was no passing allowed, and a quarter track length between each racer. We stage in line - our turn comes up and I bury the throttle, the rear tires barely having grip as we rocket onto the track, I didn’t dare to go above 125 MPH sine I was unsure about the condition of the tires. As we finished what was essentially a penis-size competition, I decided to do an enormous burnout in the middle of the track. After that burnout we were off to the races.
The rally was set up as a series of checkpoints, you have to take a photo at each checkpoint for proof you were there. First checkpoint: LA Zoo. Going to a zoo during the day is interesting, and smelly. At night however, its frightening different sounds and screams from other ralliers in the distance, we took a photo and drove, withi the speed limits, o course, to the next check point. This checkpoint was an abandoned ski lodge, perfect for messing around on abandoned ski lifts. After the ski lodge, we vebtured out into the desert, we only had 1 checkpoint between the LA Zoo and Vegas, and that checkpoint was on the very western edge of Nevada, a brothel - GA said he had no interest in buyin their "product," I remarked to GA how sad I as that I didnt "dip my pen in Dutch ink" while I was in Amsterdam with KD, yet I too was leery of getting some western Nevada 'strange.' We terorized a few trailer parks, doing insane burnouts and leaving the trailer parkhood in dust.
GA and I get to the strip, our rental Camaro SS was filthy, but we gave no fuc*s. We pull up the crappy little off-strip motel, a motel that was likely used by the hookers around Las Vegas, toss our bags on the floor and crashed for about 4 hours. Our room was right be the Lima Bean shaped pool so we could hear the fellow ralliers horsing around by the pool. Greg gets up, looks out the window, tosses me a Natural Light and says; "the only way to detox is to retox muthaf*****!"
To which I replied :"that’s excellent, but first pack a bowl beforeI shower to get this wester Nevada hooker scent off me…"
We both get out to the pool and EVERYONE rom the starting line is there, they were all really really drunk. Since I was a little tired, and wanted to be on my game for gambling that night, I didn’t drink or smoke. The night rolled around and we rustled up some grub on the strip, then we went to MGM to gamble: "Im not putting more than $50 down for chips…"
"Cool, imma do $100, you broke bitch" GA said.
We decide to play some slots (yawn), some Roulette (yawn), then I said I wanted to play some BlackJack. We walked up to the black jack table, waited for the dealer to reshuffle, and jumped in. I felt really smart so I thought I could count cards, after a few hands I started to turn a $5 to $10 to $20 profit, leaving me with $50, the exact same as I started with I thought: "ok, I can quit now, or go for glory, and put 80% down…" Me being the dumb kid I was, I decided to put $40 down and risk it all.
"ohhhh the little piker thinks hes got game!?" The dealer said
"Ehhhh" I replied
The cards come out and I get a 9 and a King.
"I bet you want a hit…"
"Nah, the only hit im taking will be the hit of Cannabis I take after I win this hand"
"Ok kid"
The dealer got a 5, Queen. "I bet you want a hit…" I said in a snarky tone
He took a card, a 7.
I said: "Id like to close out, please"
"Awwww poor kid cant play!?"
"Id like to close out, please"
"Ok tough guy"
I take my chips, get them cashed, and wound up with $95. I turned to GA: "I see how this can get addictive, I turned a 90% ROI!"
"We both laughed, piled into the Camaro, and GA drove us back to LA. GA hung out with DS for an extra day in LA while I was at work - about a month went by before my portfolio manager GD told me I needed to get to Boston to meet the other half of the team, I had only spoken to AS & SG on the phone, trying to explain how to use my messed up spreadsheets. Upon the meeting I figured: "Im already in the North East, I will swing down to NYC to visit RL, RN & MS.
The first night we were itogether, we just went out, got drunk, went to MS' friends apartment, but she wasn’t home yet. So MS and I decided to sleep, on the loor, in front of her door in a fairly swanky Upper East Side apartment. Early that morning MS and I were both awoken by a securoty guard kicking our feet: "uhhhh whats goin on here?"
"oh, sorry we got locked out by our friend she didn’t come home last night, do you all have a lounge?"
"yep, to the right of the front desk"
"Awesome, thank you"
MS and I slept on couches (what a luxury until JP came home. We got cleaned up and I grabbed my bag and went to MS, RN, and RLs apartment. Except it was a 2-bedroom. RL has converted a narrow, but very tall closet into a bedroom/loft. RL and I had been friends since high school, so I felt ok asking him if I could toss my stuff in his room. It was Saturday night, so we all got cleaned up, grabbed a pizza ate in, and got hyped for Saturday night.
"Where should we go?" asked RN.
Me:"I really wanna go to Pacha near westside highway! I get a podcast every week by them, and they have awesome music!"
RN asks:"Ok, everybody cool with Pacha?"
MS:"I wanna hit a college bar, maybe we go there to pregame, then Pacha?"
Me: "yeah that sounds splendifferous"
We set out, at the college bar, I ended up taking 3 shots and I was done for, I cant remember a thing. I stumble up to the bar and ask or a Heineken. "Ohhh is that for me?" An unseen girl asked
"Sure, if we go home tonight."
"OK"
Not being able to believe my ears, I turned around and I see this really cuteAsian girl with her hand out.
"hmm youre pretty thirsty huh?"
"Like you wouldn’t believe" as she snatched the beer out of my hand
"Well maybe you can give me some private tutoring, so I do believe."
"Im a great teacher"
"Well, I kinda suck at school, anything you can do?"
"Well as far as sucking, I think we can work something out"
"well, Ill be sure to get you an extra juicy Apple"
"Sounds delicious"
We danced, occasionally kissing, and made our way back to RL, RN & MS' apartment. When we got there I realized I had no bed to sleep on, only a couch, but RL being the good friend he is said: "Y'all can sleep (wink) in my bed."
"The dungeon!? Yesssss. Thanks man."
So, this girl (didn’t and still don’t know her name) amble up the ladder, she was wearing a skirt and wanted to go first. "Ok I know where this is going…to the bed!"
"Aww cant we play teachestudent first?"
"Only if I get a taste of that Apple I brought you..."
The next morning was my flight out to LA at 4:56 PM, so I had time to grab brunch with the guys before I left. We ate on Chelsea Pier, I felt obliged to 'kiss and tell,' and extol them with my heroics. In retrospect, they probably didn’t want to hear it, I banged some random, probabky nasty girl on RLs bed. We finished lunch had some fun on Chelsea pier, and I flew back to LA. While back in Beverly Hills I was incredibly tire, but I took pride in recounting every detail to DV, knowing AT could hear. I stupidly thought: "if she hears how much fun im having, she might get jealous and want to hangout with me." I was such a devious little shit.
I finish telling DV just as GD walks in to hear the punchline; "…so I brought her back and got her on my friends bed!" GD walks to his station, with four screens (I used to think the ore screens you have the more of a boss you are, now I think the less you have to involve yourself with day-to-day, and intraday moves the more of a 'boss' you are) I can feel him staring at me smiling my ass of, he says "I WANT TO FU*KING HEAR!" So I launch into my tale (or should I say tail).
Later that week I called my father while biking to the gym. I called him because I made an error In the execution of a large fixed income trade, the price of the underlying security moved away from the price quoted, normally this would not matter since we had discretion over trading - meaning we would not need client approval. However, this was a trade for our largest client making a large fixed income purchase, so $.01 makes a big difference when the quantity purchased is in the millions. My father recounts this story to me as an almost emblematic admission of previous of apprehension towards him, and my subsequent of rectification.
As theNYC buzz began to wear off, I started going to bars around LA; SkyBar, and Viper Room one night my two buddies DS & DS, and I all agreed that we should go to Club Avalon, I was a huge electronic progressive house music aficionado so going to world famous club Avalon was *almost* as sweet as NYC with my bros. DS and I cohosted 'Techno Storytime' on the school radio, so we were super pumped to hear some much in the 110 - 130 BPM range.
Still feeling the nightlife buzz from NYC, I found myself able to easily to talk to girls. Doug and I were kinda wall flowers/club explorers, neither one of us has been to Avalon, but upon exploring it we both agreed, DS would love it too, we should start meeting there monthly. The night wore on, I found myself uninterested in paying $12.00 for a bottle if Heineken, so I started to hit on some women, DS and I had explored too much and I only had 30 minutes to seal the deal. So I got to work, quickly scored the number, but we got sidetracked talking about a subject I really, really enjoy; political analysis.
We talked political analysis I wish I could remember what she was saying, she was so on the ball, that awareness only increased my attraction to her. We talked for a bit, we went to the outside portion of the club, seeing her in the moonlight I thought; "shit, she is magnificent, screw AT if I land her. Her looks combined with her intellect make her a superwoman, exactly the type of woman I want carrying my seed. By this point 20 minutes had elapsed, and the club began emptying, "oh shit better seal th-"
"It was amazing talking to you, but I have to find my friends."
"Wait, maybe we…"
She was gone from my life, at least I had her number…
I moped back to DS, he asked me: "Howd it go man!?"
I started yelling that 'I couldn’t seal the f$%^ing deal!"
"Its cool man, this is a big city, im sure youll have other shots, lets catch a cab back to my crib, smoke a bowl watch a movie and forget about all this."
"Aight dude that sounds awesome."
So, we go out to the taxi area, DS and I just bullshitting, and he stop talking: "…so DS has this sick fader on his turn tab…. Wait, what was the name of the girl you were talking to?"
"Why? K(atie)A(ltman…)
"KATIE!!!!!!"
"D what the…."
"KATIE!!!!!!"
"Oh Shit that’s Katie!"
He yells -"KATIE!!!!!!"
She turns around as she is getting in to her cab, with her buddies. I sprint over to her cab wrench the cab door open, and ride with the back to their apartment in Laurel Canyon. From here, I don’t have a clear memory of what happened but I woke up in my bed the next morning. "Shit" I thought, did I walk back to Franklin from Laurel Canyon? Guess I don’t need to work out today! So I rolled back over and dozed for another 45minutes until I get a text from the girl who was sweating me at the gym, CS.
A little back story on CR; I was always checking her out, so was always pushing her massive chest out when I would walk by and she was on a machine. Then one day she walked up behind me while I was doing pushups, waited for me to finish me set… "ninety eight…ninety nine…one hundered, I don’t know I you were listening there I did 100 pushups, ha ha ha
"Is that rom a movie???"
"Anchorman!"
"Ohhhh, well lets see how you do with me riding yourback!"
"Wait what?"
CR straddled my back and plopped down. I pretended to not be able do any with her on my back. "Come on muscle man, make me ride you!"
"Um, im not sure I feel comfortable announcing to the gym that you want to fuck me"
"Who said that, that wishful thinking man…"
"How about we compare our wishes, what is a good night next week to take you to dinner?"
"Sunday night"
"Sunday!?!?"
"I am a nurse so I work weird hours, but next Sunday night, lets get take out, a bottle of wine and some…youre from India right?"
"Half"
"Ok, some Hindu Kush, sit on the beach in Santa Monica and share dinner."
"Whoa, yes ma'am!"
"Ma'am?"
"Southern thing, I tell you about on Sunday night."
"Can't wait" She said with a smile
I left the LA Fitness on Hollywood BLVD. next to the Chinese Theater in a dream state. Then I realized that Sunday night was 2 nights away! Shit I need to get wine and a ton of Hindu Kush! I secured the Hindu Kush (too much), but not the wine, I wanted to get Red, and White to give her the option. Since I has just moved into my new apartment, I didn’t have time to set everything up, so I didn’t have time to buy a cooler to chill the white wine; "I will have to buy it the night of."
I searched my room and couldn’t find any more bud, so I decided to Meet DS and DS for dinner, we wound up going to a bar too - oops! Needless to say I didn’t get to pick up the wine, or the Kush, id have to pick it up before the date, tomorrow. "Hey do you guys know I any dispensaries are open on Sunday??
"They arent, but our friend owns one, he'll sell to you."
"Awesome"
So, I contact DS and DS' buddy; I meet him and buy absolutely too much bud, and buy some gummies too, I swing back by my apartment on Franklin, drop off the dry bud" CR and I wont need that much, and get a call from DS, Ds and crew: "Yooo nuppal, were gonna go catch a movie, you down?"
"Yeah man lets do it!"
I quickly grab my backpack, remembering that I needed to pick up the wine, and knowing I needed to bring some bud. I hopped on my bike and roade over to East Hollywood to catch a flick with them. I pull up, get off the bike as theyre rolling up, I swing my backpack across, thinking im going to light up. I open the back pack… "Hey guys lets do this before…" Open the back pack a but more and reach in feeling for my bowl and the tupperware with the dry kush, and realizing that I hadnt unpacked the edibles that id bought. So, I skipped the dry bud and said: "hey guys I just bought these edibles, lets each grab some gummies and watch the movie…"
"Alright dude, but Edibles will hit when the movie is ending, but yeah man!"
So we take some gummies, and watch the movie. DS was right, the gummies did begin to take effect as the movie ended: "shit" I thought "Im gonna have to ride to Santa Monica while pretty high…no big deal, I hate riding high though." As Im riding down Sunset BLVD, heading west towards Santa Monica I happen to look up at the sky during a red light. The magnificence of a South-Western Southern California sunset is something everyone must enjoy, similar to the colors a Monet painting. I stared up at the sky for longer than the light was red, so people behind me became agitated. I quickly moved down Sunset blvd. at the famous (or infamous) intersection of Sunset Blvd. & Larrabee St. in West Hollywood.
Still mesmerized by the sunset, yet trying to focus, I see a clapped out For Expedition come from Larrabee, turning left onto Sunset the intended turn was in my path. I took a second to process "this is my path what the fuohhhh," going from euphoric joy to life saving maneuvers is not something they teach in MSF school, good thing I never went. After processing his intended trajectory I slammed on the brakes,
A part-time bartender at the Viper Room "didn’t see his red light due to sun" and was under assume every light is 'Green' for him. So he decided that even though there is traffic on Sunset, he would rather turn o make sure there was no traffic going in his intended direction on Sunset. I knew that grabbing too much front brake would send me headfirst into the pavement and his car, and into my coffin. So, I decided to overapply the rear brake, lay the bike down and hope for the best, I guess 'the best' of an inherently shitty situation did occur, I lived! However, while sliding through the Sunset & Larrabee intersection my back connected with the end of his passenger-side running board, my brand new Scorpion Exo-1000 hit the running board as well. Instantly knocked out. According to the report filed by the ambulance driver I was 'unresponsive' at the scene, but no external blood, save a bit of road rash were my jacket bunched up underneath my left arm, I suffered a 'severe' DAI brain injury (Diffuse Axonal Injury) and 26 brain bleeds.
Luckily, the ambulance ride was at most 8 minutes to Cedars-Siani Beverly Hills, this hospital was on my commute path to and from work, on Maple Dr. I always wondered what the building was, so much property in the heart of Beverly Hills however, this was NOT the method I intended to find out about this building. Must have been a funny scene in the office the next Monday. "Looks like Nick is late again" said AT
My dad gave me my first laugh post injury, we agree that laughter is the vanguard of healing mental and physical ailments.
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2020.06.25 16:00 efa___ I Read It So You Don't Have To: Little Kids, Big City (by Alex McCord and Simon van Kempen)

Inspired by the overwhelmingly positive response to my previous 'book report' on Ramona Singer's Life on the Ramona Coaster (seriously, thank you all -- truly supporting other women 🙏🙏), I decided to try my hand at writing up yet another of the embarrassing number of Housewives books in my personal collection: Alex McCord and Simon van Kempen's Little Kids, Big City: Tales from a Real House in New York City with Lessons on Life and Love for Your Own Concrete Jungle.
After reading just the title of this book, I'm already exhausted. It's pretentiously long and awkwardly phrased while somehow still managing to be entirely devoid of meaning. In other words, a perfect encapsulation of Simon and Alex. The summary on the back cover describes the pair as the "breakout stars" of RHONY, an assessment that I would charitably call 'debatable,' before going on to inform me that I can look forward to "informative and often hair-raising stories of life in the urban jungle," and that "Alex and Simon use their own hard-won experience as a springboard to discuss a host of parenting topics." I anticipate that this content will be quite useful to me, the guardian of four cats that I spoil endlessly and treat like my actual children.
One of the pull-quotes on the back cover allegedly comes from our very own Bethenny Frankel. I say 'allegedly' because I refuse to believe that the following passage would ever come out of Bethenny's mouth (or keyboard or whatever):
Alex and Simon don't take themselves too seriously, which seems to be essential to parenting. Their fresh 'he said, she said' perspective on parenting is both humorous and insightful!
Please, take a moment and do your very best to picture mention-it-all, betting-on-horse-races-at-age-five Bethenny unironically using the phrase "fresh 'he said, she said' perspective." To describe Simon van Kempen and Alex McCord. Right, didn't think so.
My experience reading Little Kids, Big City started on an unexpected high note when I opened the front cover to find that my copy (purchased used through Better World Books for the low, low price of $5.31 with shipping) had been signed by Ms. you-are-in-high-school-while-I-am-in-Brooklyn herself, Alex McCord! Truly a gift I do not deserve. Samantha and Debbie (whoever and wherever you may be), thank you for your service. I am forever in your debt.
Unfortunately, as would soon become painfully clear to me, after starting off on such a promising note, I would have nowhere to go but down.
The book, which is written in alternating passages from Alex and Simon, begins its introduction with a chronicle of Alex's "fashionably nomadic" early adulthood. Ever the proto-edgelord, she recalls, "I did all those things our mothers warned us about and had fun doing them." We switch to Simon's perspective to hear the deeply embarrassing story of the couple meeting through a dating app while Simon was on a business trip in New York City. No, there is absolutely nothing embarrassing about meeting someone on a dating app. But there absolutely is something embarrassing about using the profile name "Yetisrule" to meet someone on a dating app. To clarify, this was apparently Alex's username, and I remain hopeful that we will get a more thorough explanation of her connection to the elusive Yeti as this book continues.
Alex tells us that, while she and Simon hadn't initially planned to have children, they eventually started to have "clucky feelings." I have never heard this phrase in my entire twenty-five years of life, but based on context clues and also a Google search, I learned that it means they wanted to have a baby. Don't worry, though! As Alex tells us, "You can be eight months pregnant and wear a leather miniskirt." Personally, this is life-changing news -- I had always believed that I couldn't have kids unless I was willing to compromise my 90s goth aesthetic! Maybe I'll rethink this child-free thing after all.
The next bit of advice seems like it actually could potentially be sort of helpful. "No one is a good parent all the time -- nor is anyone a bad parent all the time," they reassure the reader. "You can become a parent without losing yourself." Unfortunately, as soon as I catch myself nodding along, the modicum of goodwill I'd built up is promptly trashed by a gag-worthy line from Simon: "If you take nothing away but a wry smile after reading our little tome, then we've done our job." I immediately vow not to smile until I'm finished reading this book. Excuse me, this little tome.
The book starts in earnest with Chapter 1: "Does a German Shepherd Need a Birth Plan?" To be perfectly honest, I was not expecting a riddle at this juncture, but I am nevertheless excited to hear Simon and Alex tell us "why childbirth is not an intellectual activity." First, however, we get a passing reference to "Park Slope, home of the ParkSlopeParents.com message board made famous in 2007 with a so-ridiculous-it-got-headlines discussion on gender-specific baby hats and where feminism can be taken to extremes." And despite the lame alarmist allusion to ~*XTREME feminism*~, this line did manage to lead me down an interesting Internet rabbit hole, so thanks for that, I guess?
Jesus Christ, I am on PAGE 4 and I am already so done with Simon. Presented without comment:
With the Park Slope OB-GYN, we had the first sonogram and saw the little blip on the screen -- our child-to-be. They say seeing is believing and as nothing was happening inside me, seeing confirmation on the video monitor that indeed my spermatozoa had penetrated and infiltrated one of Alex's ova made me aware that my days as a footloose and fancy-free guy might be coming to an end.
Y'all, I am currently working on my PhD in Molecular Biology. Which, if you were not previously aware, gives me the authority to decree that Simon is never allowed to use the word "spermatozoa" ever again. And so it is.
I was about to say that Alex's passages are at least more tolerable, but it appears I spoke too soon.
The stats they quoted referenced a 40 percent cesarean section rate in the city, and I wonder how that can be acceptable? Are we heading toward Brave New World, where babies are scientifically created in petri dishes and gestated in artificial wombs? Oh wait, we're already there. Are we heading towards a Wall-E existence, where we ride around in carts everywhere and do nothing for ourselves so that our bodies break down and we're all fat, oozy blobs drinking protein from a straw? Somebody slap me, please!!
Truly, Alex, it would be my pleasure.
As a Type-A person, just reading the story of Alex's first pregnancy and delivery gave me anxiety. She says that she just never really "felt the need to establish a birth plan" and that she "gave in to any craving [she] felt." Don’t worry, though -- "If I had suddenly craved chalk, ecstasy or Elmer's Glue, I'd have thought twice." I feel like there is some symbolism here to unpack (Could the Elmer's Glue be a metaphor for the childlike spirit of connection and unity???). Simon describes himself as "a learn-on-the-job guy" and tells us that he and Alex "failed to attend the last couple of [birthing] classes as by then we both just wanted to let instinct take over when the time came." As someone who has never trusted my instincts even once in my entire life, I cannot relate.
Twelve days after his due date, baby François is born. Except it turns out that he actually was born right on time, but Alex "didn't keep regimented track of [her] periods" and miscalculated. What a bummer that modern medicine hasn't advanced to the point where doctors can guide you about that sort of thing.
I don't even know what to say about this next bit, but God help me, I still have 215 more pages of this book to go.
Although the final stages of labor were very, very painful, I [Alex] never used our code word (tin can) for "game over, give me drugs." I definitely recommend using a code word, because it was kind of fun to scream, "I want drugs, give me drugs" through a contraction and have the midwife, nurse and Simon all know I wasn't serious. Once he [François] was finally out of my body, I experienced a tsunami of endorphins that was almost orgasmic, and I understand completely the stories other women have written about ecstatic birth. Simon was sitting behind me at the point of birth, and later when we untangled ourselves he discovered he'd actually ejaculated though hadn't felt any of the normal lead-up to that. It may seem distasteful to some, and definitely neither of us was thinking of sex at the time, but with the rush of emotion and my lower nerve endings going crazy, it's not too far a stretch to say that it's a profound experience.
Johan is born two years later, although it's unclear from the text whether either parent reached orgasm during the event.
The chapter ends with a top-ten list entitled "10 Things We'll Remember That Happened During Pregnancy." These include useful tidbits like
  1. Best advice I heard: men's genitals grow and change shape regularly, then go back to the way they were before. Don't worry about your female delicate bits being able to retract.
Which is…a lovely sentiment. But one that is slightly undermined by phrasing the first part in the grossest way possible, as well as by the use of the phrase "female delicate bits." I do like the idea that they "retract," however, because I think it's very cool to imagine the vagina as an SUV sunroof. By the grace of God, Chapter 1 comes to a close.
In Chapter 2 (titled "No Sleep 'Til Brooklyn, What's My Name Again? and Who is This Alien?" -- seriously, were they padding their word count with chapter titles?), we get more questionable parenting advice from the McCord-van Kempens. They glibly dismiss concerns about co-sleeping ("Simon and I both slept with cats and dogs our whole lives without squishing them"), which I honestly would be more annoyed about if I hadn't immediately gone on to read Simon's account of "the midnight race to the 24-hour pharmacy to buy a breast pump as Alex's breasts were seemingly engorged with too much milk and she thought they were about to explode and fly off her chest." As it stands, I'm truly too defeated to care. Again, just to be perfectly clear: no shade to having issues breastfeeding, all shade to using the word 'engorged.’ And also for giving me the mental image of Alex's breasts desperately struggling to flee from her body (though to be fair, who could blame them?).
Proving that she does not inhabit the same world as the rest of us mortals, Alex tells us that she expected that her state of sleep-deprivation as she raised two young children would "spur [her] creativity with graphic design." For some reason, this does not seem to be the case. Alex is puzzled.
Finally, we've come to this chapter's top ten list ("Top 10 Memories of Random Things We Did While in the Post-Birth Haze"). While these lists have so far been utterly irredeemable, they also mean the chapter is coming to a close, so I can at least take some solace in that. This particular list ranges from the irritating…
  1. We subversively took sleeping babies to as many non-child-friendly places as possible to prove the point that children can be seen, not heard and not bothersome, such as dinner at the Ritz in London, the Sahara Desert, shopping on Madison Avenue, Underbar in Union Square and film festivals.
…to the truly unnecessary.
  1. While changing François' diaper on day one or two, we both stood mesmerized by the changing pad as meconium oozed out of him. It was really the most bizarre and fascinating thing I'd seen to date.
With the couple's general backstory and credentials now under our belts, Chapter 3 ("The Screaming Kid on the Plane is NOT Mine! (This Time)") focuses on advice for traveling with children, which Alex admits "can be a complete pain in the you-know-what." I cannot describe the rage I feel at the fact that she has -- in no fewer than 50 pages -- forced me to read about both her newborn son's excrement and her husband's ejaculate, but cannot bring herself to use the word "ass." Alex, we're really far beyond that at this point, don't you think?
Not to be outdone, Simon shares a conversation he had with François that is remarkable not for its content, but for the fact that one of Simon's nicknames for his son is apparently "F-Boy." Thanks, I hate it.
This chapter's list ("Alex's Top 10 Travel Memories") includes the entry:
  1. Both boys charging down Saline Beach in St. Barths like something out of Lord of the Flies.
So, like a horde of primal sadists? I'm wondering if Alex and Simon have inadvertently confused Lord of the Flies with the hit 2007 reality show Kid Nation. I really hope that's what's going on here.
Chapter 4 ("'Mommy, Johan is Gone!'") promises to teach us how to handle accidents. I'm not sure how comfortable I feel taking emergency advice from the authors of this particular book, but (in large part due to the fact that I have slept since reading the previous chapter, giving the pain a chance to dull somewhat), I am willing to at least hear them out.
After relaying a story of François needing emergency surgery after a foot injury, Alex tells us that at one point, she and Simon realized they had spent "nearly $5000 on Indian takeout" in the past year. For the mathematically averse, this works out to a monthly budget of roughly $100 worth of Indian food per week, making my quarantine Uber Eats habit seem downright quaint by comparison. The chapter-ending list walks us through the "Top 10 Things We Do in a Crisis," and fortunately, the tips seem pretty benign.
  1. Knowing what calms the children down, such as making silly faces or reciting Shel Silverstein poetry backwards.
Wait, hang on. What?
reciting Shel Silverstein poetry backwards
I'm sorry, please forgive me if I have missed some recent, paradigm-shifting development in the field of early childhood education, but what?? As in, "ends sidewalk the where?" "Sdne klawedis eht erehw?" I am truly befuddled.
Maybe the next chapter ("'Is Today a Work Day or a Home Day, Mommy?'") will have some applicable wisdom for me, as I will, in fact, be working from home every other week for the foreseeable future. And, I cannot stress this enough, I am a psychotically overinvested cat mom. Alas, we are instead treated to an unnecessarily detailed breakdown of how important it is to delegate, and specifically that Simon cleans up vomit and Alex cleans up "feces in the various forms that come out of children's bottoms at appropriate and sometimes inappropriate times such as the middle of Thanksgiving festivities." As if we needed another reason to consider Thanksgiving problematic.
The chapter takes a brief commercial break…
When an everyday product can do double duty such as Dawn Hand Renewal with Olay Beauty, a dish soap that seals in moisture while I'm tackling cleanup, sure, I'll buy it.
…before closing out with a list of the "Top 10 Things We Do Because We Were Here First." I am happy to confirm your worst suspicions and tell you that item number one is indeed "Have passionate sex."
In Chapter 6 ("I Saw Your Nanny…Being Normal?"), I find myself actually sympathizing with Alex for the first time in this book. Which is mostly just because the chapter starts by talking about all of the awful, catty parental competitions that seem endemic to a certain crew of white Manhattan moms, and it makes Alex come off at least slightly less irritating in comparison.
That is, at least until a few pages later, when she starts to complain about a previous au pair:
She was sullen, melodramatic and kept a blog about how she hated Americans, hated France, hated us and the children but loved New York. I think she must have thought we were idiots, and when she asked us to leave early we were only too happy to get her out of our home.
I would love to meet this woman. I think we could be great friends.
This chapter's list is even more difficult to parse than previous ones, because while it's titled "Top 10 Things Caregivers Have Inadvertently Done to Amuse, Annoy or Thrill Us," it's not at all clear which descriptors apply to which points. When a babysitter "accidentally used a household cleaning wipe when changing a diaper," were the McCord-Van Kempens amused? Annoyed? Thrilled? The world may never know.
In Chapter 7 ("'Putting To Death Is Not Nice,' a Duet for Two Boys and A Guitar"), Alex and Simon share some of their hard-earned childrearing wisdom with us. Which basically amounts to Alex telling us that, while normally misbehavior from the kids incurs a warning followed by a time-out, she has also developed an ingenious new strategy where she actually steps in to intervene when the stakes are higher. Let's listen in:
A third permutation is when there's a behavior that has to stop immediately, say if Johan has a big blue indelible marker and is running through a white hotel suite. I swoop in and grab the marker as to risk a three count [warning] would be to risk decoration of the sofa.
Take the marker from the toddler immediately instead of trying to reason with him? Groundbreaking.
Side Note: At this point in my reading, I am incredibly satisfied to report that I have discovered my first typo in the book, and in one of Simon's sections no less! ("These toads secret [sic] a poison…"). This is wildly pedantic of me and proof that I am a deeply sick person.
We run though a list of "Top 10 Things We Never Thought We Would Have To Explain" ("10. Why hot pizza stones do not like Legos.") before moving right along into Chapter 8, "Don't Listen to the Well-Meaning Morons." Strangely, I have a very vivid memory of Alex saying "I have a chapter in my book called, 'Don't Listen to the Well-Meaning Morons" in some distant RHONY episode or reunion. I guess she was telling the truth.
The chapter opens with a series of passages in which Alex and Simon respond to various comments that have been made about their parenting over the years. I think this device is supposed to be a bit of lighthearted snark on overbearing strangers, but instead just comes off as weirdly defensive and passive-aggressive. A few examples:
"My daughter is perfect. Her table manners are excellent, she never speaks unless spoken to and we've always had white sofas at home since she was a child, with no staining."
-A woman with one preteen daughter, no sons
Your daughter sounds boring. I wouldn't want my sons to date her..
Zing!
"Why are you outside?" - A bagel seller in Montreal, in February
I'm hungry and the stroller is well protected under the plastic cover. Johan is warm and cozy, the others are asleep in the hotel and I'm going stir-crazy. Is that enough, or should I buy my bagel from someone else?
Got 'em!
"Excuse me, your baby is crying." -- Someone said to Simon as they peered into the stroller to try and determine the cause of said noise.
You don't say! Do you think, you stupid idiot, that I don't hear that? Do you think I think it's just loud music? Do you think I don't want him to stop and that I like it???
Sorry, did I say 'passive-aggressive'? Let's change that to just 'aggressive.'
But despite bristling at being the recipient of unwanted advice, far be it from Alex to shy away from giving her opinions on the shortcomings of other parents.
There was a mom at another table who wore all black and told her hyperactive daughter that they had to have a family meeting to decide what to do next. The type of woman who might ask her daughter to "process her feelings" about which color to choose. The type of woman who wanted make [sic] a big huge hairy deal about including her daughter in the decision-making process and "negotiating" the next best step for the family to take in the pottery shop. Pardon me while I shoot myself.
I'm sorry, but I just cannot respect this take coming from a woman who calms her sons by reciting comedic children's poetry backwards.
We next learn that there are "many websites out in cyberspace," some of which offer child-rearing advice. Simon summarizes their useless "vitriol" as such:
They say that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, whereas for the 21st century surely hell no longer hath fury, as it's all been hurled at the belittled and scorned Internet mom.
I'm honestly not entirely sure what this is supposed to mean, and my confusion continues all the way through this chapter's "Top 10 Ways We Make Ourselves Feel Better When It's All Getting To Be Too Much." We begin reasonably enough…
  1. Check to see whether the person offering advice has children. How old are they?
  2. Do they have a point? Are they right? It is entirely possible.
…before quickly losing all sense of self-awareness and flying completely off the rails.
  1. Will we ever see this person again? If not, can we get away with unleashing our fury on them? Note, if you're reading this and decide to try it for yourself, go big or go home.
The last few chapters have been a bit Alex-heavy, but never fear -- Simon pops back up in Chapter 9 ("If I Wouldn't Eat That, My Kid Won't Either") to tell us a charming story about how the family refers to his Bolognese sauce as "Dead Cow Sauce," and this is because his children are incredibly enlightened and understand the circle of life and where food comes from. Or something along those lines.
This chapter also provides a lot of really incontrovertible proof that, even though you may swear that your kids say the most hilarious things all the time, you are wrong. I love kids. I can play cool aunt with the best of them. But this "recipe" for "Johan's Concoction" tries so hard to be cute and funny ("whisk violently -- making sure to spill a little out of the top") that I could barely stifle my groans. For anyone who happens to frequent RebornDollCringe, I am strongly and inexplicably reminded of Britton.
A list of "Top 10 Things We Don't Like About Children's Restaurants" culminates with
  1. Where would you rather be? A bistro devoted to race-car driving, with 1950s toy cars on the walls, or T.G.I. Friday's?
Excuse me, ma'am, you must be unfamiliar with the concept of Endless Apps®.
The title of Chapter 10 is "You'll Give in Before I Do!" and although the subtitle lets me know this is referencing "the art and warfare of bedtime," it's hard not to take it as a personal taunt from the authors. Most of this chapter is just transcriptions of 'cute' things François and Johan have said to try to avoid going to bed, but we do get this gem:
Slaying the dragon is our family euphemism for using the toilet (drowning the dragons that live in the sewer) and is fun for the boys to talk about, though probably not forever.
Before giving us a chance to adequately process this revelation, Alex goes on to reflect:
Hmm, perhaps I should delete this -- I don’t want obnoxious classmates getting hold of this book in 10 years and asking the boys if they need to slay the dragon in the middle of geometry class.
Alex, I assure you, you truly have nothing to worry about. Any self-respecting bully will be far too focused on the fact that Simon ejaculated at the moment of his son's birth to pay this comparatively trivial factoid any attention.
The authors shake things up and end this chapter with lists of both "Top 20 Bedtime Stories" and "Top 10 Lullabies," both of which are thankfully inoffensive.
In Chapter 11 ("Children Like Shiny Objects"), we follow Alex and Simon as they purchase the townhouse we see them renovating on RHONY. Although other (read: lesser) parents might store breakables out of reach or limit children's toys to playrooms and bedrooms, Alex and Simon were blessed with two boys whose aesthetic sensibilities are already quite developed:
One kind of funny thing that I noticed recently is that the toys the boys tend to leave upstairs in our red and black living room often tend to be red and black as well. I'm not sure whether that's intentional, but it's funny that the room always seems to match regardless of its contents.
The list of "Top 10 Craziest Places We've Found Objects" is mercifully absent of any orifice-related discoveries.
After reading just the title of Chapter 12 ("Raising Baby Einsteins"), I'm bracing myself for the self-satisfied smugness to come. This preparation turns out to be duly warranted. Baby sign language is dismissed as "a scheme dreamed up by ASL experts who wanted to sell classes to easily influenced new parents," Mommy and Me classes are "not really for teaching anything," and we learn that Alex and Simon have instituted a bizarre family rule that "if a talking toy came into our house, it had to speak a foreign language or speak English in an accent other than American."
We learn that Simon apparently does not know what antonyms are (for the record, Simon, the word you're looking for is homophones) and that New York City is replete with "wailing, nocturnal, type-A obsessed harridans willing to sleep with persons not their spouse if they think it will help their child get into THE RIGHT SCHOOL." Uh, yikes. After a tediously long description of François' pre-school admissions process, Alex informs us:
As a former actor, I've always gotten into play-acting and dressing up with my children. Perhaps a little too much. But I've taken the opportunity to show off a few old monologues, complete with bounding around like a puppy. If you have knowledge, why not share it? If you happen to know Puck's speeches from a Midsummer Night's Dream by ear with tumbling and staged sword play, why the heck don’t you share that with your boisterous boys, who love it and run around shouting, "Thou speakest aright!"
I am suddenly compelled to call my mother and thank her profusely for never making me put up with anything like this. Maybe I'll also get her thoughts on one of the tips listed in "Top 10 Favorite 'Developmental' Things To Do": "if they want something that you want to delay giving them, make them ask in every language they can before giving in." To me, this seems like an effective way to encourage your children to learn how to say "Fuck you, mom" in French as early as possible.
In Chapter 13 ("Urban Wonderland"), Alex and Simon promise to share their unique perspective on "taking advantage of raising a child in the urban jungle." But mostly, we just get a rant about how everyone thinks their kids have weird names, and that makes Simon mad. This chapter's "Top 10 Reasons New York is the Center of the Universe to a Kid" list reminds us what truly matters: "there are more songs with NYC in their titles than any other city."
Immediately after telling us how great it is to live in a city (excuse me, urban jungle), Alex and Simon switch tack and spend Chapter 14 ("'Daddy, a Cow! And It's Not in a Zoo!") expounding on the importance of exposing kids to nature. Sounds great, I'm on board. Unfortunately, we almost immediately take a hard left turn into a story from Simon's childhood where he and his brother are "befriended by this old guy, Dick, who lived on the outskirts of town in a small tin shed." We hear that Dick "occasionally pulled out an early Playboy magazine back from the days when the lower regions were airbrushed out," and that "there had been pretty strong rumors of pedophilia," before promptly returning to the main narrative with no further explanation. I can only describe the transition as 'jarring.'
I can tell how exhausted I am at this point in the book by how hurriedly I skimmed the list of "Top 10 Differences We've Noticed Between City Kids and Country Kids." To be honest, I'm almost annoyed when a particularly bizarre quote manages to catch my attention, because that means I have to think about it for the full amount of time it takes me to transcribe from the page. I'm beginning to think that my initial hope that I could glean some useful cat-rearing advice from this experience may have been overzealous.
Chapter 15 ("You're Such a Great Parent, You Should Be on TV (LOL)") is the only chapter to directly address the family's time on RHONY. It starts with this (attempted) comedy bit in which Alex and Simon pretend to be hilariously self-aware and self-effacing (Alex: "Look up 'Mommylicious' in the dictionary and you will see a photo of me in a ball gown, breast-feeding an infant while making Osso Buco and directing carpenters to build a bookcase for my Dickens and Shakespeare."). This posture would be infinitely more believable if I hadn't spent the previous 205 pages watching these two take themselves deadly seriously.
But rather than share any juicy behind-the-scenes tidbits (or, indeed, convey anything of substance at all), Alex and Simon spend exactly 3.5 pages blustering about how it wasn't harmful for their children to be on TV before giving us a list of "Top 10 Hilarious Things The Boys Have Done While Filming or at Photo Shoots." Spoiler alert: none of them are 'hilarious.'
Chapter 16 is literally titled "The Light at the End of the Tunnel," which makes me feel like this whole experience may have just been Alex and Simon playing some sort of twisted game with me. Alex tells us this is "the chapter of hope," but given that she then tells us about a time when she "spent one full hour discussing why magic markers cannot be carried around with the caps off, particularly in a hotel suite with white couches and walls," I'm not sure exactly where this hope is coming from. Also it seems like this markers-in-a-hotel-room thing happens weirdly frequently. We are then treated to Alex and Simon's "Top 10 Moments of Getting It,'" which includes
  1. Apropos of nothing, Johan said, "You give us time-outs because you are teaching us to be good grown-ups."
This is a thing I'm sure Johan said completely organically and not in response to hearing his parents say "we're giving you a time-out so that you learn to be a good grown-up" approximately seven zillion times.
This brings us to the book's Epilogue (a mercifully short two pages) featuring the line "If you made it to the end of this book, we salute you." Honored to accept this hard-earned accolade, I can finally close the book and start figuring out a way to erase the memory of Simon busting a mid-childbirth nut from my aching brain. Wish me luck!
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2020.06.24 06:05 Viewfromthe31stfloor Update on the City's response to COVID-19- latest email from Mayor's Community Affairs Unit

As you are aware, the City is currently responding to the novel coronavirus, and we want to make sure that you are provided with the most up-to-date information.
Cómo ya sabe, la Ciudad de Nueva York está respondiendo al brote del coronavirus, y queremos asegurarnos que reciba información actualizada.
如您所知, 紐約市目前正在應對新冠病毒, 我們會確保向您提供最新的消息。
MAYOR DE BLASIO, COMMISSIONER GARCIA AND CHANCELLOR CARRANZA ANNOUNCE SUMMER MEAL HUBS
Meal Hub service will continue this summer for all New Yorkers from 7:30 AM to 1:30 PM Monday through Friday at 400 sites
NEW YORK—Mayor Bill de Blasio, COVID-19 Food Czar and Sanitation Commissioner Kathryn Garcia and Chancellor Richard A. Carranza today announced grab-and-go Meal Hubs will continue to operate through the summer as the City continues to fight food insecurity during the COVD-19 crisis. Starting on June 29th, Meal Hub summer service will operate at approximately 400 sites across the city and continue regular service from 7:30 AM to 1:30 PM, Monday through Friday. Grab-and-go meals are available to any New Yorker who needs them. Vegetarian meals that are also halal will be available at all sites, and select sites serving halal chicken and kosher-certified meals will continue during the summer. A full list of sites will be available here.
“New Yorkers shouldn't have to choose between putting food on the table and paying their bills," said Mayor Bill de Blasio. “We’re continuing Grab-and-go meals through the summer to ensure no New Yorkers goes hungry.”
“The hundreds of Grab & Go sites across the city have been a crucial part of ensuring that no New Yorker goes hungry due to this crisis, and I want to thank the working people who will help them stay open throughout the summer,” said New York City Sanitation Commissioner and ‘COVID-19 Food Czar’ Kathryn Garcia. “These meals are available regardless of income, citizenship, or age, and I urge anyone in need to make use of them.”
“Serving over 20 million meals to New Yorkers throughout this crisis has been an honor, and our heroic food service workers have seen it as their duty,” said Schools Chancellor Richard A. Carranza. “We are proud to continue this service throughout the summer for anyone who needs a meal during the week.”
After school buildings were closed on March 15th due to COVID-19, the grab-and-go Meal Hub program began in order to provide nutritious food to students who depend on school meals. As part of the City’s fight against the economic crisis caused by the pandemic, Meal Hub service expanded in early April to include all New Yorkers who need meals during this crisis.
To date, Meal Hubs have served approximately 30 million meals and are currently averaging approximately 550,000 meals a day. Meal Hub service will continue for the duration of this summer. In addition to meals, Meal Hubs are now community hubs for important updates on COVID-19, free books for young people, and access to menstrual hygiene products.
Starting on June 22nd, all Meal Hubs began offering take home pizza meal kits. Take home pizza meal kits can be cooked at home using an oven, microwave, or toaster oven. Meal Hub patrons can pick up pizza alongside to grab-and-go meal offerings, and this option will continue to be available throughout the summer. The DOE will exhaust all existing supplies of pizza in schools to prevent food waste and continue to order more meal kits as needed.
Site locations may change for Summer Meal Hub service. To find the closest open Meal Hub, please visit schools.nyc.gov/freemeals or text “NYC FOOD” or “NYC COMIDA” to 877-877.
"As New York City reaches an unemployment rate of 18% and New Yorkers struggle to pay their bills, the last thing our communities should have to worry about is whether they can put food on the table. I am grateful that the NYC Department of Education will continue the Grab & Go Meal Hub program into the summer – it is critical that New Yorkers maintain access to emergency food assistance throughout the duration of this pandemic and in our greatest moment of need," said State Senator Alessandra Biaggi.
"Neither COVID-19 nor hunger take a summer vacation. It is vital we make sure our children get fed this summer. I support efforts to adapt tools that can get meals to children while keeping them safe during the pandemic," said Assistant Speaker Felix W. Ortiz.
"The effects of the pandemic are far-reaching and have impacted food security for many people across our city," said Council Member Adrienne Adams. “The continuation of grab-and-go meal hubs throughout the summer comes to us during challenging times and displays the administration’s commitment to the fight against hunger in New York City. I look forward to this continued support for all New Yorkers.”
"DOE Grab-and-Go Meal sites have without a doubt been an incredible lifeline for my constituents since the brink of this pandemic, and I'm thrilled that this program will continue even after the academic year has finished for the summer season," said Council Member Margaret S. Chin. "As New York City continues its path towards a full reopening, we must remain committed to preserving the services that have helped hundreds of families survive this crisis to help New Yorkers get back on their feet."
“As the City begins to reopen, it’s critical that all New Yorkers continue to have access to fresh, healthy food and the comprehensive support and resources offered at DOE meal hubs. I thank Commissioner Garcia, Commissioner Carranza, and Mayor de Blasio for their commitment to fighting food insecurity and ensuring New Yorkers are supported throughout the City’s recovery process,” said Council Member Andrew Cohen.
“Even as we enter Phase 2 of reopening the city, and we allow restaurants to reopen, food insecurity continues to be an issue for families across all five boroughs,” said Council Member Vanessa L. Gibson. “Our office has been inundated with calls from residents seeking food assistance since the start of the pandemic and the grab-and-go Meal Hubs have been a great source of support for them. I commend the administration for their decision to continue to operate the Meal Hubs during the summer and for offering Halal and Kosher options to ensure all New Yorkers are able to take advantage of this program.”
"This virus exacerbated food insecurity issues in New York City, the financial stress created by Covid-19 continues to be all too real for many families," said Council Member Ben Kallos. "Extending grab-and-go Meal Hubs throughout the summer will offer families in need something to fall back on when they cannot make ends meet. This is important for children, seniors, and every vulnerable New Yorker in between. Thank you to Mayor de Blasio and Food Czar and Sanitation Commissioner Kathryn Garcia as well as Chancellor Richard A. Carranza for working together to make this happen."
"We have seen an unprecedented need for emergency food assistance in the wake of the COVID-19 outbreak and expanding summer meal hubs will help ensure all New Yorkers have access to fresh, nutritious food to help get them through these trying times,” said Council Member Peter Koo.
"Covid-19 cases are at record lows in New York City, but the economic impact of the virus has yet to peak. Free meal service for all, including our halal and kosher eating communities, is an essential service," said Council Member Rory Lancman.
"Making sure our most vulnerable families and children are fed is arguably more important now during the recovery than before. No one should have to worry about putting food on the table while they try to restore financial stability. I'm pleased the City will continue the Grab and Go Meal Hubs through the summer,” said Council Member Carlos Menchaca.
"The extension of the Meal Hub program, coupled with the availability of halal and vegetarian options and other crucial resources, represents the City's enduring commitment to provide for all its residents. Today's announcement is an important step to ensuring that individuals and families have access to nutritious food options, and I applaud the Administration's efforts in ensuring that no New Yorker goes hungry," said Council Member I. Daneek Miller.
"COVID-19 has affected New York City in unimaginable ways, but one of the most urgent economic effects of the pandemic was food insecurity. Thankfully, the City stepped in to fill the need with the Meal Hub program. With so many New Yorkers still suffering from lost income and facing limited employment prospects in the coming months, the extension of this program through the summer is vital. I commend the Mayor, Chancellor Carranza, and Commissioner Garcia for keeping this service in place, and I send my heartfelt appreciation to the essential workers that prepare and distribute these meals at our schools," said Council Member Carlina Rivera.
MAYOR DE BLASIO AND CHANCELLOR CARRANZA ANNOUNCE CITYWIDE GRADUATION FOR THE CLASS OF 2020
Event will air on June 30th at 7:00PM on PIX11 and online
NEW YORK—Today, Mayor Bill de Blasio and Schools Chancellor Richard A. Carranza announced a citywide graduation celebration will be held on June 30. The graduation will bring the entire city together in celebration of the past accomplishments and bright future of the Class of 2020, featuring student spotlights, musical performances, and special guest speakers—including award-winning artist, and former NYC Public School student and teacher, Lin-Manuel Miranda.
“Graduating high school under normal circumstances is an extraordinary accomplishment, but I am especially impressed by the Class of 2020 and all they have been through to get to this point. In this time of great upheaval and many challenges, they will be leading the way to create a fairer, safer future for all. I could not be more proud to celebrate them with this special sendoff,” said Mayor Bill de Blasio.
“Congratulations to the amazing Class of 2020! There’s never been a New York City graduating class like yours. There’s never been a senior year like this!” said Schools Chancellor Richard A. Carranza. “As Chancellor of all New York City Public Schools, and on behalf of all 150,000 staff who make our schools run: I am so proud of you.”
“We’re proud to help make this exciting event available to every New Yorker,” said Bart Feder, Vice President and General Manager of PIX11. “These resilient graduates will play a crucial role in the future of our city and nation, and they’ve earned this recognition”
The COVID-19 crisis disrupted the traditional celebrations honoring the accomplishments and hard work of the Class of 2020, and this special program will be broadcast to all of New York in recognition of all the Class of 2020 has achieved. The graduation celebration, produced by the City in partnership with New York’s Very Own PIX11, will air live on PIX11’s TV channel, website, and social media channels at 7:00PM on June 30th. It will also be livestreamed on the DOE’s and City’s social media channels, as well as at https://www.nycclassof2020.com/.
Kori Chambers, Marysol Castro and Mr. G from PIX11 will host the ceremony, which will feature:
· a musical performance from Brooklyn’s Phony Ppl as well as student musical performances;
· guest speakers including Lin-Manuel Miranda, Pitbull, Kenan Thompson, Nick Kroll, Angela Yee, Tina Fey, Andy Cohen, and more;
· a special valedictorian speech;
· and contributions from family members and educators who have supported our graduating seniors.
The citywide celebration of the Class of 2020 complements ceremonies and events being held in communities across the city. These celebrations are being done virtually, as drive-throughs, and in other unique ways that safely honor this year’s senior class.
MAYOR DE BLASIO ANNOUNCES ILLEGAL FIREWORKS TASK FORCE
As complaints skyrocket, NYPD, FDNY Fire Marshals and Sheriff's Office take action to disrupt fireworks supply chain
NEW YORK—Mayor Bill de Blasio today established a multi-agency task force to crack down on illegal fireworks sales. The task force will target suppliers, distributors and possessors of large quantities of illegal fireworks by conducting investigations and sting operations within and outside of New York City to disrupt supply chains. The FDNY will also launch a public safety campaign, including public service announcements and social media, to illustrate the dangers of illegal fireworks.
The task force will consist of 10 officers from NYPD Intelligence Bureau, 12 FDNY Fire Marshals and 20 members of the Sheriff’s Bureau of Criminal Investigation.
“Illegal fireworks are both dangerous and a public nuisance” said Mayor Bill de Blasio. “We’re cracking down on this activity at the source to ensure the safety of all New Yorkers and the ability of our neighbors to get some sleep.”
“For any number of reasons the use of illegal firework has skyrocketed this year and that has damaged the quality of life in our neighborhoods. The NYPD will continue to work closely with our city partners to address this dangerous issue,” said Police Commissioner Dermot Shea.
“Fireworks are illegal in New York City for a reason: they are extremely dangerous and can cause fires and serious injuries,” said Fire Commissioner Daniel A. Nigro. “Our Fire Marshals will work closely with their fellow law enforcement agencies to address this growing problem that is impacting New Yorkers in communities across our city.”
“Illegal fireworks pose a significant danger to New York families, and the Sheriff’s Office will use its investigative tools in the areas of contraband interdiction in conjunction with our law enforcement agency partners to vigorously suppress the sale and distribution of illegal fireworks,” said Sheriff Joseph Fucito.
MAYOR DE BLASIO AND MACY'S ANNOUNCE 4TH OF JULY CELEBRATION
NEW YORK—Today, Mayor de Blasio and Macy’s announced a fireworks plan in celebration of the 4th of July that will reach every borough for the first time ever. From June 29th to July 1st and on July 4th, a series of fireworks displays will launch from various land and water-based locations across New York City.
“These past few months have been some of the most difficult in our city’s history, and New Yorkers are looking for a break. This 4th of July Celebration with Macy’s will give all New Yorkers a safe and exciting way to enjoy the holiday together, even when we are apart,” said Mayor Bill de Blasio.
“New York City is our hometown. Macy’s believes in giving back to the communities where we live and work, and this year, we are taking our Fireworks show on a trip across the city. In reimagining this year’s show, the idea of bringing elements to many parts of our hometown resonated with our team and partners in the City of New York,” said Susan Tercero, Eecutive Producer Macy’s 4th of July Fireworks. “These five-minute surprise displays will showcase Macy’s signature pyrotechnic design and scale, while encouraging spectators to continue following safety and social distancing measures. The multiple location spectacle will culminate with a full-scale television presentation of Macy’s 4th of July Fireworks, capturing the spirit of the city for all New Yorkers and the nation to enjoy, choreographed to a rousing score, and featuring the nation’s best musical performances.”
These smaller, unannounced displays will allow New Yorkers to celebrate all week long. Each show is brief and will be over before residents can gather at the source. With heights reaching up to 1,000 feet from some firing locations, staying close to home and following social distancing guidelines is the best way to enjoy the show.
New Yorkers and spectators across the country will have a front-row view to the displays by tuning to NBC’s national broadcast of Macy’s 4th of July Fireworks Spectacular (8-10p.m. ET/PT, 7-9 p.m. CT/MT, check local listings). The Nation's most popular Independence Day special will include performances from some of America’s top musical acts and a presentation of the full Macy’s Fireworks show captured throughout the week, including a live grand finale.
For more information on the 44th Annual Macy’s 4th of July Fireworks, please visit macys.com/fireworks.
Resources and Updates you may find useful:
Recursos y Actualizaciones que les pueden ser útiles:
對您可能有用的資料和更新
New York City is now in Phase Two of reopening. Businesses that may start or expand operations include offices, in-store retail, outdoor dining, hair salons and barbershops, real estate, commercial building management, retail rental, repair and cleaning, and vehicle sales, leases, and rentals. https://www1.nyc.gov/site/doh/covid/covid-19-businesses-and-facilities.page
La Ciudad de Nueva York está ahora en la Segunda Fase de Reapertura. Las empresas que pueden comenzar o expandir sus operaciones incluyen oficinas, tiendas minoristas, restaurantes al aire libre, peluquerías, bienes y raíces, administración de edificios comerciales , alquiler minorista, reparación y limpieza , y ventas de vehículos, arrendamientos y alquileres. https://www1.nyc.gov/site/doh/covid/covid-19-businesses-and-facilities.page
纽约市现在处于重新开放的第二阶段。 店铺和商业包括办公室,店内零售,户外用餐,美发沙龙和理发店,房地产, 商业楼宇管理,零售租金,维修和清洁以及车辆销售与租赁都可以开张或者扩展业务了。https://www1.nyc.gov/site/doh/covid/covid-19-businesses-and-facilities.pag
Phase One guidance for:
Construction Businesses (PDF, June 21) Other Languages: Español 繁體中文 简体中文 Русский Kreyòl ayisyen 한국어 বাংলা Italiano Polski ײִדיש Retail Businesses (PDF, June 21) Other Languages: 繁體中文 简体中文 Русский Kreyòl ayisyen 한국어 বাংলা Italiano Polski ײִדיש Manufacturing Businesses (PDF, June 21) Other Languages: Español 繁體中文 简体中文 Русский Kreyòl ayisyen 한국어 বাংলা Italiano Polski ײִדיש Wholesale Trade Businesses (PDF, June 21) Other Languages: Español 繁體中文 简体中文 Русский Kreyòl ayisyen 한국어 বাংলা Italiano Polski ײִדיש
Free COVID-19 testing is now available to ALL New Yorkers https://www1.nyc.gov/site/coronavirus/get-tested/covid-19-testing.page
Prueba de COVID-19 gratis ahora está disponible para todos los Neoyorquinos https://www1.nyc.gov/site/coronavirus/get-tested/covid-19-testing.page
免费新冠病毒检测对所有纽约市民开放: https://www1.nyc.gov/site/coronavirus/get-tested/covid-19-testing.page
Information on Test & Trace Corps https://www1.nyc.gov/site/coronavirus/get-tested/test-trace-corps.page
Información sobre el Cuerpo de Exámen y Rastreo (Test and Trace Corps) https://www1.nyc.gov/site/coronavirus/get-tested/test-trace-corps.page
测试和追踪资讯https://www1.nyc.gov/site/coronavirus/get-tested/test-trace-corps.page
Pediatric Multisystem Inflammatory Syndrome Fact Sheet (PDF, May 11) Other Languages: Español Русский 繁體中文 简体中文 Kreyòl ayisyen 한국어 বাংলা Italiano Polski ײִדיש العربية Français اردو فارسى ελληνικά עברית हिन्दी 日本語 नेपाली Português ਪੰਜਾਬੀ (India) ਪੰਜਾਬੀ (Pakistan) Tagalog ไทย བོད་ཡིག Tiếng Viet
Latest guidance on evictions and housing court from the Mayor’s Office to Protect Tenants https://www1.nyc.gov/content/tenantprotection/pages/covid19-home-quarantine (scroll to the bottom of the page to access the information in other languages)
Orientación actualizada sobre desalojos y el tribunal de la vivienda de la Oficina del Alcalde para Proteger a Inquilinos https://www1.nyc.gov/content/tenantprotection/pages/covid19-home-quarantine (deplácese hasta el final de la página de internet para acceder a la información en otros idiomas)
市长办公室保护房客的最新驱逐和住房法院指南https://www1.nyc.gov/content/tenantprotection/pages/covid19-home-quarantine (其它语言在页面底部)
Alternate side parking has been suspended until June 28, 2020.
Estacionamiento lateral alternativo está suspendido hasta el 28 de Junio del 2020. 纽约市暂停换边停车延长到6/28/2020。
COVID-19 Data/ Datos de COVID-19/新冠病毒数据:
The data reflects the most recent information collected about people who have tested positive for COVID-19 in NYC. It is updated daily: https://www1.nyc.gov/site/doh/covid/covid-19-data.page
Los datos presentados a continuación reflejan la información más reciente recopilada sobre las personas que dieron positivo para COVID-19 en Nueva York: https://www1.nyc.gov/site/doh/covid/covid-19-data.page
数据显示了目前收集的有关纽约市新冠病毒检测呈阳性的人的最新信息。 每天更新:
https://www1.nyc.gov/site/doh/covid/covid-19-data.page
Public health milestones: https://www1.nyc.gov/site/doh/covid/covid-19-goals.page
Hitos de salud pública https://www1.nyc.gov/site/doh/covid/covid-19-goals.page
公共卫生里程碑: https://www1.nyc.gov/site/doh/covid/covid-19-goals.page
Other Resources/Otros Recursos/其他資源
Through July 15th, 2020, health insurance enrollment is open for uninsured New Yorkers as part of a Special Enrollment Period: https://www1.nyc.gov/nyc-resources/get-covered.page
Hasta el 15 de Julio de 2020, la inscripción en el seguro de salud está abierta para los neoyorquinos sin seguro como parte de un Período de inscripción especial https://www1.nyc.gov/nyc-resources/get-covered.page
到2020年7月15日为止,作为特殊登记时期,医疗保险将向所以没有保险的纽约人开放保险登记: https://www1.nyc.gov/nyc-resources/get-covered.page
Economic Impact Payment (stimulus check) file:///C:/Users/acanas/AppData/Local/Microsoft/Windows/INetCache/Content.Outlook/3CV3FMHH/EIP_poster_200616.pdf
https://www.irs.gov/newsroom/159-million-economic-impact-payments-processed-low-income-people-and-others-who-arent-required-to-file-tax-returns-can-quickly-register-for-payment-with-irs-non-filers-tool
submitted by Viewfromthe31stfloor to nyc [link] [comments]


2020.06.19 21:11 batsbatsrats Applying to ART College: A Megathread

Hi! After using this sub for much of my junior & senior year (on a separate account), I've noticed there’s fairly little information on applying to art college. As such, I thought I'd compile all my knowledge and research about applying to art school as someone that used to obsess over the A2C process for both normal and art schools.
This ended up MASSIVE as I tried to stuff everything I could think of related to applying to art school in here. Hope it helps some of y’all out there :-)

Introduction

Having applied and researched applying to both art and normal schools, I feel that applying to art school is much more straight forward. There are so fewer moving factors and it's definitely much less of a crapshoot than applying to T20s and Ivies. If your art is good enough and you know what they're looking for, I think getting into even the top art schools is very doable and a lot less scary than one might initially think.
For some context, I'm currently an incoming freshman at the Rhode Island School of Design (RISD) and was accepted with highest merit scholarship to all art schools I applied to, including RISD, Parsons, Pratt, and SVA. I was a 2019 and 2020 YoungArts winner in Visual Arts, a 2020 Scholastic National Gold Medalist, and a 2017 Congressional Competition where my art was hung in the U.S. Capitol for a year.
While part of it was hard work, another part of it was also figuring out how to navigate the process and choosing where to apply my effort. Figuring out what AOs want is super important if you want to maximize your chances at success.
Applying to art college is ultimately a game that anyone with a drive to create art can learn how to play, no matter how much art experience you have. And if you know how to play, it becomes a lot easier to succeed!

The Portfolio

The portfolio is no doubt the MOST important part of your application. This is a selection of your artwork that AOs will look at to determine if you're qualified enough to be admitted. Grades and ECs often matter little to none depending on the school, so if you're set on art school, make sure to focus on creating the best portfolio you can.
Depending on the school, they may ask for anywhere from 10-22 pieces. Each school has different quantitative requirements; make sure you check their website and/or Slideroom portal (where you'll upload your portfolio) for details.
Important note: Please keep in mind that my portfolio was mainly 2D fine arts with a little bit of Graphic Design from my time at RISD Precollege, which I attended in the summer before 12th grade (2019). As such, most of the research I did was about fine arts portfolios and I don't know if the information here is as applicable to portfolios with or centered on photo, video, animation, etc. It's also most specific to RISD & other top art schools in the U.S. (but we're all overachievers here anyway lol).

Major-specific vs Non-major-specific portfolios

Some schools want portfolios that are specific to the major you apply to (though this is relatively rare) or portfolios that are "focused" on (rather than only on) a specific major (this is a little more common). They may not even mention it explicitly on their website, so make sure you clarify what the school wants.
The advice & info I'll give is about non-major-specific portfolios (which schools like RISD (especially), Pratt, Parsons, SVA, SAIC, MICA, etc. want/accept), so keep that in mind!

What to include in a portfolio? (For art schools)

While this honestly varies from school to school, I know that top art schools not only want to see technical skill, but conceptual thinking and experimentation as well. I think a current RISD student that gave a portfolio lecture at RISD precollege put it really well—RISD (and many other top art schools) look for things that they admit they can't teach you, like a POTENTIAL to grow, a drive to experiment and explore, a proclivity for a type of thought-process that they think makes great artists. Realism and technical drawing skill are all things that anyone can learn with enough practice (and at many art schools like RISD, Pratt, and Parsons, you WILL be practicing through foundation year studies).
That being said, schools still want to see that you have adequate technical skills to build upon. You want a mix between technically-strong pieces and conceptually-strong pieces, i.e. pieces that show off your rendering abilities and pieces that show off your ability to put ideas and thought behind your pieces. Of course, these two categories can heavily overlap (and it's probably better if they do!), but if they don't, make sure you have BOTH in your portfolio.

Technically-strong pieces

Technically-strong pieces are pieces that demonstrate your mastery over your medium. Many this means super-detailed colored pencil still lives, well-crafted and purposeful sculptures, intricate landscapes, accurately rendered buildings, etc. In addition to making things detailed, technical skill also includes a strong grasp of color, light, composition, form, space, etc.
Tip: Composition especially is something many art school applicants don't pay much attention to (according to some AOs I've talked to), so make sure you're not putting everything right in the center of your page/canvas/etc. Also, play with cropping and having parts of the subject & objects go off the page rather than containing the entirety of the subject/object within the bounds of your page.

Conceptually-strong pieces

Having a portfolio of impeccably rendered but purely technical pieces may get you into some schools, but top art schools will still turn you down. I know of so many people who've submitted portfolios full of hyperrealistic graphite shoes or tools or other objects, only to be rejected. Such portfolios show that the artist lacks the ability to go beyond depictions of life and given another dimension to their art—a conceptual dimension.
By "conceptually-strong" pieces, I mean pieces that are idea and thought-driven rather than just purely technical. Think about how you can indicate a narrative within your piece or say something.
Think also about how you intentionally choose certain compositions, certain lighting, certain colors, certain styles, certain painting techniques, etc. to help subtly build the narrative of your piece. This is really important as it shows you're thinking about these things.
This DOESN'T necessarily mean that there has to be some explicit "moral" or message to your piece; trying to spoonfeed a story through very explicit (i.e. not-subtle) imagery can result in cheesy symbolism and pieces that feel cliche.
(I hope to add more to this later when I can put it into words better—this category is so broad and vague and I wish I could be more specific. Feel free to ask more specific questions about it below!)

Mastery over a range of mediums

Top art schools like seeing that you skillfully use and experiment with different mediums. Maybe if you mainly work with pencil and pen, you can try paint, which is wet and a lot looser than highly controlled dry mediums. Maybe you can try 3D!! Many high schoolers are scared of it so it'll make you stand out (if it's well-executed).
Tip: You can also play with combining multiple mediums in one piece. Consider less conventional mediums like e.g. painting on wood (having the wood show through under the paint can create a cool effect, plus you can also burn wood to create designs & cool effects), creating texture with crumpled newspaper, incorporating wires to create a 3D aspect, etc. The list goes on and on!
That all being said, don't put in a bad piece just for the sake of showing that you work with different mediums. If the piece isn't very good, it can end up hurting you more helping you :')
Additionally, some art schools may not care all that much about seeing a range of mediums. This is definitely more of a thing at schools like RISD.

Life studies: figure drawings, still lives, landscapes, etc.

Art schools want to see that you can draw from life. This means literally looking at things IRL and drawing them instead of drawing from a photograph. These pieces don't have to fully executed, fleshed-out pieces—it's common for people to send shaded black-and-white charcoal sketches of figures. They can also be sketchbook pages from sitting at a coffee shop, a park, a train station, your room, and just drawing the people, animals, objects, scenery, etc. around you. This is also a time to combine mediums if you want to add a splash of color to pen/pencil drawings. You can have fun with it!
That being said, it's still very important to display well-executed technical skill, ESPECIALLY for still lives as those are probably the most common life drawing + are in nearly every single portfolio and probably the easiest of the 3.
Tip: Put shadows underneath your still lives; don't just have them floating in a blank white page! Try to also draw at least some part of the background so that the object is indicated in a space. Play with composition and try to break away from putting everything right in the middle of your page/canvas with nothing going off the edges (bc still lives are like that and it gets very boring!)
If you can't access live nude models for figure drawing, there are some online resources where you can draw nude models meant for this exact purpose, both timed and untimed (posted below!). Though it won't be from life, it may still be worth including as human anatomy is important and something many art schools focus on, especially in your first year.
Although the vast majority do, some schools don't care about life studies or purely technical pieces at all (notoriously parsons!), so make sure you do your research through attending National Portfolio Day & contacting admissions with questions (more on that later).
Note: You should only submit a few of these!

Sketchbook pages

This very much depends on the school—some really want to see them and some may only want to see your best, most completed work. Typically, a school that DOES want sketchbook pages will explicitly ask to see them. Make sure you check their website or ask them!
If they DO want to see sketchbook pages, you can include thumbnail sketches, planning for another piece, life drawings, small experimentations, anything that gives a "behind the scenes" look into your art making and thinking. It's great also to show sketchbook planning for another piece you have in your portfolio. Schools like RISD really want to sketchbook pages so make sure you keep one!
Note: You should only submit a few of these!

School-specific assignments/tests

Some art schools will require you to create art based on a specific prompt. This prompt may change every year or stay the same. This is an important chance to show how you tackle an art assignment given by the school itself and a good assignment response can really boost your portfolio. I wouldn't go as far as to say these "make or break" your portfolio, however, as schools have explicitly stated that the rest of your portfolio is also important and not to devote all your time and energy onto the assignment at the cost of a lower-quality portfolio. Still take it seriously though!
Cooper Union (tbh it's the only school I know of that does this) gives a "home test" where they mail/email you a list of prompts to make art from that they assess you on. There's also a bunch of questions you have to answer (I don't know much about the home test so please let me know if this info is wrong or misleading!).
RISD's this year (just released a few days ago!) is "Identify something in need of repair. Use any material or approach to fix it." and an accompanying written response (further details here).

Portfolio tips

Be creative. Come up with unique concepts.

I'm sure someone out there is reading this thinking, 'Well, DUH, it's art school! Of course I have to be creative,' because I'd probably think the same. Yet, you'd be surprised how often AOs continue to see still lives of fruit or glass bottles, green landscapes, a portrait painted with a flurry of unnatural skin tones, etc.
Don't make things just because everyone else is making them. I guarantee you that you don't need a still life of fruit to get into art school. Instead, think about what pieces like that show AOS (for still lives, it'd be technical skill) and think about ways you can show those same skills but in a less-generic way. This piece by @lemoncholy_(IG) (link to a timestamped youtube video) is a great example of a fun and original still life that also works in a narrative while displaying technical skill.

Break out of rigidity

Common among applicants who are really skilled in realism are portfolios full of tightly rendered portraits and scenes from life, but nothing else. This is bad because it shows you don't know how to experiment and that your artistic skills and vision are limited within the very narrow realm of photographic realism.
Play with adapting a "looser" hand. Watercolor is great for this because it's so fluid! You can also play with combining realism and abstraction or illustration. An artist that I think does this well with oil paint is Jenny Saville. You can also experiment with stylizing some of your realism. Degas's pastel portraits

Don't place everything in the center

I mentioned this earlier, but placing things in the dead center is probably the most common composition that high school applicants use, usually without a particular reason why and just because it's the "default." Many AOs I talked to really emphasized it so definitely play with putting things off-center and asymmetry!!

Have backgrounds. Yes, even to still lives!

Also mentioned earlier, but pure white backgrounds should be avoided whenever appropriate. They can make pieces look unfinished and usually happen because people are scared of them. Break out of your comfort zone! Even if the background is simple, it still indicates the object in a space instead of it just floating in space.

Don't be afraid of color

Try to make more than half of your pieces in color! I'm not sure if this is as much of a problem now, but don't be afraid of it! It's much easier to work with it when the colors are controlled, like with colored pencils, versus when you have to mix your own colors, like with watercolor.

Make your artistic choices intentional

Why did you choose this certain composition? This color palette? This style? This lighting? Realism vs semi-realism? How can these choices help build a narrative without having to shove it down the audience's throat through explicit imagery?
Answering these questions can help you make more intentional and meaningful choices! and explaining these choices in the description will definitely give you a boost as it shows you're thinking deeply about critically (critically thinking) about your art-making.

Spend time on your written descriptions

Honestly, even if the work itself is subpar, a stellar description that reveals a lot of depth to the piece can save it and show that you think a lot about your artistic choices and art-making in general. From then, it just becomes an execution issue which you can work on in school.

Quality > quantity, but don't add too few pieces either

Don't try to reach the max-pieces limit with "filler" pieces that aren't very good. It'll bring the overall quality of your portfolio down.
At the same time, don't include too few pieces. If it asks for 20 pieces, try to give at least 13. If it asks for 12, try to give at least 9. Not every piece has to be absolutely outstanding!

Common mistakes

A purely technical portfolio

I'm sure I'm beginning to sound like a broken record at this point lol, but this is super important!! It's so so common for technically amazing applicants to get rejected because their portfolios are all just technical studies without any narrative or conceptual thought behind the majority of their pieces.
Tell narratives through your art. Go to art museums. Ask yourself what it means to be an artist and your role in society. What power does art have that other methods don't? How can you use your art to say things and reach others in ways that only art can?

Fanart or anime

Especially anime. They don't like it at all. The reasons are a little BS imo :( but you can't fight them; just don't do it.

Master copies

Mastercopies are when you replicate/copy famous pieces of artwork—art from "masters"—as accurately as possible.
This is a lesser offense than including fanart/anime and whether schools actually care will vary from school to school, but I know that schools like RISD & Parsons really don't like them and RISD specifically advises against them. They don't show any originality and the display of technical skill is also damped by the notion that it was copied from someone else's art.
Personally, I think master copies are actually super beneficial to people learning a certain medium and I really encourage people to do them as studies. Just don't put them in your portfolio!

Badly photographed pieces

The documentation of your pieces is an often overlooked yet highly important part of your portfolio. Try to take photos of work outside in bright but shadowy areas. This way you get natural light but not the glare of direct light. Rent a camera and learn how to use its basic settings or use a phone with a high-quality camera.
Crop your photos to the edges of your piece. Alter weird lighting, contrast, and color inconsistencies using a photo editing software. Photoshop is perfect for this as it's super powerful. If you don't have a subscription, PM me and I can help you with getting it for free.
Art Prof also has tooons of stuff on documenting your work here in the middle/second column of links near the top.

What makes the best portfolio? (For NON-art schools)

When submitting a supplementary portfolio to non-art schools, non-art schools typically prefer high-technical skill works and fully fleshed-out, finished works. Unless your experimental pieces are also highly skilled, it's best to go for very well rendered pieces that also have some conceptual thinking behind them.
The people looking at your supplementary portfolio may often be normal AOs that don't know much about art, and high-skill pieces will seem most impressive. And whereas the applicant pool for top art schools like RISD consists of many high-technical-skill low-conceptual-skill portfolios, supplementary portfolios to non-art schools on average usually aren't as good so you don't need as many risky, conceptual pieces to stand out.
Plus, non-art schools don't give two shits about your "potential to grow" in art so show off all the current skill you have rather than what you could have in the future! Especially if you don't even plan to do art in college.

Ordering your pieces

The order of your pieces does matter. You want to leave the best impression you can on the AOs and psychology plays a part in it. People generally agree that the first two and last two pieces should be your strongest pieces. You want to start and end with a bang.
Other than that, it's up to you and depends on your portfolio pieces. You could try grouping similar pieces together, but if two pieces are too similar to each other, it can seem repetitive and you should probably take one of them out (instead of just moving it somewhere else). You could also play with mixing things up, but be careful not to break the cohesion of your portfolio by jumping between pieces that have completely different purposes and moods—you want the order of your pieces to flow without seeming boring or repetitive.

What is Slideroom?

Slideroom is a portfolio uploading site where the majority of schools (including non-art schools) will ask you to submit portfolios on. Each school will have their own Slideroom portal (usually something like "[schoolname].slideroom.com") and you'll have to submit your portfolio separately for school you apply to.
When you upload pieces onto slideroom, you'll have the option to add a title and description for your piece. You may also have a box for year, medium, size, etc. depending on if the schools asks for it.
Tip: I highly recommend creating a separate document/spreadsheet with all your artworks' names, mediums, years, sizes, and descriptions as you'll have to put in that information again each time you submit a portfolio to another school (there IS an option on Slideroom to copy all your entries from portfolio A into portfolio B, but portfolio B may ask for yeamedium/size/etc. while portfolio A may not, which would require you to put it all in for portfolio B).

More tips!

Two ~1hr Youtube videos about "art school portfolio secrets" with tons more tips from Clara Lieu (former adjunct RISD professor) @ Art Prof!! Here and here.
A bunch of portfolio tips + more common mistakes by Art Prof (again lol) here (same link as the one about documenting artwork)!

Grades, Tests, Extracurriculars, Awards, Classes, etc.

Academics

Generally, grades and test scores very little to art schools. Most art schools barely care about your GPA and SAT, if at all. Even RISD, which probably cares the most out of all the art schools, has accepted people with sub 3.0 GPAs and sub 1200 SAT scores. Contrarily, many 4.0 UW 1400+ SAT people have been rejected because their portfolios are subpar. And it makes sense when you think about it, as academic strength matters little relative to your artistic strength when at art school.
Extracurriculars are more or less the same deal. Some schools only ask for art related ECs, so it's nice to have a few. It also may give you something to talk about.

Art Competitons/Awards

From my understanding awards also don't matter very much to art schools, and at least not as much as your portfolio. I know people who've won numerous Scholastic National Medals that were rejected from schools like RISD. IMO this makes sense, as art school AO's would definitely trust their own judgment when looking at someone's portfolio over that of a competition's that they aren't affiliated with, especially since they're admitting them to art school, which values potential, while competitions value skill.
Some schools give a few scholarships based on art competitions like YoungArts, Scholastic, etc. I always think it's a good idea to try for these as you often have nothing to lose except for your time and the application fee and you may end up with some portfolio pieces while preparing for them.
There are mainly two large art competitions that I know of:

Scholastic Art & Writing Awards

This is probably the largest art competition in the country. It has both regional and national awards. It's not too difficult to get some regional awards and it looks good on a resume. Anyone 7th-12th grade can apply and you need to do it while affiliated with a middle school/high school art teacher.
They have many different visual arts categories such as photography, drawing & illustration, sculpture, mixed media, design, digital, comic art, etc. They also have a whole writing section that also has a bunch of different categories.

National Youngarts Foundation

This is a fairly prestigious competition with only ~50 winners nationwide, only half (or less) of which are Finalists. For visual arts, you submit a portfolio of 10 pieces that generally follow some unifying theme (the specifics change from year to year so make sure you check their site for details). Anyone 15-18 OR in 10th-12th grade can apply (so many college freshmen still qualify!). The due date is in October and if you get notified if you're a winner in December.
There are also many other categories outside of visual arts, such as theatre, writing, singing, dancing, classical music, etc.

AP Art

I personally never took this class as it wasn't offered at my school, so I wish I could say more about it. From my understanding, this class is a good portfolio builder, and many who take it before 12th grade end up with portfolio pieces. I think most art colleges don't allow you to use AP Art credit in college.

School Art Classes and Private Art Classes

In terms of getting you into art school, I don't think having these on your transcript or resume will increase or reduce your chances at all. However, these are definitely great opportunities to work on portfolio pieces and get feedback from teachers and peers.
Private art classes (if you find a good one) are definitely a great place to work specifically on portfolio pieces. Usually your instructor will work closely with you to build a portfolio and create pieces. Having not really done or learned anything in my school art classes, private art classes definitely helped me churn out a lot of art for the first half of high school.

Choosing an art school

Your major matters

The quality of your education at a certain institution will be VERY major dependent. While it may be tempting, don't just look at acceptance rates because they can mislead you (sidenote on this: try to get acceptance rates from students or the school's website because the ones Google reports are always much higher for some reason).
Even reputation can sometimes be misleading—for example, while RISD is sometimes considered the "Harvard" of art schools, it has a poor animation, video, and photography department. Contrarily, SVA has a great animation program despite having a high acceptance rate and despite some of their other departments being questionable in quality.

Flexibility in switching majors

If you aren't sure which major you want to go into or unsure if you necessarily will want to stay in your current major, keep in mind how easy or hard it'll be to switch majors. Some schools require you to apply to a certain major and are very inflexible about changing majors. For example, to do Fashion at parsons (which is famous for their fashion), you have to specifically get into the Fashion major because it's so competitive and they probably judge the applicants at a different standard.
Additionally, their first-year curriculum is completely different from all the other majors' first-year curriculums (which is usually a foundation year where ALL majors take the SAME classes on fundamental art skills like drawing and design). If you get into Parsons for something else, I've heard it's relatively easy to change majors from say Illustration to Graphic Design to very hard to change majors into Fashion.
It also may be hard to transfer out of such majors. Animation at SVA has a different first-year curriculum than most of the other majors (which also have a foundation year) which SVA brings up as why you can't switch from Animation to GD or Illustration but why you can switch form GD to Illustration or vice versa. I've heard of people who went into SVA for animation but realized after their second year that they didn't actually like animation. As a result, they either had to stick with it for another two years and 140k later or drop out.

Location

This is true for both art and non-art schools. Depending on your major, it may be easier to find work in more urban areas or certain cities. That gives schools around SoCal or NYC an advantage compared to schools in, say, Florida. Make sure you consider if that's something important for you and your major.

Connections/Networking

This may only be applicable for 'industry majors' like Graphic Design, Industrial Design, Textiles, etc. and not so much for very fine-arts majors like Drawing and Painting. But for those formerly mentioned majors, I've been told straight up that you pay for art school for the connections and the networking. Reputable schools have well-connected faculty and networking events with renowned companies and employers. This is super important in art industries like Graphic Design, where your salary can fluctuate GREATLY depending on where you work.

Ultimately, the name doesn't matter that much

While prestige may help someone graduating from a NON-art school find a good job, for art schools, your graduating portfolio matters a LOT more (NOTE: The portfolio I mention in this section is the one you build during your time at art college. The portfolio I mention in the next section and for the majority of this post is the one you apply to art school with). This is the body of work that you come out of college with and is what hirers (for industry majors) are looking at to decide if your artistic vision and skill is what they're looking for. The best art school for you then is the one that helps you build your best body of work, and that may not be the well-known big-name schools.

Do you like their student work?

Some schools have an affiliated Behance site where students (and alums) can post artwork that they make. You can usually filter the work in the site by major and year. The URL is typically "portfolios.[schoolname].edu" but I'd look up "[schoolname] portfolios" or "[schoolname] student work" in google as many schools don't have an affiliated Behance site.
This is a great way to see what students are currently making. You may find that you particularly do or don't like the work produced, and that's a really important indicator for whether that school would be a good fit for you.

Other options

Art at a non-art school

This can sometimes be risky imo as art programs in non-art schools are often small and not very good. Especially when there's only one professor for your major, you run the risk of getting a limited/narrow education in a field that requires fresh ideas and creative problem-solving (for most majors). The quality of the education may also just not be very great, and you'll also have fewer peers to grow from (Your classmates in art school are super important imo as you'll constantly be learning and growing off each other. You literally spend a third of your time in art school getting feedback from your peers.).
That being said, there are definitely some non-art schools with a strong arts and/or design department, like Yale, UCLA, and Carnegie Mellon. It can be hard to find stuff about this online and I wish I knew some better ways to research this, but it's best if you can talk to a professor or art student who's more 'in the know' about this stuff.

What if I don't only want to do art?

Most art schools only offer a very arts-centered education. Some have an art history/liberal arts requirement but those classes are limited. You'll still have to take some non-art classes, and if that's enough for you, great! But if not, you could consider doing art at a non-art school, where you'll have access to the school's non-art majors and courses too.
At RISD, you not only have a (relatively) heftier liberal arts requirement, but you also have the opportunity to take classes at Brown University right next door starting your sophomore year. However, I've heard that it's actually pretty difficult to schedule these classes as RISD classes are usually really long and the two universities don't really work together to coordinate classes.

Dual Degree Programs

There are also some dual degree programs, most famously the Brown RISD dual degree program. This shit is competitive as fuck to get into (3-4% acceptance rate) but an amazing opportunity as you get a degree from both Brown University and RISD after 5-years. You can find a lot more info about it online. Overview of some specific logistics about its admissions here. There's also the Tufts SMFA 5-year dual degree which also has a 4-year option if you only want a degree from Tufts.

FAQs/Misc

I only recently got into art/I don't have a lot of experience. Do I still have a chance at top art schools?

Contrary to popular belief, people who are good at art are rarely truly "talented." Much of it is really just practice, practice, and more practice. Even with talent, practice is still essential (just like how talented athletes still have to train really hard in order to do well).
But imo, you can practice "smartly" and not-so-smartly. I know of multiple people who only started making art mid-high school or never took an art class before an art camp the summer before 12th grade and these people got into some of the best art schools in the country! They weren't secret Van Gogh's who had finally uncovered their god-given talent; they just knew how to build a portfolio that highlighted their strengths over their weaknesses and showed they had potential above all else.

How expensive is art school?

Top art schools are as expensive as top non-art schools. Some, like RISD, are notorious for being stingy about giving money. It's a sad reality. However, there are definitely other affordable but decent options outside of the big-name schools. Remember that a school might be alright overall but really good for your major, specifically!

How do I know if art school is right for me?

I struggled with the same question and am honestly still struggling with it. Is art to you a hobby or a passion? Would you be ok with doing art as a job, even if it means sucking some or most of the joy out of it? Would you be willing to go into debt for a degree that may be hard to pay back?
Do you want to go to school with passionate and driven students doing what they love? Do you want to go to school with students all more-or-less doing the same thing as you? Are you ok with focusing mainly on art but dabbling in other subjects too?
Ultimately, you can also always transfer schools!

Resources

Oh boy,, my favorite part lol. Disclaimer: I'm not affiliated with any of the links or organizations below :’)

Portfolio reviews

National Portfolio Day - A collection of days throughout the year where you can have your portfolio reviewed & critiqued by representatives from a whole host of art schools. There's typically one in a certain state/region per year. It's a great opportunity to get legit feedback on your portfolio and I highly recommend people to attend if possible, especially if they're unsure about what direction to move forward in with their portfolio. Also a great time to ask art schools questions!! Calendar here.
Virtual National Portfolio Day - NPD but online through Careereco. Many schools also attend. Dates for upcoming VNPDs are on the NPD website. Their most recent one (as of the time I'm writing this) was on May 22nd, 2020; you can find the details for that one here.
This is still fairly new (first one was in 2019) and can get very hectic with long wait times but the whole thing usually runs the whole day from ~6 a.m.–5 p.m. EST. I'd definitely recommend NPD over VNPD if possible.
AICAD - If you can't make NPD, you can submit a 5-piece portfolio online to have it reviewed by a select list of art schools that you get to choose from. Not many schools participate but some decent ones do, like RISD and MICA. You'll get an email with feedback.
In my experience, a lot of schools used it as an advertising platform and I didn't get that much useful feedback on my portfolio. However, some schools (like RISD) did give feedback and it's definitely worth trying though if you want as much feedback as possible!
Art Prof Portfolio Critiques - Art Prof, a free online art education service, posts 30+ min critiques of user-submitted portfolios on their Youtube channel. The reviewers include art school professors and grads. You can buy a review on Art Prof's website.
They also have a ton of live art piece critiques (scroll through the created playlists) on all categories of visual art that you can submit your own art for for free!

Portfolio Examples

Admitted Portfolio Youtube Videos - A playlist of admitted art school portfolios + tips + general videos with info about art school. As of now, it hasn't been updated with the Class of 2020 acceptances, but has most of the ones from before then.
Art Prof Portfolio Critiques - (as mentioned above!)

Learning

Art Prof - The HOLY GRAIL of free online art education. The founder and head, Clara Lieu, is a former RISD Adjunt Professor. There is a TON of useful stuff on here, including tutorials in oil paint, marker, animation, printmaking, 3D, etc; ideas for art and portfolio pieces; guides on composition, light, portraits, etc; guides for photography art; etc. Literally sooo much useful content.
Here's a post with a ton of useful info on art school portfolios!
They also have a Youtube channel that is also incredibly useful and heavily integrated with their main site. As mentioned earlier, they have a lot of full portfolio critiques which you yourself can also purchase. You can also submit art on their site to get critiqued on their channel. They have tons of useful guides on just about everything art related, like it's seriously crazy. Literally God Prof.
New Master's Academy - Tons of solid lessons on all sorts of fundamental art skills, including anatomy, oil paint, watercolor, etc. A not-free subscripton based service. They also have a Youtube channel where they post some critiques and lessons here.

Reference Photos

Figures (nude and clothed)

Line of Action - Timed nude and clothed models. Also has facial expressions, animals, landscapes, etc.
Quick Poses - Timed also; same as Line of Action but the images vary more in quality (though they're also more diverse).
Artmodeltips.com - Tons of nude poses with some clothed. Not timed.
Senshistock on DeviantArt - Clothed and nearly-nude poses. Many are from dynamic perspectives and they're overall more suited for anatomy reference in illustrations but still serve as good practice.

Royalty-free images

For when you want to heavily reference a photograph that isn't yours. It's a good habit to start building as it's you could get sued using copyrighted photos + it's looked down upon. Take reference photos yourself if possible!
Pexels
Pixabay
...and tons more!
Hope this was helpful! I knew this would be long but it's now very very close to the 40k character limit lol and I'm out of space. I'll definitely try adding and editing stuff as I remember more art school-related content.
Feel free to ask any additional questions below and I'll try to answer them if possible!! I'm sure there are some things I've unintentionally glossed over, so please don't hesitate to ask :') If you have questions about specific schools, I may also be able to help!
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2020.06.16 18:25 splefkow1 I feel like your “game” can come and go depending on the situation you are operating in

I feel like half the battle to getting and attracting women deals with the environment you are operating in. In my life when I was in good places it was easy to get and hook up with women. Compared to where in times of my life I wasn’t happy with the what was going on it would be getting little to no action at all.
He’s my examples:
High School- Was relatively popular on football, wrestling and lacrosse teams. Had lots of friends and good social circle. Was able to throw parties at my house on weekends. Had a good amount of plates and it was easy had to turn some girls down.
College- Went to a big party schools in USA with on of best Greek life in country first semester was legendary. Unfortunately I got busted for dealing weed out of my dorm. Kid on my floor who bought form me snitched on me I retaliated by Giving him a Jorge Masvidal style knee to the face. What is on the verge of being thrown out of the school. Luckily my family donated a lot of money to the school and they were able to keep me in or they Threaten to pull the scholarships they given the school. However the school was going to make it miserable on me. From the second semester of my freshman year to the second semester of my junior year I had to be in by 10 PM every night and do 137 hours of community service a semester. And I would not be allowed to do fraternity there or be thrown out. At that school if you’re not on the sports team or frat you chances of getting laid or let alone partying slim to none. I begged with my family to let me transfer someone else but they made me stick with it or they cut me off my trust fund.
During that time a game definitely regressed a lot my self-esteem as well. I was too embarrassed about my situation to approach any girls there. Didn’t have many friends either it was hard when you had to be in by 10pm. I also had a bad living situation So it was impossible to take girls home. It was in the middle of the rust belt so there was not much outside of school it was like a bubble. However I was able to turn it around by making high honor roll at the end and getting into a very good MBA program. But definitely hated every moment of being there and there is still tension for my parents making me stay. It’s like going to an amusement park but not allowed to be on any rides. I think college is total bullshit.
After College- I moved in an apartment in NYC with a few of my buddies from home. Worked for Real estate development company while I finished my MBA. Was able to break off rust quick. I felt like in Manhattan It wasn’t like college which is a bubble you had to be in frat or sports team to meet new girls. Started meeting girls had bars and online dating. Before you knew it I was able to shake off all that rust I got from college. And the first time in years was able to get plates spinning regularly. Before the corona hit it was fairly easy going out on the weekends and it no longer became such a struggle like it was in college.
My advice is that sometimes there’s a good time sometimes there’s bad times. I feel like a lot of it is your social and living situations you are thrown into.
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2020.06.12 10:26 kittehgoesmeow What A Day: Free Milley by Sarah Lazarus, Brian Beutler & Crooked Media (06/11/20)

"I'm thinking about the banana stand on Arrested Development." - Sen. Mitt Romney (R-UT), doing that weird likable thing again

The Alarmed Forces

As President Trump continues to inflame racial tensions and threaten peaceful protesters with violence, he’s increasingly fighting against not only public opinion, but Congress and the U.S. military, too.
Top military officials publicly backing away from him hasn’t stopped Trump from continuing to threaten protesters with federal force.
It’s stunning to see the top military official in the country publicly denounce the president’s actions. It’s also a sobering reminder of just how far Trump has gone off the rails, and the scale of what’s at stake. As Joe Biden warned bluntly on The Daily Show on Wednesday night, “This president is going to try to steal this election.” Trump’s racist, authoritarian slide is part of that effort, and underscores the reality that we’ll need all hands on deck

Look No Further Than The Crooked Media

NEW POD ALERT! Introducing Unholier Than Thou, our new podcast from journalist Phillip Picardi that seeks to find answers from above for whatever the hell is going on down here.
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The first two episodes drop Friday 6/12. Listen to the trailer & subscribe wherever you get your podcasts →

Under The Radar

Police in Louisville, KY, released a virtually blank incident report on Breonna Taylor’s death. In their report on the night they shot Taylor, a 26-year-old black woman, in her own home in March, officers listed her injuries as “none.” Police also checked “no” next to the form’s “forced entry” box, but witnesses and crime scene photos show they used a battering ram to enter Taylor’s apartment while she was asleep. In the “notes/narrative” section where officers were meant to explain how the events of the night unfolded, they wrote only “PIU investigation” (Public Integrity Unit). The three officers involved have been placed on administrative reassignment, but none have been arrested and charged in Taylor’s death. Let’s rectify that: Here’s where to sign the petition demanding justice, then scroll down to find the contact information of Louisville officials.

What Else?

Newly released body camera footage from a 2019 arrest in Oklahoma City shows Derrick Scott, a 42-year-old black man, saying “I can’t breathe” as officers pinned him to the ground. “I don’t care,” one officer replied. Scott was pronounced dead at a hospital an hour later.
Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin indicated that the Trump administration won’t disclose the recipients of more than $500 billion in bailout funding delivered through the Payroll Protection Program. The Small Business Administration has also withheld PPP loan data that the Government Accountability Office (GAO) requested.
The Biden campaign will circulate a petition urging Mark Zuckerberg to change Facebook’s indefensible policies governing political speech. Seems like if Zuckerberg were susceptible to widespread public pressure he would at least have a different haircut by now, but it’s certainly worth a shot.
New voter registration numbers have plummeted in several states during the pandemic, as the usual venues where most voters register for the first time were closed. Who needs the DMV when you’ve got https://votesaveamerica.com/register? Spread the word! (We can’t help with car stuff.)
A QAnon conspiracy theorist won her GOP primary in Georgia, and is now poised to be elected to the House of Representatives. Sure, Georgia's election was a terrifying clusterfuck of voter suppression, but at least it also yielded very scary results.
Starbucks plans to close up to 400 stores in North America and expand its pickup-only business, cruelly pivoting away from its core function as a public bathroom.
The country group Lady Antebellum has changed its name to Lady A, saying it had never before considered the associations with slavery connected to that word. Makes sense.
Read this one real fast like you’re ripping off a Band-Aid: Sean Hannity and Ainsley Earhardt are dating.
Alas, the celebs (excruciating pause) are at it again.

Be Smarter

State officials from both parties have rejected the idea of reimposing lockdowns as coronavirus cases spike. Gov. Greg Abbott (R-TX) has plowed ahead with plans to let virtually all business reopen by the end of the week in Texas, where total cases have shot up by two thirds in the past two weeks. In North Carolina, which is reporting its highest-ever rates of infection and hospitalization, Gov. Roy Cooper (D-NC) said putting restrictions back in place would be a last resort. Utah is the one state to have paused the next phase in its reopening plan, but thanks to President Trump, it’s unable to shut down a meat plant linked to hundreds of cases. Helpfully, Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin has proclaimed that “we can’t shut down the economy again.” If we’ve learned one thing, it’s that putting off difficult safety measures for short-term economic reasons absolutely works and is the right way to go.

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Is That Hope I Feel?

Blue Apron will make election day a paid day off for employees.
Army scientists have developed a promising potential coronavirus vaccine, and could begin human trials this summer.
Microsoft said it will not sell facial recognition technology to police, until there’s a federal law regulating its use.
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has called for the removal of nearly a dozen Confederate statues in the Capitol.

Enjoy

angy. BLM! on Twitter: "(Destroys racist statues while Enya plays in the background)"
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2020.06.07 18:23 WestSide75 It's Samurai Day!

Welcome to Samurai Day!

Author’s Note
Though Samurai Jeans produces excellent denim jackets, flannels, loopwheeled t-shirts, and many other clothing and non-clothing items, the scope of this installment of Samurai Day is limited to their jeans. In addition, I’m focusing on cuts and models that have been offered over the past 3-5 years. (I’m purposely omitting the 20th anniversary releases because there was a lot of it, and they’re picked over and essentially no longer available. If you’re interested in that, see Samurai’s 2018 catalogs.) You’ll also note that I describe some items in great detail and others in little detail. That’s most likely because I know little about the latter. Also, I’m a Samurai fan, but not an expert in the brand. If anything I’ve stated below is inaccurate or you’d like to me add something, please don’t hesitate to message me.

Intro
Samurai Jeans was founded in 1997 in Nishinomiya, Japan by Toru Nogami. He began his brand near the height of the reproduction craze, but he was (thankfully) not interested in strict Levi’s reproduction. Instead, Nogami-san immediately began pushing the limits of thread weight. His first jeans, the 15 oz S0510XX, were ridiculed by some in the industry, as that weight was essentially unheard of at the time. Ignoring the haters, Nogami built one of the most respected brands in Japanese denim and, along with the folks at Iron Heart, pioneered the field of heavyweight denim.

Samurai is known for its fast-fading, relatively rough, short-fiber heavyweight denim, though they still regularly produce jeans in the 15-17 oz range and not all of their denim is rough in texture. The brand is equally well-known for its flashy Japanese iconography. The patches of its flagship models feature depictions of the famous 1619 battle between samurai warriors Miyamoto Musashi and Sasaki Kojiro on the island of Miyajima (Mushashi won decisively). The samurai motif is further highlighted in the use of a silver thread in the selvedge ID, representing the blade of the samurai sword. Samurai’s jeans are “200% customized”, as Indigoshimp once said, and the buttons, rivets, and pocket bags are chock full of Japanese iconography. The flat inner portion of the rivets contain a Japanese phrase that references “the impermanence of all things” (i.e., jeans fade). The arcs of most of their jeans represent a seagull in flight, presumably reflecting the dominant avifauna of the brand’s current location, the coastal city of Osaka.

Because of this, Samurai has developed a reputation for being rather “loud.” This is true in one sense, but it’s also important to keep in mind that, of these details, only the gull arcs are visible when one wears the jeans with a belt. Samurai’s mainline jeans are vintage-inspired and, when worn, basically look like a pair of Levi’s with eccentric arcs. On the other hand, Samurai’s limited edition offerings can be much more outwardly flashy: colored wefts, colored arcs and seams, etc. Still, they’re less “out there” than many of Studio D’Artisan’s limited-edition jeans and way less crazy than some of Evisu’s painted-on jeans. Personally, I really love what Samurai does. I don’t have a drop of Japanese blood and have never even been to Japan, yet I find Samurai’s excessive, in-your-face Japanese iconography incredibly cool. It’s difficult for me to articulate why. What I can say for sure is that the more tangible aspects of their jeans – denim quality, fading properties, customization, and cuts – are among the best.

Cuts

There are many, and it can get a little confusing.

S0510: The OG cut, first released in 1998. High rise and a relatively straight leg.

S0500: Released in 2006. This is said to be a slim straight cut, but it’s a little roomier than modern slim straights. Mid/high rise.

S0511: A relatively new cut, released in 2016. Mid-rise, snug top block, and more leg taper than most of their other cuts at the time.

(Note that the aforementioned S05xx designations refer to 15 oz denim. The following S5xx designations are used for 17 oz and heavier denim.)

S510: Refers to the heavier jeans in the S0510 cuts, usually in 19 or 21 oz.

S511: Refers to the heavier jeans in the S0511 cuts, typically offered in 19 oz.

S710: This is a tapered cut with a mid- or mid/high rise. It’s a little looser in the top block and thigh than the S511 cut and has slightly less taper. This is the most popular Samurai cut outside of Japan.

S711: This is a more modern slim straight cut with a low rise and relatively snug top block. Typically offered in 17 and 21 oz weights.

S712: Samurai’s literature says it’s based on the S710 cut and is a little roomier than the S511.

S713: This is a very slim tapered cut with a similar top block to the S711. For folks with skinny thighs and smaller rears.

S3000: Samurai’s WWII cut. High-ish rise, very roomy top block and thigh, with a moderate taper.

S5000: Straight leg cut with a mid/low-mid rise. This has historically been one of Samurai’s more popular cuts, especially in Asia.

S211: A relatively new “Overseas Edition” cut not available in Japan. A typical “lifter’s cut” for us bigger dudes in the Western market. High rise, spacious top block, and a strong taper.

OD+SJ Comfort Tapered: Another relatively new (2018) cut designed by and exclusively sold at Okayama Denim. It’s another lifter’s cut that shares many similarities to the S211, though the rise seems to be a little lower.

The following S00x cuts are exclusive to Samurai’s Yamato denim. (See the following section for the denim details.)

S001: Slim straight cut

S002: Regular straight cut

S003: Slim cut with a moderate taper and a low rise

S004: Released in 2019, an update of the S003 with a mid-rise, a larger thigh, and slightly more taper

Denim and Models
All of Samurai’s mainline denim is in the 15-21 oz range, while some of its limited edition denim is produced at 24 and 25 oz. Samurai jean models are referred to by the letter “S,” the cut number, and the type of denim (usually two letters). For example, the S710XX jeans refer to the XX Samurai denim (see below) in the 710 cut. (If there are two jeans in the same cut in the same “model” of denim, the weight of the heavier denim is appended to the model name. For example, the 17 oz S711 cut Zero denim is the S711VX, while the 21 oz S711 cut Zero denim is the S711VX21oz. I told you that it was a little confusing.)

The Samurai (XX) and Zero (VX) Models feature gull-shaped arcs, a Levis’s-like red back pocket tab, and a patch that features Musashi and Kojiro preparing to battle. The phase of the moon on the patch is related to the silhouette of the cut. Straight-leg cuts such as the S5000 and S0510/S510 feature a full moon. The wide-cut S3000 also features the full moon. Cuts with slightly more taper, such as the S710, feature a gibbous moon. Skinnier cuts, such as the S0511, S511, and S713, feature a crescent moon. One exception appears to be the 211 “Overseas Model,” which has a different patch design. Most of the Samurai Model jeans feature buttons with a rising sun, while the Zero Model buttons typically feature two pine trees.

The Yamato and Jin models feature exaggerated Lee-like arcs and have Lee-like rounded back pockets. The patch artwork of the Yamato, Jin, and Geisha models have different patch artwork that lack the moon/silhouette connection.

The lot numbers on the patch refers to the production year. Samurai Jeans was begun in 1997, which is Lot 0. Productions from 1998 are Lot 1, and so on. This current production year (2020) is Lot 23. New and limited production models have a unique three-digit number after the lot number. If a new or limited production model contains a red tag on the back pocket, the “A” in the printed “SAMURAI” name will also be inverted.

To my knowledge, all of Samurai’s current offerings are unsanforized (usually unwashed, but that will be changing soon) and the vast majority of the denim is right-hand twill. The lone exception is the left-hand twill Jin denim. Unlike most modern jeans, Samurai’s jeans do not use polymer (or polymer-coated) stitching. This has upset some denimheads, and I’m personally not a fan of this decision for heavyweight jeans. (That said, I have not personally had any problems with Samurai’s stitching at my desk job.) But if you want to wear Samurai jeans for construction, rock-climbing, or skateboarding, you will probably need to do repairs at some point.

Samurai Model (XX)
Somewhat confusingly, the Samurai Model consists of at least four different types of denim. The 15 oz XX denim is the Otokogi denim. The Otokogi denim is made of tightly woven, short-fiber Texas cotton. It’s reportedly rather scratchy at first, and does not shrink or stretch as much as most of Samurai’s other denim. It also fades faster than most 15 oz denim, somewhat vertically like left-hand twill denim. Some of the commonly available 15 oz XX model jeans:


The 16 oz XX denim in the Oiroke denim, which is the same as the Geisha denim (discussed later). This use of 16 oz denim in the XX model is relatively new and appears to be limited to the 211 Overseas cut. These jeans feature the pine tree buttons that are used in the VX models and have a pink and silver selvedge ID. The patch is also very different than the standard XX/VX model patch. The only jean that I know of in this current model is the S211XX (high-rise, tapered lifter’s cut).

The 19 oz XX denim is the Kiwami denim. This is a slubby, densely woven denim that stretches a good amount and has a very subtle gray hue. The Kiwami denim reportedly consists of a mixture of Texas and Australia cotton, and it’s well-known for its fast and beautiful fading. Some of the commonly available 19 oz XX model jeans:


Rounding out the XX denim is the 21 oz Cho-Kiwami denim. This denim has appreciable slub (a little less than the Kiwami), is also appreciably stretchy, and also fades rather quickly. The most noticeable difference between the Cho-Kiwami and Kiwami denim, besides their weights, is that the former has a pleasant slightly light blue hue with a classic vibe. It is also probably a mixture of Texas and Australia cottons. The most commonly available 21 oz XX model is the S510XX21oz: Cho-Kiwami denim, straight, high-rise cut.

All of the XX model jeans have a silver thread in the selvedge ID and buttons that depict a rising sun. The type of denim (Otokogi, Kiwami, Cho-Kiwami) is written on a patch on one of the pocket bags.

Zero Model (VX)
Somewhat less confusingly, the Zero Model consists of only two types of denim, each at a different weight. Oddly enough, one of these is the Cho-Kiwami denim.

The 17 oz VX denim is the Zero denim. It is perhaps the most textured denim that Samurai offers. It is a stretchy, loosely woven denim with a great deal of loom-chattery unevenness, slub, and nep. It also fades rather quickly. In that sense, it’s a very modern denim. It’s reportedly constructed of another mix of short-fibered Texas and Australia cotton. Some of the commonly available 17 oz VX model jeans:


The 21 oz VX denim is also the Cho-Kiwami denim. As far as I can tell, it’s the same as that of the 21 oz XX model jeans. Some of the commonly available 17 oz VX model jeans:

S711VX21oz – Cho-Kiwami denim, very slim top block, low-rise cut
S5000VX21oz – Cho-Kiwami denim, straight, low/mid-rise cut. Along with the S710XX, one of Samurai’s most popular heavyweight models.
S5000VX21oz “Kanreki” – Limited edition jean released in winter, 2020 to celebrate Nogami-san’s 60th birthday. The denim is the same as the standard S5000VX21oz, but the detailing is much different: red stitching, red buttons, proprietary patch, and tonal arcs.

Now that I’ve given you all of that information, Samurai is set to radically change the look of the XX and VX models beginning this fall. (See, I told you that this was going to be confusing.) Thanks to Levis’s legal department, the styles of these vintage-inspired jeans will no longer feature the red pocket tag, the arcs will either be tonal or stitched into the back pocket lining, and the brand name will be featured at the top of the back right pocket in red/pink lettering. See Samurai’s 2020 AW Catalog for details. (Warning: Large PDF file! Best to download onto a proper computer. If you’re not fluent in Japanese, copy and paste the text into Google Translate.) If you want a pair of Samurai jeans in the current vintage-inspired styling, buy them now!

Yamato Model (JP)

Yamato is the former name of the island currently known as Japan, and the details of the Yamato line reflect this. The cotton threads for the Yamato models are spun in Japan. The patches, made of Japanese Waygu cow leather, feature depictions of Japanese landscapes and seascapes. While the XX and VX model patches have a cartoonish appearance, the Yamato patch artwork is more serious and refined. The 15 oz Yamato denim is also very different than the XX and VX denim. Instead of rough, short-fiber Texas or Texas/Australia cotton, the Yamato denim is spun from a long-fiber blend of 40% Pima and 60% Egyptian cotton. It’s a throwback denim: overwhelmingly flat and silky smooth, little to no slub, and a little nep here and there. It’s also not terribly stretchy and gives slow-forming vintage fades. It’s essentially the polar opposite of the 17 oz VX denim, and it reminds me a lot of Studio D’Artisan’s SD denim. The Yamato line is also more accessorized than the XX and VX models. They feature fully lined Jacquard back pockets, silver sakura rivets (I’ve read they’re red and the coated silver is supposed to wear off), and a silver and black selvedge ID. There are five Yamato models, three of which are currently in production:


Jin Model (XJ)
The Jin denim is 17 oz in weight and is Samurai’s only left-hand twill denim. The denim is reportedly another Texas/Australia cotton blend but, unlike those used in the XX and VX models, is reportedly smooth and not terribly slubby. The weft yarn is gray, rather than the standard natural color. I’m guessing that these fade in the typical vertical pattern that most LHT denim does. They feature half-lined back pockets, a crotch rivet, and at least some (all?) have a cinch on the back waist. Samurai has not produced these for a couple of years and hopefully that changes in 2021. Some of the Jin models previously produced include:

S0100XJ – Slightly slim, low/mid rise, warp yarns are a relatively light hue of indigo.
S0110XJ – Slim straight cut, low/mid rise. Also a light indigo warp.
S0110XJ Blade Straight – Similar to the S0110XJ, but with a darker warp.

Geisha model (GA)

These are Samurai’s women’s jeans, made of the 16 oz Oiroke denim. Unlike most women’s jeans, these are not stretch denim. They feature burlap, checkered pockets, the patch features a sakura and a Geisha with a fan, and the red tab on the pocket reads, “GEISHA” instead of the standard “SAMURAI.” The model naming system is different than the men’s jeans for some reason. They are relatively difficult to find and I unfortunately don’t know much else about them. Some of the Geisha models that may be floating around out there:


Black warp (BK)
This is the 17 oz Zero denim with a black warp and natural weft. S5000BK – Slim straight cut with a low/mid rise.

Double black (NBK)

This is another rough-ish short-fiber cotton (probably a blend). Shrinks and stretches more that most of Samurai’s denim. Also fades to gray faster than most black denim.


Black warp, Kakishibu weft (BTX)
This was released in the 511 cut (S511BTX) in late 2017. The denim is 17 oz. I’m not sure if it’s going to be re-released again.

Book of Five Rings (GX)

This is a series of five 17 oz jeans of short-ish fiber cotton with colored wefts. Like most of Samurai’s fabrics, the GX denim seems to fade faster than average. This line was originally released in 2010, all in the S5000 cut. In 2019, Samurai began re-releasing them in three cuts: two S710 models, two S511 models, and one S5000 model. This collection celebrates the aforementioned Miyamoto Musashi’s book of the same title. Each of the five pairs of jeans in this collection represents one of the book’s five chapters. These are very much unlike Samurai’s more vintage-inspired models: loud weft colors, loud patches, gold selvedge ID, buttons plated with 22k gold, colorful arcs, 6 oz dyed pocket bags, and fully lined back pockets.

S710GX-T – Book of Earth, released fall, 2019. Tapered, mid/high-rise, kakishibu-dyed weft.
S511GX-M – Book of Water, released fall, 2019. Tapered, mid-rise, natural indigo-dyed weft.
S5000GX-HII – Book of Fire, released winter, 2020. Low/mid-rise, straight cut, red weft.
S710GX-K – Book of Wind, released spring, 2020. Tapered, mid/high-rise, green-dyed weft.
S511GX-S – Book of the Void, to be released late June, 2020. Tapered, mid-rise, gray weft

Samurai recently announced an upcoming sixth “book” model (epilogue?). The “Olympus Book, Musashi Model” (S634GX-II) is the updated version of the model that was originally released in 2010-ish. This is a relaxed cut of the same 17 oz denim as the other five models with a double indigo motif and possibly tonal arcs (or no arcs). It also features a cinch at the back waist and suspender buttons. The release date is November, 2020.

Samurai Cotton Project (SJC, JPC, J, etc.)

About a dozen years ago, the folks at Samurai decided that they wanted to make a line of jeans where all aspects of the jeans are made in Japan. So they purchased some land and learned how to grow cotton. After about four years, they had grown enough cotton for a projection of jeans. The first lot of these were outrageously expensive, about 1,000,000 yen (~USD 9,000). Because of this, they decided to produce a lot of “Half Japanese” jeans, where only the weft yarns were from their cotton farm. These retailed for 70,000 yen (~USD 650). Okayama Denim has recently sold some of Samurai’s “Half Japanese” jeans for US 775. Samurai is still producing some of “Full Japanese” jeans at a greatly reduced cost as well. I’m not sure how they achieved this, but Okayama Denim recently sold one of the 100% Japanese 20th anniversary models for $975. So these all appear to be legit-affordable for those of us in the bottom 99% now. The original model and some of the recent and semi-recent models include:

S000JPC – This is the 1,000,000 yen model from 2012. This is a slim fit that has the Yamato-like arcs.

S5000SJC – Low/mid-rise, straight leg cut. “Half Japanese”: 17 oz international warp threads and Japan-grown weft threads. Features a mix of gold and silver buttons and an orange pocket tab.

S511SCJ 20th Anniversary – Mid-rise, tapered cut. “Full Japanese”: 19 oz 100% Japanese-produced cotton threads with a natural indigo-dyed warp. Silver buttons and an orange pocket tab. My grail pair.

SA051J – 2020 release. Based on the slim fit of the S000JPC and has the same Yamato-style arcs. This appears to be made of 17 oz Zero denim warp yarns and Samurai’s homegrown weft yarns.

“End of the Year” jeans

At the end of each year, Samurai releases a limited edition jean that is only available at their store(s) in Japan. Details are usually on their web site. If you’re interested and are located outside of Japan, you’ll likely have to go through a Japan-based proxy service.

Collabs

All of these jeans are in what’s known as the “Comfort Tapered” fit, which is proprietary to Okayama Denim. It is essentially a lifter’s cut (mid/high-rise, spacious thighs and rear, heavy taper). It appears similar to the 211 cut, though it looks like the rise is slightly lower. All of these jeans feature an array of different buttons in the fly area, the sakura rivets features on the Yamato models, and hidden back pocket arcs (the arcs are stitched into the back pocket fabric, rather than onto the surface of the pocket). The hidden arcs, most likely a work-around to fend off more Levis’s lawsuits, are incredibly cool. The arc pattern fades into the back pocket over time. I really wish that Samurai would use them on more of their models. The patches denote the collaboration by featuring two Samurai warriors crossing swords and the Okayama Denim logo (e.g., “Samurai x Okayama Denim”). There have been four collabs, three of them being denim jeans. The latter are described below.

ODSJ001 “Legacy”– Released in 2018. 15 oz Otokogi denim. Features Kasuri-dyed pocket bags and fully lined back pockets (same material as the Yamato line).

ODSJ003 “Kuro” – Released in Fall, 2019. 17 oz double black NBK denim. Features indigo-dyed sashiko pocket bags and fully lined back pockets made natural-colored Jacquard. The red stitching around the black patch looks really cool.

ODSJ004 “Wagami” – Released in Winter, 2020. This is the same natural indigo weft 17 oz denim as the “Book of Water” model. The sakura-styled rivets on this model are black and the pocket bags are Jacquard. The fully lined back pocket bags feature a “Wagara” – a traditional Japanese-inspired design.

Naturally, all three of these models are sold out. But since they’re relatively recent, you may be able to find one on Grailed or eBay.

Denimio + Samurai “Around the World”

This collaboration, exclusive to Denimio, is basically a combination of Samurai’s fabrics, cuts, and buttons that are not normally sold (e.g, 21 oz denim in the S511 cut) with pocket bags that reflect the art of different nations. They also feature the white Denimio logo tab with the three blue lines. Releases from the past couple of years include:

S511XX21OZDM “China Edition” – 21 oz Cho-kiwami denim in a tapered, mid-rise fit with gold “rising sun” buttons. The pocket bags feature traditional Chinese artwork.

S710XX15OZDM “Russia Edition” – 15 oz Yamato denim in a tapered, mid/high-rise fit with the standard silver “rising sun” buttons. Pocket bags are blue and white stripes.

Denimio and Samurai had planned to release a “Europe Edition” made of 15 oz Otokogi denim (I believe it was in the S511 cut). However, this was canceled due to insufficient pre-orders.

New Stuff for Fall/Winter 2020

This is not meant to be exhaustive but, in addition to the aforementioned S634GX-II, I wanted to highlight some of Samurai’s upcoming releases. See Samurai's AW 2020 Catalog for details.

S510XX25oz-HJ – High-rise, straight leg jean in Samurai’s limited edition 25 oz denim. Special edition pocket bags (really cool artwork) and patch. Fully lined back pockets with hidden arcs, made of the same pocket bag material. These also feature light blue arcs and black pine tree buttons.

S500AX – Slim-straight cut, mid-rise. This is a new 18 oz denim that is dyed with a mixture of natural and synthetic indigo. Tonal arcs, silver buttons, and proprietary patch and pocket bags.

S520XX21oz – Relaxed tapered cut, “generous rise”, in the Cho-kiwami denim. This appears to be a new cut, though I could be wrong. Features the hidden arcs and silver “sunrise” buttons.

Where Can I Buy Samurai Jeans?

As of this writing, Denimio is probably the international retailer with the largest inventory of Samurai gear. Okayama Denim also has a substantial inventory.

If you’re in the U.S., Denimio and OD are likely your best options for price (especially with the recent closure of Rakuten’s Global Market). They also hem, check sizing prior to shipping upon request, and have reasonable return/refund policies.
Non-Japanese retailers include:

Check the shipping and (especially) return/refund details of each retailer before purchasing.
Samurai Jeans also has an online store with international shipping, but the prices seem to be quite high. Noticeably higher than at the U.S.-based retailers. Still, they have a nice selection, and if you really want something that isn’t in stock elsewhere…
There may be others that I'm unaware of.

References and Sites of Interest

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